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The Guy's Rules.

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Old 10-30-2006, 08:53 AM   #1
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The Guy's Rules.

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(
I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "
the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides.
Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we’re never going to think of it as such.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
We meant the other one


1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,

the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Old 10-30-2006, 12:37 PM   #2
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

That's funny!

I'd like to add one:

1- When it is that time of the month, Yes, it is indeed hummer week!
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Old 11-01-2006, 09:47 AM   #3
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

pretty good.
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Old 11-01-2006, 09:53 AM   #4
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

about time, giggity. what took you so long?
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:27 PM   #5
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

1- If you can justify spending 500 dollars on a dog, or 450 on some shoes and be happy you made that decision... do NOT bitch because I buy too many 1.00 sodas in a week!
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Old 11-01-2006, 06:30 PM   #6
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

And I've had that stance on the toilet seat since I was a kid, just glad to see someone else standing with me on that one... its like its expected we have to put it up and down... there's no sharing the workload...

(the only downside, is that if they happen to fall in and they're sadistic enough- and they freaking are, believe me- they'll not clean up and let you... well you know...:vomit: )
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Old 11-01-2006, 07:55 PM   #7
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

Very nice set of rules, and very true. The toilet seat one is very accurate.
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Old 11-01-2006, 09:31 PM   #8
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Re: The Guy's Rules.

1. Yes, Football IS THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT!
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