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F...people who tell you how to parent

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Old 02-17-2010, 12:44 PM   #31
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

We have been over this spanking thing before on this site. I gladly and without hesitation spank my kids when the other methods have failed. Spanking never fails and brings them back in line when they are trying to test the boundaries.
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Old 02-17-2010, 12:59 PM   #32
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

^^^ The key part of that is "when the other methods have failed". My 4 year old has been spanked on the rare occasions that he simply can't get it together. Timeouts work with him much more often than not (93.787% to be exact), as well as taking toys away. My sister told me she tried using timeouts for her kids but it doesn't work. I asked where is their timeout location. She replies, "In their room."....oooooooookay.
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:15 PM   #33
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

jamf, that chart was ridiculously funny, I can't stop laughing whenever I see it.
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:19 PM   #34
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Originally Posted by 724Skinsfan View Post
^^^ The key part of that is "when the other methods have failed". My 4 year old has been spanked on the rare occasions that he simply can't get it together. Timeouts work with him much more often than not (93.787% to be exact), as well as taking toys away. My sister told me she tried using timeouts for her kids but it doesn't work. I asked where is their timeout location. She replies, "In their room."....oooooooookay.
You have to make the timeout location uncomfortable, like restricting them to a single step on the stairs, under the deck or in the trunk of a car.

(not entirely serious)
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:22 PM   #35
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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In general I think people should mind their own business more often.
DING DING DING Best answer folks
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:27 PM   #36
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Not to be rude SolidSnake but if you don't currently have children most of us with children are not going to hold a lot of weight to your opinions. Basically yon need to join the club before you get an opinion, at least in my book.
So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:30 PM   #37
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Dont take what i said literally...i just mean a spanking in general. When i was little, my mother would whip me with a wooden spoon...a couple good whacks...

I think it should be saved as a last resort....after "talking" and time outs dont work anymore....i think its a "to each their own" situation with parenting. I've noticed that most parents tell me that they raise their children how they were raised (keep in mind these are normal people...not drunks or child abusers)
I got the old wooden spoon a few times too. LOL.

Never went the wooden spoon route with my son though. He got spankings once in a while. He's getting big now (16), but I'm pretty sure the old man could still lay a spanking on him if need be.
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:32 PM   #38
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

I don't have kids. I was spanked as a kid. I still get a little "ass tingle" going when I think of doing something wrong. lol. I think the parent's demeanor plays a huge role. I remember as a child, if I was acting up, my dad would say "keep it up and you're getting it when we get home." Sure enough, upon arrival, it would be "touch the bottom of the stairs" and get a couple whacks with the belt. No bruising, bleeding, nothing excessive, just calm and measured discipline. Worked like a charm. And the belt was an object of intimidation, didn't actually hurt any worse than the hand. But the fact that he was "holding that evil belt" made it that much worse... I'm cracking up thinking about it. Best part with him was that once you crossed that line and he told you it was coming, you could bet your life on it, no matter how nice you tried to be on the way home...
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Old 02-17-2010, 01:42 PM   #39
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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I don't have kids. I was spanked as a kid. I still get a little "ass tingle" going when I think of doing something wrong. lol. I think the parent's demeanor plays a huge role. I remember as a child, if I was acting up, my dad would say "keep it up and you're getting it when we get home." Sure enough, upon arrival, it would be "touch the bottom of the stairs" and get a couple whacks with the belt. No bruising, bleeding, nothing excessive, just calm and measured discipline. Worked like a charm. And the belt was an object of intimidation, didn't actually hurt any worse than the hand. But the fact that he was "holding that evil belt" made it that much worse... I'm cracking up thinking about it. Best part with him was that once you crossed that line and he told you it was coming, you could bet your life on it, no matter how nice you tried to be on the way home...
That's a really good point, my folks always gave me and my sister plenty of warning before we "got it". My wife and I did the same with our son.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:00 PM   #40
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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I am so tired of random people giving me parenting advice. Just because you have a small child with you doesn't give others a licenses to open their mouths about how to raise the child. God gave me this one to raise go raise yours or make one of your own, get off my back.


It is worst at work. Yesterday we had a business lunch and I offered to drive some folks. Of course Miss Laid Back Mommy of the year had to come along. She noticed my son's (2 years old) car seat is still facing backwards. Her exact words"OMG that poor child, you must turn that seat around don't be so up tight." I just rolled my eyes and choice to ignore her. It is actually the safest way for him to ride but would I have said that about her 2 years seat facing forward, nope, it is her choice.

Don't get me started on her talking about all the great stuff her son can do at 2, it is an endless stream of BS.
People over-coddle their children so much it's ridiculous. They give in to every want and demand "I WANT TO PLAY WITH THIS! I WANT YOU TO BUY ME THIS! I DON'T WANT TO EAT THIS I WANT WHAT I WANT!" blah blah blah

I would've had my block knocked off as a kid had I done that stuff.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:07 PM   #41
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Question: a co-worker of mine saw a man driving, and in the back seat was a child, clearly young according to her, and the child was moving about. She called either the police or DSS, I don't remember which, and gave them the car info and license plate.

I was shocked that she would do that and told her so. She couldn't believe I thought she was in the wrong.

Note: she doesn't have kids.

IMO people are WAY too nosy, and sadly the internet feeds that.
In Manassas coming out of a shopping center that I worked at there was a left hand turn lane, one to turn right, and one with 2 signs that said it was for the 66 exit only. All of the freaking time people would not pay attention, treat the 2 right lanes as equals to get onto the road (234) and nearly sideswipe somebody, if not actually doing such, because they didn't stay in the 66 exit lane.

One night I figured that I'd had enough, a pickup came rolling through the light as I was turning onto the road, I was driving my beater car at the time (92 lesabre) and figured might as well get an insurance write-off on it. The pickup was going very fast you could see the body roll on it coming out of the turn. For some reason at the very last second I slammed on my breaks, instinct I guess. The truck not only went into MY lane, but the next one over in one swoop.. and then to the left turn lane after that, but not before, after having JUST cut across me, a kid no older than 3 pops her head up and looks out of the back window.

There is NO excuse to not strap a child in and I'll report every damn one of them myself.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:09 PM   #42
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Here's a question: What do you do if you see a person disciplining a small child (say less than 4) in a grocery store by using excessive force - slapping, hitting or otherwise violent behavior?

Do you say something? Ignore it?
some 4 year old and youngers can use a firm pat to the butt, depends on what you define as excessive I guess. I'll for certain stare you down and not move until you're finished if it's over the top, it's likely that person's fault their kid is such a brat and they can't figure out how to deal with it anyways.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:13 PM   #43
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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So based on what i've said, you just automatically assume that we dont have children. Nice.

The only thing that is obvious is that there are only a few people on here, that are willing to give a spanking a try if no other method works. The rest of you are trying the hands off approach and/or hoping for divine intervention. Nothing but respect to people who are making that work.

I'd love to see some of you when the going gets rough. How about this...instead of criticising my opinions that "dont have weight"...how about we post as parents what worked for us...The thread title could be changed too, but that's not my call.
Do you have kids? And I was basing my opinion on your time on this site as a whole. I was not attacking you, just simply saying I hold the weight of a parent over a non-parent on this subject. Also I don't know by guessing whether or not you are a parent is offensive, you might be a little over sensitive.

This is my opinion on the subject. I personally do not hit my child, I also believe I don't have the right to tell you what to do with your child. So if you feel like spanking is the best method go for it, it just doesn't fly in my household.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:17 PM   #44
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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You're opening a whole different can of worms here. Discipline doesn't have to mean a beating or ass kicking. If you got your "ass kicked", sounds like abuse to me.
Agreed. My mother was abusive physically and emotionally and my stepfather was a bit cold, very old school to a fault. My grandfather who was my first father figure was very firm but very fair, if he said something there was no other choice but to listen and it was more of a respect thing than a fear. I can't recall a time that he ever physically punished me but I wouldn't have put it past him, but he never would've been cruel with it.

If physical discipline is the norm then you have somehow failed to teach your children to act correctly. Sometimes kids will be kids; it's the "thought out" physical discipline that isn't much of a problem, the reactionary physical discipline is the problem because you're showing that you have no better way to deal with the situation which is quite barbaric in my opinion.

I see a lot of baby boomers say things like "I got my ass beat and it worked" but I've also seen data on prescribed mood stabilizing drugs on that generation as well (they're over-prescribed but to each other age group as well).

The scary thing that I've witnessed lately is young parents not putting aside time for their children, just giving them another video, show, toy, etc to play with. I lived with a "friend" for a bit, his wife and kid. The kid wasn't allowed on the couch, was frequently denied hugs and attention (once they finished dinner they went to watch TV.. if he wasn't finished he had to stay downstairs alone, so naturally he rarely ate much.. if he got hungry later on they told him too bad), was told to either go into his playroom or go to bed from the minute he got home, was told to stop talking if he tried to talk to his mom, etc. If I played with him I'd get fussed at and so would he, because they could hear the kid. That absolutely destroyed me to see and the remainder of the time I lived there I pretty much shuttered myself into my bedroom and it really strained our friendship. Parents who don't want to raise and nurture their children shouldn't have them.
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:21 PM   #45
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Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

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Depends how bad it is. I don't like to spank my daughter (she's 3) but I have and will again I'm sure. Never in public, mind you, that takes some balls.

If I see a parent using an open hand to slap with the goal being to sting the child's skin, then I'm fine with that, that's just a parent disciplining and using the proper restraint to ensure the child doesn't get injured. The second I see a closed fist I'd have to say something or place a call to the police.

Also, one or two slaps is all a kid needs to get the message across. I'd get concerned if a parent was repeatedly slapping, even with an open hand. That's a sign the parent is doing it out of frustration.

And the parents' demeanor matters too. If they're cool and collected while delivering the spank, then I'm comfortable that it's under control. If they look like they're starting to enter a fit of rage or frustration, then that's bad news.
Working in some of the more "urban" liquor stores while doing mgmt with the state of va you have no clue how many times I'd hear parents tell a young child "I'm going to beat your ass" and things like that. How do you say that in public? Disgusting.
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