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F...People that take the middle urinal

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Old 09-25-2009, 12:41 PM   #121
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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........ unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.
Thats some funny sh** right there.
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:44 PM   #122
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

Anyone notice the "Ads By Google" underneath the banner on this thread? Toilet Partition Hardware, Gene's Johns, Handwashing Done Right...

LOL
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:54 PM   #123
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe!
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:59 PM   #124
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe!
You've got to be joking. I guess I need to give up my man card. Not. IMO it's not manly to sit on a nasty toilet seat in a public restroom where only God knows what kind of filth is festering. It's stupid actually. If you like putting your bare ass/legs on something that has other men's fecal matter, piss, and whatever else lingering on it... well...

I can deal with dropping a deuce in a public restroom, but I'm damn sure gonna make sure there is a layer between me and that seat.
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Old 09-25-2009, 01:54 PM   #125
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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Nothing to do with being too sensitive... I just rarely find myself in a spot where I just have to go and can't wait until I'm at home.

I just prefer to go in the comfort of my own home. Plus, not a fan of walking around with swamp ass. Unless you have some wet wipes with you, you cannot get totally cleaned up back there. Well, unless you pinch off what I call an "immaculate". You know... one of those miracle craps where you wipe and there's nothing there. God I love those.
Yeah I gotta go with Matty. It's not so much that you shouldn't take a Gangsta when you need to just the respect that you show ( or that I don't show ) those that happen to be there too. Take a deuce if you have to, but there is something to be said about certain users of the toilets. Matty you're on to something though. The quality of toilet paper at public bathrooms is just ridiculous. I mean am I usung toilet paper or freaking construction paper ? Man but the miracle craps (Ninja Craps as I like to call them) are the best. But if you have one of those soft kinda ones and it takes you almost a whole roll of the cheap stuff to wipe. And then, how come the rolls are always too big for the dispenser ? I mean come on, I just finished dropping one and now I have to have the hands of an infant because my man hands will break the roll after 2 1/2 squares !
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Old 09-25-2009, 01:56 PM   #126
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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I agree with OTM as well. Just take a crap who cares everyone does it. Also, a lot of you guys better not end up in jail or boot camp because you will be in a whole lot of hurt trying to hold in your poop there.

Also who here use the paper "guard", toliet seat cover, or worst makes one out of TP on the seat? If you use that your man card should be taken away! Seriously are you afraid your little boom boom is going to get yucky germs, awe!
I use the paper guard when I'm at a public restroom and I do make them with toilet paper unless I'm in a Code Brown situation. Then and only then do I just hope I don't walk away with crabs.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:02 PM   #127
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

Dammit, must have jinxed myself with my last post. After lunch today I felt a rumble and that rumble quickly turned into a roar. I knew that cup of coffee after lunch was a mistake. Proud to say I managed to pull off a near immaculate. Not perfect but pretty darn close. Still, I feel slightly abused right now.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:17 PM   #128
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

Yeah I have a Steak and cheese, some salt and vinegar chips working right now. Trying to see if I can make it home but I don't leave work til 4:15 so I might be going to my creep bathroom in about 30 after they clean the bathrooms. That almost guarantees me the bathroom to myself.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:18 PM   #129
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

For the record you can't catch anything from a toliet seat by simply seating on it.

I know you can't catch AIDS from a toilet seat. What can you catch? - The Boston Globe


Maybe we should install a max pad dispenser next to the toliet seat covers for all the "girls" in the mens room.

Grow a pair and just sit on the damn seat!
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:40 PM   #130
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

ive put a lot of thought onto this. first off, i piss at whatever urinal that is available. i don't count, or look for proper etiquette. if your not peeking, whats the big deal? and as far as #2, if i have to go, i go. now i might try to find a nicer bath room. but holding it until im home? yeah, that's a disaster waiting to happen. for the most part, im with mredskins on this one
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:06 PM   #131
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

^ Thanks follow public crapper!

Seriously it is one thing to hold in a piss, a crap is whole diffrent story. Couple weeks ago I was watching my son at my in-laws by myself, wife and MIL went shopping, so I feel the urge come on but there is no where safe to leave my kid (18 mths) when I am in there. I proceed to try to hold it untli they come back after about .5 hour I was doubled over in pain dragging myself in the bathroom with my son to release this demon from my bowels. My poor son had to play in the tub while I peeled the paint off the walls.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:14 PM   #132
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
For the record you can't catch anything from a toliet seat by simply seating on it.

I know you can't catch AIDS from a toilet seat. What can you catch? - The Boston Globe


Maybe we should install a max pad dispenser next to the toliet seat covers for all the "girls" in the mens room.

Grow a pair and just sit on the damn seat!
It's got nothing to do with catching anything. It has to do with not wanting to sit on another man's excrement. That's foul.

And if you're doubled over in pain from holding a deuce for half an hour, you may want to see a doctor.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:30 PM   #133
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

^ I am in no way anal retentive, anal explosive is more like it. So my muscles are not geared like you private poopers.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:37 PM   #134
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

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Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
^ Thanks follow public crapper!

Seriously it is one thing to hold in a piss, a crap is whole diffrent story. Couple weeks ago I was watching my son at my in-laws by myself, wife and MIL went shopping, so I feel the urge come on but there is no where safe to leave my kid (18 mths) when I am in there. I proceed to try to hold it untli they come back after about .5 hour I was doubled over in pain dragging myself in the bathroom with my son to release this demon from my bowels. My poor son had to play in the tub while I peeled the paint off the walls.
LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.

It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.
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Old 09-25-2009, 04:30 PM   #135
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Re: F...People that take the middle urinal

One thing about small children, its amazing how much your tolerance for excrement increases. Seriously, kids crap where ever, when ever and require you to deal with it and sometimes to do the same.

Some simple rules:
- if stank bothers you to the point you must alter your habits, have no children;
- if concern that others will notice the smell of sh** that is in some way attributable to you, have no children;
- if discussing sh** while in a public toilet bothers you, have no children;
- if crapping in front of others bothers you, have no children;
- if not having enough paper products to clean up after an explosive crap bothers you, have no children;
- if sh** in places other than places designated for said sh** bothers you, have no children.

All of these things, and more, will happen to you with small children. Kinda goes back to my "sh** happens" rant.
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