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advice needed...

Parking Lot


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Old 02-13-2009, 04:53 PM   #76
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Re: advice needed...

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Originally Posted by over the mountain View Post
i read the first page and the last, sorry if i speak out of turn or cover old ground.

1) most family law attorneys will tell you from the get go: "the only person who wins in divorce proceedings are the attorneys". ive clerked for judges and seen 10 plus year old divorce cases repeatedly come back into court for one thing or another, especially around the holidays with kids involved.

2) apply at the san diego post office, they are always hiring b/c not too many san diegans can pass the drug screening b/c most people out there are potheads!! 55k/yr plus 2 weeks paid vacation, gov't pension (maybe). my friend was a mail carrier, he would wake up around 6ish, pick up his mail, walk around in sunny san diego in his shorts listening to his ipod delivering mail, then be off by 3-4 o'clock. i honestly am thinking of abandoning my law career in maryland and returing to san diego to apply as a mail carrier.

3) either live in North Park or one of those areas where the rent is lower/reasonable b/c all the surfer trust fund kids think it is ghetto. its really not, it is quite nice if youve lived on the east coast and experienced the real ghettos. i compare it to silver spring. the occassional gun shots or police heli flying low announcing they are looking for an armed robber on your street is about the only embarrasing thing that can happen if you have guests over. and it is embarrassing.

4) there are so many apartment/comdo complexs in SD that there are always a ton of part time employment positions as an apartment manager. you get free or greatly reduced rent and still have your days to work a regular job, you just have to collect rent and interact with the maintenance poeple.

5) trust your emotions and feelings. once you start suspecting things from your girl (and vice versa i assume) it is hard to quiet those doubts. i am in a kinda similar situation as well where i question whether my current girl is with me for me or the idea of me. i decided im not gonna dwell on some negative with no proof, rather enjoy the moments together and if it aint meant to be then it will end eventually.
That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.
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Old 02-13-2009, 05:03 PM   #77
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Re: advice needed...

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I have to take the chance, even if it doesn't work out, at least I took the chance.
Understood

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No...I never once strayed. I don't really know how or why that happened, but I don't think I was holding out hope Julia would come back. I am ecstatic she did though. I think I was just going to stick it out no matter what cause I took the vows, but never thought Julia would enter back into the equasion. I really can't give you a definite on that one...life is wierd that way.
You know another angle to all of this, and I don't even know if this was ever really on your mind, maybe your now ex-wife was going through the motions with you and is glad to be able to get on with a life without you. Not to be harsh, but I think you get my point

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I'd purposely schedule myself to work consecutive days, then have 4-5 day weekends every other weekend, then I'd either drive or fly to S.D. Since I am the boss, I make my own schedule.
Can't believe no one on either side found that suspicious. How long have you been doing this for?


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Can't blame you . Jamf's allure is intoxicating...in a Boone's sort of way
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Old 02-13-2009, 07:12 PM   #78
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Re: advice needed...

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jsarno, just wondering about this

http://www.thewarpath.net/526429-post41.html (advice needed...)

I'm curious to know (not so much the part about jamf , )
The Redskins play in SD next year!

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Old 02-13-2009, 08:26 PM   #79
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Re: advice needed...

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That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.
Considering all you've shared already, I can't begin to imagine what you'd leave out.

But I understand
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Old 02-13-2009, 08:35 PM   #80
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Re: advice needed...

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Can't blame you . Jamf's allure is intoxicating...in a Boone's sort of way
LMAO! I have some great (albeit fuzzy) memories courtesy of Boone's.
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:15 AM   #81
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Re: advice needed...

I wonder how the cruise is going?
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:24 AM   #82
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Re: advice needed...

Perhaps J can check in with an update? It's a long..........offseason!
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:45 AM   #83
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Re: advice needed...

I sadly think we will never get closure on this one.
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:46 AM   #84
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Re: advice needed...

I think I know what happened:

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Old 02-25-2009, 10:49 AM   #85
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Re: advice needed...

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I think I know what happened:

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Old 03-02-2009, 11:03 AM   #86
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Re: advice needed...

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I wonder how the cruise is going?
It went great...had a great time. Just got back yesterday. Can't believe how big we've spent in FA. Thought we didn't have much room to mess with, but I was wrong.

After we got back, Julia's husband is refusing to let her go...said won't sign divorce papers etc. Can he actually do that? In NM, after a certain time frame, it becomes a divorce by default, in CA I am not so sure. How is this in other states? Does anyone know?
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:53 PM   #87
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Re: advice needed...

There are easy D's and Hard D's (the kind that cause problems.....forever). I think you can guess which kind this is shaping up to be........plus custody
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Old 03-03-2009, 02:31 AM   #88
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Re: advice needed...

He just today said he will let her go, but under conditions...he wants to move back to his home town (across the country), and he wants 50/50 custody. I find this to be a tad bit of blackmail.
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Old 03-03-2009, 06:09 AM   #89
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Re: advice needed...

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It went great...had a great time. Just got back yesterday. Can't believe how big we've spent in FA. Thought we didn't have much room to mess with, but I was wrong.

After we got back, Julia's husband is refusing to let her go...said won't sign divorce papers etc. Can he actually do that? In NM, after a certain time frame, it becomes a divorce by default, in CA I am not so sure. How is this in other states? Does anyone know?
Just one quick question. Did Julia go with you?
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Old 03-03-2009, 10:34 AM   #90
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Re: advice needed...

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He just today said he will let her go, but under conditions...he wants to move back to his home town (across the country), and he wants 50/50 custody. I find this to be a tad bit of blackmail.
It's really a negotiation kind of thing....but it feels Blackmaily. Each side tries to cut the best deal. Be careful who pays transportation to and from the opposite coast......how many times a year.
AND.....First is right....keep the kids out of it as much as possible
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