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A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

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Old 03-03-2008, 09:08 PM   #1
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A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

SAVE ME

(Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?


(Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown

(Chorus 2 times)

So I ask you......................

What do you guys think?
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:09 PM   #2
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I know it might seem dark but its not and we are in the process of writing the music to it now.
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:30 PM   #3
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean.

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:33 PM   #4
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

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Originally Posted by DynamiteRave View Post
Of course I love it.

Rock band right? Any kinda of genre in particular? Alternative? Nu-Metal? Ya know what I mean.

Once you put it to music, I'll send you my email address, so you can be sure to send it to me.

Alternative we are doing that right now
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:36 PM   #5
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I am the bass player in this band in case anyone was wondering.
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:38 PM   #6
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:45 PM   #7
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

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Originally Posted by skinsguy View Post
I agree with DynamiteRave, it does sound like a metal tune. Would love to hear it with some music.

as soon as we finish that part i will put it up
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:50 PM   #8
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:52 PM   #9
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

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Originally Posted by GMScud View Post
I like it. I look forward to hearing it with music. What's the name of your band?

Empty Instrument
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:54 PM   #10
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

Quote:
Originally Posted by EARTHQUAKE2689 View Post
I am in a band and I just finished writing the lyrics to this song and needed some feedback:

SAVE ME

(Verse 1)
I cant believe from what I see,
This Life I live is killing me,
There is no secret I dont forgive and I dont forget,
You lied to me this tragedy
Society gives no sympathy
So I ask you..............

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?

(verse 2)
My walls are closing in,
Deeper and deeper I sink, Deeper and Deeper I sink
Why won't you let me inside
You can run but you can't hide,
You lock me up all the time,
So I ask you...........

(Chorus)
Who's gonna save me?
Lifetime of agony, no one to set me free,
Who's gonna save me?
Before my past destroys me
Who has the answers?


(Bridge)
I stand alone
on this dark and lonely road, looking off in the distance
As my past has shown,
I bare no resistance,
The beating sun gives no assistance,
As I wander through the unknown

(Chorus 2 times)

So I ask you......................


What do you guys think?
Sorry, I am so old, that if it isn't from Bill Haley and the Comets, I don't get it... that kid Elvis had some interesting stuff though :headbange
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:55 PM   #11
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:56 PM   #12
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

Quote:
Originally Posted by GMScud View Post
that's cool. Are you guys playing at any local Gainesville establishments?

No since I go home alot (like every other weekend) We are based in Charlotte not Gainesville
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Awesome isn't it.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:06 PM   #13
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

Cool man. When you get music attached to it, I'd love to hear it.
You got skilllllzzzz man!
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:13 PM   #14
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

I like songs that have something to say, and I think it does that. some of the best music EVER made is .....dark. I would love to see it.......or hear it when you get some of that EADGBE down.
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Old 03-04-2008, 04:13 PM   #15
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Re: A song I wrote Opinions appreciated

looks like nu-metal lyrics

i could seriously write and record the music for this in a day.

lyrics aren't bad, but there are an awful lot of other songs with the same general feel (like everything linkin park's ever written, etc).
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