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F... the creepy people at work

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Old 05-30-2007, 02:39 PM   #1
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Angry F... the creepy people at work

There is a temp that's been working in our office for a few months now and he really gives us all the creeps. We've nicknamed him D-FENS because he very closely resembles Michael Douglas' character from the movie "Falling Down." The only difference is that he as ratty hair and a fierce goatee that he grew out shortly after starting here.



He carries a briefcase but no one has ever seen him open (he also has no need for a briefcase here b/c hes a temp and all of work has to remain in our locked office for security reasons). He's been known to yell at the printer when it runs out of paper, he yells at his computer when it freezes, and he yells at himself for no apparent reason.

This morning my coworker caught him pacing around in the bushes outside with a cigarette in one hand and the other buried deep in the front of his pants. He may have just been keeping an eye on his shit-box of a car or he may have been doing "the bad thing," it's hard to say. Either way, it was creepy.

I spend the day in constant fear that he might sneak up behind me and slit my throat or that he might start pissing on my leg when I'm in the bathroom. Basically, I'm scared and I just wanted to vent.

I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:41 PM   #2
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz View Post
There is a temp that's been working in our office for a few months now and he really gives us all the creeps. We've nicknamed him D-FENS because he very closely resembles Michael Douglas' character from the movie "Falling Down." The only difference is that he as ratty hair and a fierce goatee that he grew out shortly after starting here.



He carries a briefcase but no one has ever seen him open (he also has no need for a briefcase here b/c hes a temp and all of work has to remain in our locked office for security reasons). He's been known to yell at the printer when it runs out of paper, he yells at his computer when it freezes, and he yells at himself for no apparent reason.

This morning my coworker caught him pacing around in the bushes outside with a cigarette in one hand and the other buried deep in the front of his pants. He may have just been keeping an eye on his shit-box of a car or he may have been doing "the bad thing," it's hard to say. Either way, it was creepy.

I spend the day in constant fear that he might sneak up behind me and slit my throat or that he might start pissing on my leg when I'm in the bathroom. Basically, I'm scared and I just wanted to vent.

I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...
Well, look on the bright side.... if he does slit your throat, your family will have a nice law suit against the temp agency.
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:48 PM   #3
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

We used to have this strange cat in my office, he just looked very odd. He kinda had a Bill Parcells type of body, big butt, big gut, kinda pear shaped.

The biggest thing was he spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on the shitter. I swear he was in there 5-6 times per day making all sorts of horrible noises, grunts, groans, talking to himself, etc.

There was a rumor that he came to work one day with shit on his pants and people around him complained that he stunk. How the crap got there nobody knows, and I don't think anyone wanted to know.
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:49 PM   #4
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

hahahahaha

watch this it will explain everything:
YouTube - Dane Cook - Creepy Guy At Work
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

PC loadletter? What the f*ck does that mean??!
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:50 PM   #6
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...
Glad to hear that Hooskins ended up finding a temp job
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:51 PM   #7
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

We don't have a temp. We have a "Mac Specialist".

First off, being a Mac Specialist means you're probably just a little nuts anyway. This guy comes to us randomly from California, and leaves in a couple of days. He was here for far less than a year. He doesn't have a car, doesn't talk much and when he does it's saying how awesome Apple is.

His gut hangs out the bottom of all of his clothes that are always untucked. Honestly, I was always scared he'd come in to a meeting firing at us one day just because he seems so f-ing nuts.
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:52 PM   #8
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

We see so many crazy folks coming into the public area of the jail it's hard to keep track of them.

We have one guy who always comes by and pays us a visit when he's on his way to the mental health building. He comes to my window, beats on it and presses his face on the glass. Then he starts yelling, laughing, waving his arms and jumping around the lobby. He usually starts rambling about going to mental health and getting some cookies. Our corporal can usually get him to calm down and go away, but it's very entertaining when he stops by.
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:52 PM   #9
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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We used to have this strange cat in my office, he just looked very odd. He kinda had a Bill Parcells type of body, big butt, big gut, kinda pear shaped.

The biggest thing was he spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on the shitter. I swear he was in there 5-6 times per day making all sorts of horrible noises, grunts, groans, talking to himself, etc.

There was a rumor that he came to work one day with shit on his pants and people around him complained that he stunk. How the crap got there nobody knows, and I don't think anyone wanted to know.
I'm assuming he was old. What is it about old people that causes them to drop numerous deuces throughout the day. Not only that, they seem to have NO problem going with anyone in the bathroom. If it's me, I HAVE to have privacy. I guess it's a generational thing. I walk in and hear our technician grunting like he's giving birth.

Then you can't use the bathroom for a MINIMUM of two hours.
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:53 PM   #10
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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Originally Posted by dall-assblows View Post
hahahahaha

watch this it will explain everything:
YouTube - Dane Cook - Creepy Guy At Work
lol... that was a great link
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:53 PM   #11
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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Glad to hear that Hooskins ended up finding a temp job

Haha. I was thinking the same thing!!!
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:59 PM   #12
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

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I'm assuming he was old. What is it about old people that causes them to drop numerous deuces throughout the day. Not only that, they seem to have NO problem going with anyone in the bathroom. If it's me, I HAVE to have privacy. I guess it's a generational thing. I walk in and hear our technician grunting like he's giving birth.

Then you can't use the bathroom for a MINIMUM of two hours.
The guy looked about 30ish, but I guess he was in his 40s which made him even more weird. He lived alone with 2 cats, and he took a bus to work (I don't work in a major city with a lot of mass transit)... yes the weird factor continues to rise.
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:02 PM   #13
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

That sounds strikingly similar to the guy who devastates OUR bathroom. He LOVES trains, figure skating and is the most liberal conservative I've ever heard. He's SUPER racist, but also is ridiculously liberal.

Wears suspenders every day. Crazy dude.
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:03 PM   #14
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

Racist and liberal?

What a mess of a contradiction LOL
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:05 PM   #15
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Re: F... the creepy people at work

I know! Conversations with him are hilarious, yet never-ending. He's always going off on races and then he's like, "Man, I hate Bush."

Never been married either. He stares at me and my co-workers wives like they are pieces of meat. If you get him talking about younger women, you get TOTALLY freaked out.
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