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Life gives you one "do over"

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Old 04-02-2010, 09:12 AM   #1
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Life gives you one "do over"

What if you had the chance to go back and change one event or do one thing differently in your life? Instead of taking a left you can now take a right. What would you do and why... and how would your life be different now?
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:30 AM   #2
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I guess by answering this you admit to having regret in your life. Which probably everyone does have.
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:46 AM   #3
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I wouldn't have bought the house I did six years ago, the one we're in now. When we looked at it, we were 24 and knew jack about buying houses. We checked out the upstairs and the closet and the bathroom had a bit of a musty odor to it. I thought nothing of it, figuring we could clean/refresh/paint and it would do the trick.

It turned out the roof had been neglected and had formed tiny small leaks in places. Mold and fungus infections were rampant throughout the roof and siding. While we knew a new roof was needed when we bought the house, the mold damage required that we replace the roof, the siding down to the sheathing, and redo the bathroom all in one fell swoop. Luckily my wife and I were double income, no kids for a few years there, and were big savers. Still, it wiped out our savings.

In the end it's going to be alright because in the process we upgraded the house quite nicely and now have more equity in the home than we otherwise would have. But if I acted on my suspicions regarding that musty smell, I would have been told by countless people who knew better, to run like hell from that house. Musty stenches almost always indicate a big mold problem. Now I know.

If I had bought a house without those issues, I'd be better off financially right now, and probably ready to move into the house we really want. Instead I'm about 2-3 years away at this point.

That's the one regret I kick myself over. I guess there are worse things. After all, it's a good place to live, even if it's smaller than I'd like at the moment.
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:50 AM   #4
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

You saw Hot Tub Time Machine too eh Matty?

I'd have studied more for my GMAT and gone to a different MBA program. I mean I have no complaints about where I went but a) I'm not sure I should have gone to the same place for undergrad and grad school, and b) as much as I love my job and I think/know my MBA helps I feel like from at least a monetary position I haven't been able to take full advantage of having an MBA.

So yeah, if I could do it all over I would have given more effort in school
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:53 AM   #5
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

Hard to put this sort of thing in to writing, who knows exactly how different my life would have been, and what about my kids, I would never want to lose them, but one point would have been not marrying my ex, or even before that, joining a different part of the military where, in which case I wouldn't have met her, or had my kids. Maybe I would have had others, but not my 3 I love now. The past is a finicky monster, could I change things I would, but what consequences would result? I don't know, so here I am, in this life, at this time, and I have to make the best with each day...

I am not trying to avoid the question Matty, it's an incredible question. One which I have probed and questioned many times. I just don't come up with a good answer.

Finally, the movie Butterfly Effect is a stunning dramatization of it, and of unforeseen consequences. (so is It's a Wonderful Life for the older generation)
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:54 AM   #6
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schneed10 View Post
I wouldn't have bought the house I did six years ago, the one we're in now. When we looked at it, we were 24 and knew jack about buying houses. We checked out the upstairs and the closet and the bathroom had a bit of a musty odor to it. I thought nothing of it, figuring we could clean/refresh/paint and it would do the trick.

It turned out the roof had been neglected and had formed tiny small leaks in places. Mold and fungus infections were rampant throughout the roof and siding. While we knew a new roof was needed when we bought the house, the mold damage required that we replace the roof, the siding down to the sheathing, and redo the bathroom all in one fell swoop. Luckily my wife and I were double income, no kids for a few years there, and were big savers. Still, it wiped out our savings.

In the end it's going to be alright because in the process we upgraded the house quite nicely and now have more equity in the home than we otherwise would have. But if I acted on my suspicions regarding that musty smell, I would have been told by countless people who knew better, to run like hell from that house. Musty stenches almost always indicate a big mold problem. Now I know.

If I had bought a house without those issues, I'd be better off financially right now, and probably ready to move into the house we really want. Instead I'm about 2-3 years away at this point.

That's the one regret I kick myself over. I guess there are worse things. After all, it's a good place to live, even if it's smaller than I'd like at the moment.
I hear you here.

I feel like there should be a crash course out there for first time home buyers. You get easily distracted by the things you like and you tend to overlook the little things that once you move in, become not so little.

Things from my first house like a shared driveway where you have to tandem park... big pain in the rear. Another pain the rear regarding the driveway, when you pay to have someone plow your side and the neighbor prefers to shovel. Then you end up with a little snowbank divide in the middle that neither side wants to take care of. Or sharing a front lawn and the neighbor wants to mow at least once a week when it doesn't even need it, and puts a guilt trip on me when I don't take my fair turn.

Thankfully in my 2nd house the above issues are gone.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:00 AM   #7
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

Quote:
Originally Posted by CRedskinsRule View Post
Hard to put this sort of thing in to writing, who knows exactly how different my life would have been, and what about my kids, I would never want to lose them, but one point would have been not marrying my ex, or even before that, joining a different part of the military where, in which case I wouldn't have met her, or had my kids. Maybe I would have had others, but not my 3 I love now. The past is a finicky monster, could I change things I would, but what consequences would result? I don't know, so here I am, in this life, at this time, and I have to make the best with each day...

I am not trying to avoid the question Matty, it's an incredible question. One which I have probed and questioned many times. I just don't come up with a good answer.

Finally, the movie Butterfly Effect is a stunning dramatization of it, and of unforeseen consequences. (so is It's a Wonderful Life for the older generation)
While changing one decision or one event would alter the course of your life, it's exactly the course of your life that makes certain things meaningful.

So like you, I can't imagine my life without my two little girls and never would want to change that. But had my life gone differently and I ended up living in a different place out of college, I'd have ended up with a different wife with different kids. I'd have loved them just as much.

But, when we think about those things, we tend to do so with a "grass is always greener" attitude. Luckily, the kids we do have give us the power to look back on every decision we ever made and be comfortable with it. Because the bottom line is these children make us extremely happy, and we can't imagine life without them. If all our choices in life led to this, then everything worked out just fine.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:04 AM   #8
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I have plenty of regrets, but i think doing something over would be wrong. I would not change anything because if it was not for the events that happened, i would not be where i am at today.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:17 AM   #9
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

When I was in 5th grade my parents got divorced. I was given the choice to live with either parent. I chose my mom for the simple fact that I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Had I chosen my dad I would have grown up in a much, much more financially secure household and with a lot more academic discipline. I love my life right now and never spend time regretting this decision; but since it was brought up, and small thanks to Schneed's post above, I thought I'd share.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:20 AM   #10
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

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Originally Posted by 724Skinsfan View Post
When I was in 5th grade my parents got divorced. I was given the choice to live with either parent. I chose my mom for the simple fact that I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Had I chosen my dad I would have grown up in a much, much more financially secure household and with a lot more academic discipline. I love my life right now and never spend time regretting this decision; but since it was brought up, and small thanks to Schneed's post above, I thought I'd share.
Always good when parents bag their responsibility and make the kid choose. Not to bash your parents but that was crap man.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:22 AM   #11
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I regret never getting to see a game at RFK,those were the days.Got to see the Who there,that was the closest I came
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:31 AM   #12
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

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Always good when parents bag their responsibility and make the kid choose. Not to bash your parents but that was crap man.
Hard to paint a rosy picture but both of them did a good job of not making me feel guilty by picking either one. If ever there was a "civil divorce" this was one of them. It was one of those, "I want you to live with me just as much as your father wants you to live with him. We're not going to force you to live with either one." And the choice was always open-ended, meaning I could say at any time I wanted to go live with my dad.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:41 AM   #13
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I am my past...I wouldn't change a single thing.
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:50 AM   #14
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

I'll have to say all my dumb choices in the past have me where I am today. If I didn't get married a a ripe old age of 21 I would not have my daughter today. If I didn't go through girl friend after girl friend after my divorce at the ripe age of 23 I would not have found my wife today. If I didn't find my wife I would not have my other daughter which has brought a hole new meaning to life at age 45. So I guess I have made alot of bad decisions for just the right reason. I will add that at age 25 a made the decision that my daughter needed a parent to step up to the plate and I devoted my life to her. It made me a better person and provided me with a life time of great memories.
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Old 04-02-2010, 11:13 AM   #15
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Re: Life gives you one "do over"

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I am my past...I wouldn't change a single thing.
Cop out.

Come on play along, you don't have things you look back on and wish you could have done differently?
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