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the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

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Old 10-11-2006, 11:06 AM   #1
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the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

We already have a "TJ Duckett Conspiracy" thread going, but I haven't heard any conspiracy theories yet, so I've decided to make a thread designed for just such a discussion (plus, as usual, I am bored).

Here are just a few thoughts:
- Gibbs hates college football and didn't want to be bothered with looking at potential draft picks
- TJ Duckett makes such good BBQ sauce that the team just needed to get him up here
- Mike Sellers always wanted a twin brother, and what Mike Sellers wants Mike Sellers gets
- Duckett lied and said he could kickoff
- Look at this picture and tell me you wouldn't trade half your picks to get this guy on your team: http://www.nea.org/readacross/images...heatleyweb.jpg
- We knew he'd be great on 3rd and 1....oh wait, forget that one

These aren't my best work. Anyone else have any ideas?
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Last edited by ArtMonkDrillz; 10-11-2006 at 11:08 AM. Reason: I titled the thread wrong
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:13 AM   #2
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

I just realized that I, being the complete idiot that I am, gave my theories for why the FO traded for Duckett, not why he isn't playing, as the title of the thread would suggest.

So, he's not playing because:

- He says all white makes him look fat, so he refuses to dress
- he's too quick with a high five and a cup of Gatorade to risk actually sending him onto the field
- He's a mouth-breather, and that's really distracting in the huddle
- Betts keeps winning "Rock, Paper, Scissors"
- We're saving him for the late season playoff run
- My friend Mike drafted him in the 8th round of our fantasy draft and we all need justification for mocking him
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:25 AM   #3
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

My theory on why he isn't playing is based on the all too sensitive topic of 'roids....


HEMMORRHOIDS!
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:30 AM   #4
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

He killed Southeast Jerome
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:32 AM   #5
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

He ate Gibbs' special sugar-free lunch
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:41 AM   #6
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

He really is Rick Ross(the song Everyday I'm Hustlin'), and he scares people with his beard on the sideline

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Old 10-11-2006, 11:47 AM   #7
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

Because he would not do it with a fox, he would not do it in a box, he does not like green eggs and ham, he does not like them Sam-I-Am.
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:48 AM   #8
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

Is Sam-I-Am related to Will.I.Am?

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Old 10-11-2006, 11:59 AM   #9
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

'cause he looks like Mr. T:

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Old 10-11-2006, 12:04 PM   #10
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

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Originally Posted by GhettoDogAllStars View Post
'cause he looks like Mr. T:

But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?
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Old 10-11-2006, 12:08 PM   #11
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

He'll only play when his beard reaches maximum potential, like these...

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Old 10-11-2006, 12:34 PM   #12
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

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Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz View Post
But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?
That's Chuck Norris you're thinking of. They are easily confused for each other.
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Old 10-11-2006, 12:39 PM   #13
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

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Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz View Post
But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?
dude, he doesn't want to get that dope suit dirty! just look at how pimp he looks in it.
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Old 10-11-2006, 01:14 PM   #14
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

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Originally Posted by FRPLG View Post
That's Chuck Norris you're thinking of. They are easily confused for each other.
RIGHT! And Chuck don't PLAY NO special teams.
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Old 10-11-2006, 01:17 PM   #15
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Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing

He won't play until Vincent and Jules bring his briefcase back
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