Drunk Tales

gibbsisgod

the only problem was i ws living in an efficiency apartment with one of those mini fridges. i couldnt even fit 1 pound of bacon in my fridge. it wouldnt even fit a 20 oz soda in it without laying it down. those were some rough times and i neede the food.

724Skinsfan

Do you go through the quad and into the gymnasium?

__________________
"I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

hooskins

ah the good ol' naked run...its great when you are playing agaisnt girls and they gotta do that....

__________________
Vacancy

ArtMonkDrillz

At school these two girls kept trying to distract their opponents in beer pong by flashing everyone. The problem was, they were extremely flat and had the bodies of 11 year olds. So instead of everyone saying "wow, those girls are showing their tits" they were saying "Oh my God, we're all going to get arrested for looking at little girls' tits!" Classic

__________________
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

724Skinsfan

I got drunk at another party in Blacksburg and had a friend drive me back to Roanoke. At a rest stop (Ironto) I told my friend to pull over cause I had to puke. He, being the funny guy, pulls into a well lit spot about a hundred yards walk to the nearest building, bush, tree or anything that I could use as "cover" for my hurling activities. I finally make it behind the restroom building and puke. We get back into the car and continue on. Around mile marker 148 there is a truck weigh scale station. I gotta puke again and tell my friend to pull over. He's says "Man, we're only a couple of miles from your house". I said "it's your car, dude". He immediately pulls over on the side of I-81 right in front of the weigh station (run by the Virginia state law enforcement). I get out and hurl. It's about 4am, I'm tired, drunk and just need to go to sleep. So I did. Right there on the cool, dewey grass by the weigh station until I'm woken up by a super bright light fixed on my face. Yup, a state trooper witnessed the whole thing, walked across the scales and gave me all kinds of shit. I think he thought I was alone and driving at first. I can't remember what I said (or did) but he let me off and told my friend to get me home.

Anticlimatic, I know but I'm saving some crazy ones for later in this thread.

__________________
"I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

hooskins

hahaa..no actually through the "lawn", its a long run, and it levels down at sharp points, so its can be a challenge when intoxicated, plus some people live right off the lawn...its really hard to get housing there, you have to be top in the class, alotta extra activities, etc.....those lawnies, shine spotlights at times to give streakers shit, so its kinda a overall challenge, but its alot of fun...basically from thursday night to saturday night, 11pm till 2-3 am, you will see streakers on the lawn, funny thing is cops usually dont care...

__________________
Vacancy

gibbsisgod

thats a good one. all these stories are bringing back so many memories of my own drunken escapades.

hooskins

ok so this may not count bc i wasnt that drunk, but crazy story anyways....back in 11th grade, i got F-ed over and had to be DD, bc my buds have had my back for a while and had DDed for me a bunch of times...we pregamed, and decided to do cool high school thing...TP...so we are out in Clifton, by old town, dont know if anyone is familiar with the area, but the houses are huge, like 1.5 mil+, so a couple of our friends live their we go TP, do our thing, im driving bc im pretty much sober....then it gets boring so we go to street signs, we get the tradition "SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING", and then we decide to be cool and steal the Compton Road sign...FYI people taking down road signs are hard as hell, so we finally get it down, and take off the street sign part, and put it in my car...as we are driving back we see this car pulled over on the side, and 5 hot ass girls trying to fix their car, so we had to pull over and help those poor chicks...at this place the road is wooded, single lane, and winding....the girls are trying to make their seat fall down so they can sleep in the car bc they got kicked out of a party bc of some guys parents, and they had a beer bong in the back...things are going good, we are making our connections....and then the blue and red start flashing....mind you at this point in time, we have a slow children sign, compton road sign, TP, and some of the guys have flasks on them, plus those girls had a beer bong....as soon as my friend sees the cops from a far, he throws his flask into the woods......he goes to the cops and tells him that we are helping these girls blah blah, and the cops are still really suspicious, so they ask the girls, are we harming them, and all that, but luckily they get our back, and say we are helping them...during this time, me and my bud are standing by the car, somewhat hiding the view of the car's interior where all this stuff was...eventually the cops let us go, and tell us we shouldnt be out this late....we would have been screwed seening everyone was underage, i had over the max passangers in the car(i was 17), it was past the official curfew for my age, and it was my car with all that stuff in it.....after he left we spent 15 anxious mins, and find our buds flask and leave

__________________
Vacancy

ArtMonkDrillz

I was in Bermuda a few years back and my cousin and I got completely shit faced at a bar and decided to walk back to the place we were staying. On the way back we decide to stop in this random garden in the middle of town to take a piss, no big deal.

The next day we're riding our crappy little mopeds around town and we pass the garden. I instantly slam on my breaks, my cousin sees this so he stops also to ask me what's up. I point to the garden and say that's where we pissed last night, and then I point the the sign in front of it. We, being good Catholic boys, both start to feel really guilty when we realize that the garden actually belonged to the church across the street; it was their grotto for the statues of Mary where people would go to pray outside. I think I might have pissed all over the Madonna's face! I'm going to HELL.

but that wasn't the only good Bermuda story...

__________________
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

724Skinsfan

Drinking Tip: Befriend a person that knows how to administer IV's. Get a liter or two in you (it's just saline solution) and you feel like a new man. Smelling salts (ammonia) work pretty well if your trying to stay awake.

__________________
"I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

724Skinsfan

Did you meet Tom Cruise, way down in Kokomo?

__________________
"I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

hooskins

That's where I wanna go...

__________________
Vacancy

hooskins

haha..wow pissing on church propery..havent done that one yet

__________________
Vacancy