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Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Old 04-22-2008, 11:27 PM   #1
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Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Due to popular request (ie Lady Brave mentioned it but GM Scud helped validate it as a hilarious piece) of making sure this anicdote doesn't get lost in the Supper Happy Fun Thread, I have decided to give the Emmitt Smith Mock Draft it's own thread. Personally it's one of the funniest things I've read, and I've had a hard time reading it all in one sitting.

WalterFootball.com: Emmitt Smith's 2008 NFL Mock Draft

And with the first pick Emmitt Smith selects:

Miami Dolphins: Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College University
In the 2007 regular season, the Miami Dolphin became the first winless team to ever win a game in a regular season. Why did this happen, you ask? No talent in and around the locker room. You have Clyde Lemon at quarterback. You have Ronnie Brown at running back. He had been banged up. And you have Chris Chambers at receiver. He was sent sailin to San Francisco, or the Windy City, so to speak.

But Miami have a new sheriff in town. Parcells, or as some people like to call him, "The Big Dolphin." If you look at Parcells' history, he likes to grab quarterback with the first overall pick. He draft Drew Bledsoe in New England. He draft Vinny Testaverde with the New York. And now he will draft Matt Ryan from Boston College University.

Anyway this thread is dedicated to some of my favorite people on the forum:

ThisGuy, SmootSlap, SlinginSonny33, and Landslide2689

Thanks with your help on the MockDraft.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:00 AM   #2
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

I don't watch ESPN so I'm not really familiar with the genius of Emmitt. Is he really that bad?

Read the anthology too. Too funny.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:02 AM   #3
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Brave View Post
I don't watch ESPN so I'm not really familiar with the genius of Emmitt. Is he really that bad?

Read the anthology too. Too funny.
You don't watch ESPN?!!!! A pox on ye

He's sooo bad

Sincerely,

SmootSlap
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:11 AM   #4
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
You don't watch ESPN?!!!! A pox on ye

He's sooo bad

Sincerely,

SmootSlap
Nothing against ESPN. I hardly watch television at all anymore. So kindly remove the pox Sir SmootSlap.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:13 AM   #5
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Originally Posted by Lady Brave View Post
Nothing against ESPN. I hardly watch television at all anymore. So kindly remove the pox Sir SmootSlap.
You don't watch TV? What in the world do you do??
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:16 AM   #6
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
You don't watch TV? What in the world do you do??
I surfs the interwebs.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:21 AM   #7
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Brave View Post
I surfs the interwebs.
ESPN.com, ESPNTV.com, ESPNDeportes.com, ESPN360.com, things like that? I hear ya
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:23 AM   #8
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Oh my f'ing God. Is that a joke? How does hell dids that dood ever gradjewait from de kidnergarden?
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:27 AM   #9
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Doesn't anyone screen this stuff before it goes online??
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:29 AM   #10
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
ESPN.com, ESPNTV.com, ESPNDeportes.com, ESPN360.com, things like that? I hear ya
Exactly. You know me so well.

Seriously, I belong to too many message boards. I need an intervention.

But you're one to talk. You're ALWAYS here, even when you're not. You must post in your sleep. How do you have time to watch TV? Hmmm....?
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:31 AM   #11
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

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Originally Posted by Mattyk72 View Post
Doesn't anyone screen this stuff before it goes online??
Hey Matty. You feelin OK? Just checkin since you said you were gonna puke if you see another mock.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:32 AM   #12
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheriff Gonna Getcha View Post
Oh my f'ing God. Is that a joke? How does hell dids that dood ever gradjewait from de kidnergarden?
The anthology is sadly all stuff he's actually said.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:34 AM   #13
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Brave View Post
Exactly. You know me so well.

Seriously, I belong to too many message boards. I need an intervention.

But you're one to talk. You're ALWAYS here, even when you're not. You must post in your sleep. How do you have time to watch TV? Hmmm....?
I multi-task.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:48 AM   #14
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

I almost pooped myself laughing. Copare the anthology and the fake mock. You really can't tell much of a difference. He is actually awful. Not awful like most athletes when they make dumb points or just obvious points. Or when they sound stilted. No no. Emmitt takes it to another level. He butchers English at the highest levels all the while struggling to get his thoughts out in any coherent fashion. At this point ESPN can only be keeping him on in the spirit of Bengaling him. You know Bengaling-keeping a guy just for spite much to your own detriment.
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Old 04-23-2008, 01:17 AM   #15
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Re: Emmitt Smith Mock Draft

I don't know if this will work but I'm going to post a link

MEGAVIDEO - I'm watchin' it
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