Warpath Confessions

lol great story GM

HAHA! Talk about super-soaking that ho!

lol great story GM

Thanks. What a crazy night. But short of JFK's assassin stepping forward, I don't think ANYTHING can top EternalEnigma's kitty confession.

When I was in kindergarten it was nap time and I found a staple on the floor. For god knows what reason I told the kid next to me that he needed to close his eyes and open his mouth and I was going to give him some candy. I tossed the staple down his throat and needless to say he started coughing like crazy, I don't remember if he actually swallowed it or not. I got in trouble and had to move over to the girls side for the rest of nap time.

I also tried to choke my baby brother with a phone cord, and one time my Mom said she caught me holding a pillow over my brother's face.

I was a bit of a devil child I guess.

Gm I was reading that and couldn't look away long enough to realize I was completely mixing the rong chemicals hahha

Great story

Great story GM, that is hilarious. As for me, well I've been in my fair share of trouble. Back when I was in high school, when I was in 10th grade, well me and my friends, weren't exactly choir boys to say the least. One saturday morning we were really bored and wanted something to do, and we saw this guy we knew from high school drive past us in a fucking sweet ass looking 84 Mustang. Well none of us had cars at the time, and we watched as he drove down the street and parked at this house about a couple blocks down the road. We hated this kid because in school he was a loudmouth, ignorant a-hole who loved the smell of his own farts, to put it like that. So we decided to go take my friend's mothers new pack of baloney and go stick it all over his car lol. In case nobody has any idea what that will do to a car, well let's just say it will ruin a paint job pretty damn well.

So we snuck up to his house and stuck about 8 slices of baloney all over his nice looking 84 Mustang, we put like 3 on the hood, 4 on each door/side of the car, and 1 on the trunk. So we went back to my friend's house and sat on the porch and just started talking, because we wanted to see how long he would be inside the house because it takes time. Well about 5 hours later we noticed he came out of the house, and he just started flipping out like some shit. We just started laughing our asses off and then we went back inside. He drove past us when he left and even though it wasn't on his car that long it messed up his car because you could see all the spots where we had put the baloney, it was like an uglier shade of blue compared to the rest of his car.

Now that I have my drivers license, and I have my own car now that I actually just got yesterday, well lets just say I feel kinda bad about it, because now that I know the actual costs that come with getting a new paint job and things of that nature, that must've really sucked for him. I know if that happened to my car I'd be extremely pissed off about it lol. I'm gonna chalk that one up to being a teenager lol.

Joe if that's true that's hilarious.

I'm on a blackberry so forgive the typing. This one is not for the squeamish!!!


When I was around 17 my gf's parents went out of town for the weekend so I was with her at her house. It was friday night and we had the couchbed out watching movies and getting kinky, all the stuff you do when you're a sexually active 17 year old. I jumped from the bed to go out and smoke a j (she didn't smoke) and when I landed on a piled up blanket, it crunched and squirmed under my foot. Did I mention she had gotten the cutest grey and white kitten that week? Little guy just fit right in the palm of your hand and loved to play. Especially with blankets. To my horror the cat was quietly writhing on the floor bleeding from its ear. It was suffering in the throes of death, while my oblivious gf was naked on the bed in a sex daze. She was just sitting there glowing up at me.

I kicked the cat over to the door and dressed quickly but without alarm. I went to the garage and (ill spare you the details) but basically pulled a dwight schrute mercy killing with a monkey wrench. Then, I waited by the road for a passing truck (were in tx so it wasn't a long wait) and lobbed the carcass into the bed.

She didn't notice until the next morning, and we spent hours looking for her lost cat. I preferred to console over a runaway so that she had hope, rather than reveal the gruesome conclusive truth to her. Never told her. I told my wife about it but that's it. Sorry amy!

damn dude, not to go all religous on you but i heard jesus likes kittens. sad story but well written.

I confess to having way too much to drink last saturday night while out on the town celebrating my wife's birthday with some friends. So much so that I skipped and "danced" my way home singing Busta Rhyme's "Dangerous". I hit some street signs and mock humped a Hummer H2. Ahhh good times. Nice to know the crazy 21 year old is still in me somewhere.

I confess to having way too much to drink last saturday night while out on the town celebrating my wife's birthday with some friends. So much so that I skipped and "danced" my way home singing Busta Rhyme's "Dangerous". I hit some street signs and mock humped a Hummer H2. Ahhh good times. Nice to know the crazy 21 year old is still in me somewhere.

LOL!

That's hilarious because I know every single word to that song.

Silly wit my 9 milli, what the dilly, yo?

LOL

This, is, serious
We could make you delirious
You should have a healthy fear of us
Cause too much of us is dangerous
So dangerous, we so dangerous
My Flipmode Squad is dangerous
So dangerous, we so dangerous
My whole entire unit is dangerous