Selfishness and Human Nature

A bigger person can look past someone's perceived lack of gratitude and say you know what, that person is better off for having crossed paths with me, and that's enough for me. Sure a thank you is nice, but it's not required. Good deeds should not have strings attached.

Damn!

Firstdown= Owned

Nice post FRPLG.

How was I owned as I agree with what he said 100%. I don't expect a thank you for everthing I do but when you gather 25 people together and spend a day helping someone a little thnak you is what someone who appreciates what you did for them says. When you knock on their door to say we are done and its like you are bothering them then yes it ticks me off.

I understand the doing things that make you feel good is "selfish" argument and figured it would come up sooner or later. [Did we all see the same Friends episode?]

It is correct to say that doing things that make you feel good is acting in your self interest. However, it is incorrect to say that they are per se selfish.

"selfish" has a defined meaning - it is acting in your own self interest with disregard for the interests of others. It is the disregard for others that makes actions "selfish" rather than then the knowledge that an act serves your self-interest. Doing any action in with your self-interest at heart (whether direct tangible compensation or some indirect intangible good feeling) is not in and of itself selfish. If you do the self interested act without some, either conscience or subconscience, consideration of others then the act becomes selfish.

Seeking to reap a benefit does not mean you are acting selfishly. It only means you have a healthy sense of self-awareness and are capable of acting in a manner that allows you to enjoy life. It is when we seek to reap a benefit without considering the ramifications to others that the act becomes selfish and hurtful:

If I assist at a shelter in order to feel good about myself that is a self-interested but not necessarily selfish act. The knowledge that my actions will bring me joy, simply shows that I have a healthy sense of self awareness -- I know how to act so that I can enjoy life.

On the other hand, if I go to the shelter every night to give and feel good about giving -- blissfully ignoring the fact that my wife is home alone with the kids, stressed, lonely and feeling abandoned, then acting on my self-interest is selfish.

I really think society has skewed the concept of selfishness lately and in doing so is in danger of losing the benefit of self-awareness. Only by knowing what brings joy/satisfaction, etc. to ourself, can we understand what causes that in others and, in doing so, rationally balance the causes and effects of are actions in relation to others.

How was I owned as I agree with what he said 100%. I don't expect a thank you for everthing I do but when you gather 25 people together and spend a day helping someone a little thnak you is what someone who appreciates what you did for them says. When you knock on their door to say we are done and its like you are bothering them then yes it ticks me off.


Dude, you just contradict yourself in your own post. First you say you don't need a thank you then you say you knock on their door and you get no "thank you" which ticks you off.

Only by knowing what brings joy/satisfaction, etc. to ourself, can we understand what causes that in others and, in doing so, rationally balance the causes and effects of are actions in relation to others.

In other words, only by understanding and acting on our self interest can we "Do unto others as we would have them do unto us."

I think we are down to semantics. By a strict definition we are not "selfish" but rather self-interested as you previously stated. I believe we act in our own self-interest. All actions come from a base level of self-interest. I guess selfishness is simply a specific implementation of self-interest.

In other words, only by understanding and acting on our self interest can we "Do unto others as we would have them do unto us."

JoeRedskin is so selfish he only quotes himself :)

I have done a lot of volunteer work over the past 15 or so years. And I generally enjoy it but they have almost always been fueled by self-focused motives more so than the desire to help others. Helping others has been a nice bonus, of course.

In high school-community service looks great on the resume when applying for colleges. In college-party at my place got way out of hand so I was all about community service again. Now-Here at work it's strongly encouraged, very strongly "encouraged" that you devote several hours of your time to volunteering. So my motivation quite honestly has always been that it will help me or make me look good. Furthermore, I'm particular about what volunteer work I will do. I personally really enjoy working with kids so a lot of the volunteer work generally centers around working with them. If I'm asked to volunteer at some soup kitchen to feed the homeless, will I do it? Sure, I've done it in the past but given the choice I'd rather wait for a volunteer opportunity that I enjoy.

So I wonder, how many of you that volunteer or do community service (whatever you want to call it) are the same way-your primary motive is how it will reflect upon you and you pick and choose the type of volunteer work you will do?

Dude, you just contradict yourself in your own post. First you say you don't need a thank you then you say you knock on their door and you get no "thank you" which ticks you off.

You need to learn how to read. I said

How was I owned as I agree with what he said 100%. I don't expect a thank you for everthing I do but when you gather 25 people together and spend a day helping someone a little thnak you is what someone who appreciates what you did for them says. When you knock on their door to say we are done and its like you are bothering them then yes it ticks me off.

You need to learn how to read. I said

How was I owned as I agree with what he said 100%. I don't expect a thank you for everthing I do but when you gather 25 people together and spend a day helping someone a little thnak you is what someone who appreciates what you did for them says. When you knock on their door to say we are done and its like you are bothering them then yes it ticks me off.


The point was you should not expect any thank you at all. Just know today in this thread you were owned.

I think we are down to semantics. By a strict definition we are not "selfish" but rather self-interested as you previously stated. I believe we act in our own self-interest. All actions come from a base level of self-interest. I guess selfishness is simply a specific implementation of self-interest.

I agree with your break-down, but would suggest that, in the context discussing whether humans are innately selfish or not, it is important to be clear as to the definition of the word describing the behaviour being analyzed.