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Old 08-24-2009, 02:41 PM   #1
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Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts of the Day:
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
22. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
41. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
42. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
43. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
44. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
45. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
46. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
47. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
48. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
49. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
50. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
51. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
52. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
53. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
54. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
55. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
56. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
57. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
58. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
59. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
60. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.
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Old 08-24-2009, 03:45 PM   #2
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Re: Random Thoughts

1. Are the people writing death threats to officials, players, and coaches also taking the time to write the same threats to people on death row?

2. You loose a lot strength when you don't exercise for three weeks especially when you spend one of those weeks drinking nothing but smoothies.

3. I think cute girls are more attractive then hot girls.

4. Japanese media does an excellent job of telling stories while we here in America seem to focus on making our characters look to cool for school.

5. In about as little as 100 years kids will be taking calculus before they turn 10. The special-ed kids will take pre-calulus.

6. How can their be more links in your brain then atoms in the universe? Aren't the links made up of atoms?

7. I really wish they would make more sitcoms.

8. The Redskins will run a 4-3 defense with 3-4 personel. ie 3 big men inside (Haynesworth, Griffin, Daniels), two outside rushers (Orakpo and Carter), and 2 traditional linebackers (Fletcher and McIntosh).

9. I miss playing football but I really should have played hockey when I was in high school. I probably would have been much better at it.

10. The GI Joe movie seems to be about 15 years to late.

11. Long Term commitment scares the daylights out of me but I think that sleeping around scares me more.
11a. I am not getting married a day before 30.
11b. and no kids.

12. People need to stop investing in all these huge systems with way to much base and instead invest in a nice pair of headphones.

13. I think Adam Carolla was right. The dumbest people usually are the loudest.

14. I hate Digg.com. It never seems to take me to the story featured in the link.

15. We're going to be learning Chinese one of these days.

16. Our school system needs to do a better job of teaching our kids a second language.

17. For some reason Alizee isn't nearly as hot as she use to be. Don't get me wrong she's still very attractive but at the same time something seems to be missing.

18. How come women complain all the time about child birth but then you see all these match.com profiles with the question 'want kids?' and 99 times out of 100 the answer is definitely. Shouldn't there at least be a touch of uncertainty.

19. The hot girl that wore a thong to Easter Mass and sat in front of my family during 2002 is something that makes me laugh to this day. Especially considering that my parents, who are usually very reserved when it comes to things like this, couldn't help but laugh.

20. Resident Evil Extinction was the worst movie I ever saw. In fact it was so bad that I just wanted to go to the ticket counter and ask if they could transfer the money I spent on Extinction to another movie. I didn't even have to see the movie that they transferred it to, all I wanted to do was make sure that that monstrosity of a movie didn't get any money from me.

21. How do you make 3 horrible movies (Resident Evil) and then get signed on to make a fourth one. I swear I wish I had a job with that type of security.

22. Apparently a goldfish turns white if you leave it in the dark long enough. I still want to try that.

23. There are more atoms in a penny then stars in the universe.

24. I say 'good deal' way to much.

25. My brother used to always say "I'll be right back." Eventually we caught on to the fact that he was lying.

26. Why is the American Public so resistant to movies with subtitles?

27. Why do people riding bikes always seem to stop at a traffic light? To me that seems pretty cocky.

28. Every girl I've ever been attracted to on a dating site always seems to own a damn cat.
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Last edited by Dirtbag59; 08-24-2009 at 04:25 PM.
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Old 08-24-2009, 04:11 PM   #3
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Re: Random Thoughts

I like to think about old girlfriends, but then I start to wonder do they really give a rat's a$$ about me and would deny even knowing me now if someone asked them.

My favorite phrase used to be, "Oh call back yesterday; Bid time return," but just like the above, who else really cares that I was ever in their lives?

Maybe the fact that the Redskins had Jurgensen, Theismann, Williams, and Rypien is the reason I'm so hard on JC.

Plus the Redskins had the Hogs, and now the offensive line is sruggling (except in the last game), and I'm thinking that we should score points like we used to.

It's easier to criticize than to praise someone.
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Old 08-24-2009, 07:22 PM   #4
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Re: Random Thoughts

I get extremely frustrated when the Washington Post devotes like 15-20 front pages out of the year to fucking pandas. They are the worst animals. They should be extinct, because they suck at evolution. We're saving them because their cute.

I mean, I'm all for saving animals from extinction, but like... really lets not be prejudice against the ugly ones.

I seriously want to start a "Save the ugly ass animals" foundation. Just saying.
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Old 08-24-2009, 07:49 PM   #5
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Re: Random Thoughts

what would a mindless unbiased drone be like?

would it stare off into space forever?

would that be better than reading 30 posts from a mindless biased drone?

could politics ever truly be civil?

could politicians?

if you number your random thoughts, are they really random anymore?
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Old 08-24-2009, 08:37 PM   #6
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobH4413 View Post
I seriously want to start a "Save the ugly ass animals" foundation. Just saying.
The relevant part starts at 9:00.

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Old 08-25-2009, 04:18 AM   #7
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Re: Random Thoughts

you mofos think too much
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:54 AM   #8
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Re: Random Thoughts

hmm..well, only one thing on my mind right now...when will my duty hours end! I wanna go home!
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:05 AM   #9
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Re: Random Thoughts

How is it that while i'm at work, Im ready to fall asleep at any minute but when I get home and get ready for bed it takes an hour to fall asleep?
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:11 AM   #10
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Re: Random Thoughts

Why in the hell do McDonalds employees bother to ask me If I want any sauce for my nuggets? You dipshits never remember to put it in the bag anyway.
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:42 AM   #11
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Re: Random Thoughts

My boss really likes the word "we". Im not sure he knows the meaning though.
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:50 AM   #12
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by gibbsisgod View Post
How is it that while i'm at work, Im ready to fall asleep at any minute but when I get home and get ready for bed it takes an hour to fall asleep?
this is absolutely true!
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Old 08-25-2009, 07:15 AM   #13
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Re: Random Thoughts

Why do my parents give my children EVERYTHING they want when we visit them? I'm talking cookies, chocolate milk, candies. You know, all the stuff I was never able to have when I was a child. I keep telling my kids these are not the same people I grew up with.
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:33 AM   #14
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Re: Random Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by gibbsisgod View Post
Why in the hell do McDonalds employees bother to ask me If I want any sauce for my nuggets? You dipshits never remember to put it in the bag anyway.
You expect service with that 99-cent meal?
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Old 08-25-2009, 01:06 PM   #15
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Re: Random Thoughts

wives that spend all my money all my money at the casino and then charge 30grand on credit cards then call me the asshole for complaining about it!THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK.stay single alone is soooo much better than broke and destitute
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