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Post your cold remedies

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Old 09-08-2009, 06:26 PM   #31
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Re: Post your cold remedies

Drink a lot of water and I mean a lot. Before you sleep cut a potato in half and put them in your socks, cut side on your skin. This will suck out the sickness while you sleep.

Sleep as much as possible by drinking large amounts of Nyquill. Don't overdue it or you might wake up dead. In your waking hours, I suggest Southern Comfort or bong hits.

Get some Vicks vapor rub and smear it into your beard. I have a beard, so that's what I do. If not just cram a hefty amount into your nostrils. You can also smear a can of Icy Hot all over your body when you get out of the shower too. Avoid the genitals. Wash that sickness off of your body.

Oh yeah, don't go to work either. Sit around the house watching endless hours of television, napping, and cleaning. You have to wash the sickness out of your house too. Bleach works well on everything. This will also help your head to clear up.

Make sure you get a lot of sex, with a woman.

Eat a lot too. Mexican has a high content of fat, which studies have shown, fights sickness. Get the especial, which is basically one of everything. Eddy's Peanut Butter Swirl ice cream has all kinds of nutrients your body needs. Scoff that down too.

If you don't feel better after that you'll need a testosterone injection.
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Old 09-08-2009, 07:59 PM   #32
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Re: Post your cold remedies

Consume a phall curry, imbibe enough vodka to make walking difficult followed by a 64oz pitcher of iced water and then sleep.

OK, try to sleep.....


Phall recipe
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Old 09-08-2009, 09:59 PM   #33
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Re: Post your cold remedies

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz View Post
Damn you and your anti-sugar agenda!
Yeah, I can't really say that I follow this advice. The other day I went to the grocery store to get a dozen glazed donuts for breakfast for my kids. I wound up eating half the box myself.

That's okay though -- I won't have anymore donuts for at least 3 or 4 months.
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Old 09-08-2009, 10:00 PM   #34
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Re: Post your cold remedies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trample the Elderly View Post
Drink a lot of water and I mean a lot. Before you sleep cut a potato in half and put them in your socks, cut side on your skin. This will suck out the sickness while you sleep.

Sleep as much as possible by drinking large amounts of Nyquill. Don't overdue it or you might wake up dead. In your waking hours, I suggest Southern Comfort or bong hits.

Get some Vicks vapor rub and smear it into your beard. I have a beard, so that's what I do. If not just cram a hefty amount into your nostrils. You can also smear a can of Icy Hot all over your body when you get out of the shower too. Avoid the genitals. Wash that sickness off of your body.

Oh yeah, don't go to work either. Sit around the house watching endless hours of television, napping, and cleaning. You have to wash the sickness out of your house too. Bleach works well on everything. This will also help your head to clear up.

Make sure you get a lot of sex, with a woman.

Eat a lot too. Mexican has a high content of fat, which studies have shown, fights sickness. Get the especial, which is basically one of everything. Eddy's Peanut Butter Swirl ice cream has all kinds of nutrients your body needs. Scoff that down too.

If you don't feel better after that you'll need a testosterone injection.
Dude, this was so funny it brought me to tears.
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Old 09-08-2009, 10:08 PM   #35
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Re: Post your cold remedies




+

vitamin c

+

lozenges with menthol and zinc
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Old 09-09-2009, 02:03 PM   #36
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Re: Post your cold remedies

Newsarse - I Told You I Was Sick....

Men really do have an excuse for suffering terribly with so-called ‘minor’ coughs and colds - their immune systems are not as strong as women’s, research suggests.

A Canadian study indicates that the female sex hormone oestrogen not only makes them weepy and overly emotional, it also gives women’s immune systems added bite when it comes to fighting off infection.

“I fucking KNEW it,” said one man-flu sufferer this morning.

“You wait till she hears about this. My genuine suffering is now certified by the whole of science!”

With man-flu now a fully fledged scientific and medical fact, the number of sufferers previously diagnosed as malingering hypochondriacs is expected to rise significantly.
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