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Old 10-27-2008, 12:14 PM   #1
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Random Thoughts

Just post some random thoughts, here's a few of mine
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I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist and reality sucks

For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, does that mean eventually I'm gonna sprout wings and be able to crap on some birds car?

If my girlfriend doesn't hear me say something stupid does that give her the right to still be mad at me?

I bought a cake that said happy 10th birthday, not because it was my birthday but because I knew there'd a be ten year old without a cake now, HA HA HA, bow to my evilness.

I'd like to take a moment to thank my dogs for allowing me to live in there house.

I often think that maybe I should write my memoirs, it might make an interesting read but I'm having a hard time choosing a title, Sincere Asshole or Caring Prick, which do u prefer??

Drugs are bad, for your wallet.

I'd work for the government but I prefer contributing to society

I wanna have my tonsils taken out, not because they need to be but because I'm bored.

I used to drink alot cuz I thought I hated life, actually I just hated my ex.

I've been thinking of opening a video game store/titty bar, dorks who can't get laid and lap dances, I'm gonna be rich.


I love waking up, solely for the purpose of going back to sleep

Cigarettes are unhealthy but so damn tasty

Sobriety is like puberty, well minus the pubic hair, wet dreams and voice changing, actually sobriety is nothing like puberty.

I love it when you tell someone "I was born in Maryland" and there response "So you're from there?" umm, actually no I'm not, even though I was born in a house in Maryland I'm from Montana.

Marriage is like prostitution, just less sex and more expensive

They say that when two people get married it's a glorious occasion, and it is, for the divorce attorneys waiting for business.

If I were a squirrel I think I'd just raid bird feeders like the bastard squirrel that raids mine, lazy prick.

I have a woodpecker that eats out the birdfeeder, now correct me if I'm wrong but aren't woodpeckers supposed to "peck" for there food?? Oh I forgot this is a special breed, the government assistance welfare woodpecker.

If I crap myself and no ones around to see it, am I still embarassed?

My parents are good natured loving people, this is how I know I'm adopted, cuz I'm a dick.

If everytime I farted a kitten died, there'd be no cats.

There's only one time I could ever root for the Cowboys, and thats if they were playing against Satan himself, and even then it'd be a struggle. FUCK DALLAS!

I read that certain turtles when they mate, the male sprays his semen on a rock and the female rubs in it. If I were a male turtle,I'd find a pointy rock so that bitch knows whose boss.

Going to a casino is much like going to a titty bar, you go there with great expectations of fulfillment but leave unsatisfied and broke.

Why does everything that tastes so good cause massive gas?

I had a lady yesterday tell me I should quit smoking or I might die young, I told her yeah but no matter what you do you'll die ugly.

When I first started potty training my puppy I figured it'd be a good idea to show him how it works and squat a loaf in my yard, my neighbors didn't find that idea so good.

If Zombies eat brains why are they so stupid?

Sometimes fashion trends comeback, I sure to hell hope the 80's bush never returns, ugh.

There's like 15 million porno sites, theres 300 million people in the states, that means that 1 out of every 20 people you meet has starred in porn, I need to wash my hands more often.





These are from a blog of mine, so thats why there's so many, add your own
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Old 10-27-2008, 01:04 PM   #2
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Re: Random Thoughts

http://www.thewarpath.net/parking-lo...ghlight=random (Random Thoughts)

Who'd have thought we'd have two of these in the parking lot?
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Old 10-27-2008, 01:10 PM   #3
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
http://www.thewarpath.net/parking-lo...ghlight=random (Random Thoughts)

Who'd have thought we'd have two of these in the parking lot?
of course that thread you posted involves telling a substantive story, where as even though the titles might be similar, low and behold the idea behind them is not
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Old 10-27-2008, 01:44 PM   #4
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Re: Random Thoughts

There's not much of a point to this thread is there? And I guess that's sort of the point right? If I were to guess this is some subtle viral marketing for this blog of yours you speak of
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Old 10-27-2008, 03:06 PM   #5
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Re: Random Thoughts

Actually not at all, I just don't want someone thinking I ripped this off someone else's site or postings. My blog is a joke I do for all of about 4 friends of mine, notice there is no posted link and never will be. I was actually looking to encourage some very goofy thoughts from people. Laughter is good for the soul.
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Old 10-28-2008, 01:32 AM   #6
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Re: Random Thoughts

I have a couple random thoughts.

So you know what I hate? People who steal decals off cars. I work in retail and Saturday night my 8x8 Redskins magnet decal was stolen off the side of my car while I was inside working. :/ I figure it had to be another Redskins fan that stole it, I mean I'm just disappointed because I kinda hoped people wouldn't be that petty.

And I also hate assholes at work. I got yelled at by a lady because there was a sidecap in the food section of my job, and the pricetag on the strip said the boxes of Cheerios were 2.99. But this lady didn't trust the price so she took it to a price scanner a couple isles down, then noticed it was actually priced at 3.09. So then she took it upon herself to yell at me for having the wrong pricetag up even though the f'n difference was 10 cents. I mean ffs, just because I work in retail isn't an excuse to try and walk all over me. I wanted to tell that lady off so bad, but luckily for her I value my job more than telling some a-hole off.

It's bad days like that that make me realize how I don't want to work in retail for a long time. I have 30 year old friends that come to work and every single day they are burnt out, and it just amazes me because even though I like and respect them I don't want to be working in retail 10 years from now. Just goes to show just how important going to college really is.

Last edited by mooby; 10-28-2008 at 01:46 AM.
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:11 AM   #7
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Re: Random Thoughts

yawn.....
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:26 AM   #8
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Re: Random Thoughts

If I ignore the poster will he shut up faster, or will he shut up faster if I tell him to... "SHUT UP!"?
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:52 AM   #9
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Re: Random Thoughts

hey angry, time to change the bottom line
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:46 AM   #10
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mooby View Post
I have a couple random thoughts.

So you know what I hate? People who steal decals off cars. I work in retail and Saturday night my 8x8 Redskins magnet decal was stolen off the side of my car while I was inside working. :/ I figure it had to be another Redskins fan that stole it, I mean I'm just disappointed because I kinda hoped people wouldn't be that petty.

And I also hate assholes at work. I got yelled at by a lady because there was a sidecap in the food section of my job, and the pricetag on the strip said the boxes of Cheerios were 2.99. But this lady didn't trust the price so she took it to a price scanner a couple isles down, then noticed it was actually priced at 3.09. So then she took it upon herself to yell at me for having the wrong pricetag up even though the f'n difference was 10 cents. I mean ffs, just because I work in retail isn't an excuse to try and walk all over me. I wanted to tell that lady off so bad, but luckily for her I value my job more than telling some a-hole off.

It's bad days like that that make me realize how I don't want to work in retail for a long time. I have 30 year old friends that come to work and every single day they are burnt out, and it just amazes me because even though I like and respect them I don't want to be working in retail 10 years from now. Just goes to show just how important going to college really is.
Working in retail is real bitch thanks to the insane customers. I honestly don't know how people make careers in retail. I would kill myself.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:03 AM   #11
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Re: Random Thoughts

If you point out that an entire list of jokes that are trying so incredibly hard to be edgy, bitter and cynical completely failed to land, does it help Angry make the poster shut up and go away?

Seriously, didn't crack a smile at one of those. What's the point of this? To prove how sarcastic you are?

Let me guess, you have a reputation amongst your circle of friends as "the funny one" who always has a sarcastic, cynical one-liner to deliver and it really kills with the four guys you hang out with on the weekend.

Awful list of "random thoughts," I mean really...just awful.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:36 AM   #12
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mheisig View Post
If you point out that an entire list of jokes that are trying so incredibly hard to be edgy, bitter and cynical completely failed to land, does it help Angry make the poster shut up and go away?

Seriously, didn't crack a smile at one of those. What's the point of this? To prove how sarcastic you are?

Let me guess, you have a reputation amongst your circle of friends as "the funny one" who always has a sarcastic, cynical one-liner to deliver and it really kills with the four guys you hang out with on the weekend.

Awful list of "random thoughts," I mean really...just awful.
Agreed - a sad collection of unfunny, not very thoughtful (or thought provokng) statements. Just 'cause you thought it doesn't mean it's intelligent. In this case, it's more mental diarreahea than anything else.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:37 AM   #13
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Re: Random Thoughts

^^^ No the point of this thread was to prove how big a dick you are. Why not post something you find humerous or is it you're just a bitter soul. Flex those internet muscles tough guy, flex em big, flex em hard.



Mooby, retail is not an easy gig at all and I must admit the attitudes the further north you go get worse when it comes to this. I went back to MD to visit my grandparents last year and watched a lady flip out on the cashier for roughly the same scenario you explained. I rarely if ever see that down here in Florida. I think it's got something to do with the weather.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:38 AM   #14
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Re: Random Thoughts

people will steal anything in fresno.they stole the american flag off my moms car.there are so many people on welfare that the local team is called the fresno foodstamps!
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:47 AM   #15
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Re: Random Thoughts

you go into the grocery store in fresno on welfare day which is very hard to miss since it is on the 1st the 5th the 10th the 15th 20th 25th and again on the first.The welfare people consider this there job to go outside and shop for groceries on there given welfare day since the stores dont deliver.You can tell who they are by all the great stuff thay have crammed into the 2 carts they are pushing and by the fact that they are all wearing sweats and flip flops and have 5 little ninos
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