Warpath  

Home | Forums | Salary Cap Info | Shop | Donate | Stay Connected




Go Back   Warpath > Off-Topic Discussion > Parking Lot


understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Parking Lot


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-14-2010, 04:08 PM   #136
Playmaker
 
Slingin Sammy 33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 4,347
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
The game plan is to f*ck all that being nice shit....time to be a man and say:
  1. I am disgusted by the way you're acting. Things need to change and are going to change around here.
  2. I'm not sleeping on the couch again, you are more than welcome to sleep at your parents.
  3. I need intestacy on the regular. If I don't get it from you I am leaving your ass within a week.
From the sound of it, this chick is mean spirited and you might be better off without her.
I hope he doesn't come at her with #3 or he may get it.

Intestacy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

LOL.

Seriously though, the other guys are giving you good advice. If you two can't communicate together and she's going to pull the things she's been, you deserve happiness and it sounds unless there's a drastic turnabout you wil be finding it elsewhere.
__________________
"I would bet.....(if), an angel fairy came down and said, '[You can have anything] in the world you would like to own,' I wouldn't be surprised if you said a football club and particularly the Washington Redskins.'' Jack Kent Cooke, 1996.
Slingin Sammy 33 is offline   Reply With Quote

Advertisements
Old 08-14-2010, 04:13 PM   #137
Registered User
 
saden1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Seattle
Age: 35
Posts: 10,069
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33 View Post
I hope he doesn't come at her with #3 or he may get it.

Intestacy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

LOL.

Seriously though, the other guys are giving you good advice. If you two can't communicate together and she's going to pull the things she's been, you deserve happiness and it sounds unless there's a drastic turnabout you wil be finding it elsewhere.
LOL... I blame swype.
saden1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 05:39 PM   #138
The Starter
 
jamf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Diego Ca
Posts: 2,468
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
The game plan is to f*ck all that being nice shit....time to be a man and say:
  1. I am disgusted by the way you're acting. Things need to change and are going to change around here.
  2. I'm not sleeping on the couch again, you are more than welcome to sleep at your parents.
  3. I need intimacy on the regular. If I don't get it from you I am leaving your ass within a week.

From the sound of it, this chick is mean spirited and you might be better off without her.
I agree with everything except #3.
It won't be worth it if she isn't into it and you will be a jerk for forcing her.

I hate to be a dick... Is she seeing someone else? Does she just leave randomly to run errands for a few hours?

I hate to say end a marriage but you are a young guy without any kids...
jamf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 05:53 PM   #139
The Starter
 
SUNRA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,680
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Listen to me young man. I am 43 years old married to a 29 year old woman. We have sex at least 4 times a week. If your wife has all of a sudden changed after a trip, there could have been something that happened to her that she doesn't feel comfortable with telling you. The main reason the sexual relationship in marriages deminishes is because it becomes too redundant in sexual positions. If you are not willing to keep your sex life exciting by having sex in different places in the house or different positions other than missionary it might light a fire. Most importantly ask her what likes the most in bed and what she likes the least. Then make it happen more and often.
__________________
Redskins Member since 1970
SUNRA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 06:13 PM   #140
Naega jeil jal naga
 
Dirtbag59's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlanta, Georgia From: Silver Spring, Maryland
Age: 29
Posts: 14,750
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Actually never mind. This woman is crazy. She lashes out for, well I wouldn't say no reason, but I'm guessing it's not a good one. Make sure your finances are in order and get a good divorce attorney. Just remember when you start dating again not to complain about your ex-wife. Women tend to frown upon that, plus it's a mood killer to complain about ex's. You're lucky you don't have kids.

Anyway I feel for you Snake.
__________________
"It's nice to be important, but its more important to be nice."
- Scooter

"I feel like Dirtbag has been slowly and methodically trolling the board for a month or so now."
- FRPLG

Last edited by Dirtbag59; 08-14-2010 at 07:20 PM.
Dirtbag59 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 06:44 PM   #141
Thank You, Sean.
 
Gmanc711's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Age: 29
Posts: 7,506
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
The game plan is to f*ck all that being nice shit....time to be a man and say:
  1. I am disgusted by the way you're acting. Things need to change and are going to change around here.
  2. I'm not sleeping on the couch again, you are more than welcome to sleep at your parents.
  3. I need intimacy on the regular. If I don't get it from you I am leaving your ass within a week.

From the sound of it, this chick is mean spirited and you might be better off without her.
Seriously.... I still think that a month is still a little early to start really doing anything drastic (I know you said it was like 32 days).... but eventually somethings gotta give. As others have stated, this is going beyond sex at this point... clearly something is either going on or is wrong.

And not for nothing, but if she's going to her parents house often, would it be nuts for you to stop by when she's over there? I mean I hope she's not cheating on you, but if thats a common theme, you might want to stop in or drive by to check it out.
__________________
#21
Gmanc711 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 07:26 PM   #142
Naega jeil jal naga
 
Dirtbag59's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Atlanta, Georgia From: Silver Spring, Maryland
Age: 29
Posts: 14,750
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gmanc711 View Post
Seriously.... I still think that a month is still a little early to start really doing anything drastic (I know you said it was like 32 days).... but eventually somethings gotta give. As others have stated, this is going beyond sex at this point... clearly something is either going on or is wrong.

And not for nothing, but if she's going to her parents house often, would it be nuts for you to stop by when she's over there? I mean I hope she's not cheating on you, but if thats a common theme, you might want to stop in or drive by to check it out.
She's not talking about it, instead she's resorting to name calling and domineering tactics. At worst serving her with divorce papers will send a warning shot without having to resort to empty threats and screaming matches and maybe she'll stop taking her marriage for granted. If they do end up getting divorced then Snake will save himself the pain of being stuck in not only a sexless marriage, but a loveless marriage.

Marriage is suppose to be tough, but not like this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattyk View Post
What he said above. You've gotta have a serious talk but you can't get worked up or it will quickly go south. Stay objective and don't get caught up in the emotion of things.
This is very sound advice for any argument. Usually the person that ends up getting all worked up is the one that ends up looking like an idiot. Trust me I've looked like an idiot plenty of times, especially when I thought I was "laying down da law."
__________________
"It's nice to be important, but its more important to be nice."
- Scooter

"I feel like Dirtbag has been slowly and methodically trolling the board for a month or so now."
- FRPLG
Dirtbag59 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 08:39 PM   #143
Registered User
 
SBXVII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,766
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Wow 3 pages already. I'm late to the party I guess.

Ok, most here would say don't ask SBXVII cause I sorta gave my opinion recently about being married after one of our fellow fans got married. But, I'll give you my two cents anyway.....

If it was a recent change- find out why. It sounds like she's mad at you about something. Perhaps something you said or did,.... or did not do. I agree with others, take this head on and approach her about it. It could be one of the above or something simple like she failed to pick up her pills and does not want to get pregnant.

The toughest yrs for any marriage is the first 5. Get past that and you should be doing somewhat well. My joking diatribe....is:

Couples date
Fall in love
*Have sex all the time.*
After the first yr of sex every night it turns into 3-4 times a week. Then after the second yr it turns into 2-3 times a week. Then your lucky to get it once a week and so on and so forth. Welcome to the club. It's a special club and only a select few can be apart of..... for those who are married. lol.

Every one has different issue yet similar....

What is similar is kids... usually. About the time couple have their first kid the wife is exhausted breast feeding all day and night. Your exhausted cause you wake up everytime the kid cries for food or your wife gets out of bed. For what ever reason women find it hard to be sexy and excited about sex while breast feeding or being exhausted. Even though she probably looks sexy as hell. lol.

On top of this wonderful problem we found out my wife was allergic to latex. Condoms would give her an infection which lasted a week to week and a half, then her period which lasted a week, then sex, and the whole process started over. I was getting it once a month.

After the second kid I was fixed and although sex was obviously not an issue anymore other things became the problem. See daycare is expensive so my wife took off and stayed at home and did daycare for other families to help make ends meet. Again I couldn't understand why she kept saying she was so tired at the end of the day. I mean how hard can daycare be? right? until I had to sit in for her so she could make a doctors appointment.

My problem now is she's in menopaus, which means high blood pressure and migraines. To top it off she does not want to take steroids for the menopaus cause she is afraid of possible breast cancer and growing hair everywhere. So in a nut shell she is also dry down there and sex using lube burns.

As I said in the other thread. She's my best friend, my confidant, and as bad as it sounds like I make it out to be..... I've learned I have to take the good with the bad.

Remember... for better or worse?

I'd say talk with her first. Find out if whatever the problem is can be fixed. If not then decide whats important to you.
SBXVII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 08:43 PM   #144
Registered User
 
SBXVII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,766
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtbag359 View Post
She's not talking about it, instead she's resorting to name calling and domineering tactics. At worst serving her with divorce papers will send a warning shot without having to resort to empty threats and screaming matches and maybe she'll stop taking her marriage for granted. If they do end up getting divorced then Snake will save himself the pain of being stuck in not only a sexless marriage, but a loveless marriage.

Marriage is suppose to be tough, but not like this.



This is very sound advice for any argument. Usually the person that ends up getting all worked up is the one that ends up looking like an idiot. Trust me I've looked like an idiot plenty of times, especially when I thought I was "laying down da law."
This is most likely due to maturity. How old are they would be my first question. Just looking at what you posted not looking back I'd guess they are early twenties. These types of tactics are common with young newly weds. If they were older and name calling was used I'd say there definitly is an issue.
SBXVII is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2010, 11:01 PM   #145
Registered User
 
saden1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Seattle
Age: 35
Posts: 10,069
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gmanc711 View Post
Seriously.... I still think that a month is still a little early to start really doing anything drastic (I know you said it was like 32 days).... but eventually somethings gotta give. As others have stated, this is going beyond sex at this point... clearly something is either going on or is wrong.

And not for nothing, but if she's going to her parents house often, would it be nuts for you to stop by when she's over there? I mean I hope she's not cheating on you, but if thats a common theme, you might want to stop in or drive by to check it out.
I am assuming he had a nice chat with her...if he has and she is still acting like this it is time to play the American Beauty card if not the "this shit is over" card.
saden1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2010, 08:54 AM   #146
Uncle Phil
 
SmootSmack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 45,116
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

From what I gather, they're not really doing anything together. Anything positive at least. It's one thing to have a dry sex spell, but quite another to suddenly stop doing anything together
__________________
You're So Vain...You Probably Think This Sig Is About You
SmootSmack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2010, 11:04 AM   #147
Playmaker
 
724Skinsfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Roanoke, VA
Posts: 3,508
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by SBXVII View Post
Wow 3 pages already. I'm late to the party I guess.

Ok, most here would say don't ask SBXVII cause I sorta gave my opinion recently about being married after one of our fellow fans got married. But, I'll give you my two cents anyway.....

If it was a recent change- find out why. It sounds like she's mad at you about something. Perhaps something you said or did,.... or did not do. I agree with others, take this head on and approach her about it. It could be one of the above or something simple like she failed to pick up her pills and does not want to get pregnant.

The toughest yrs for any marriage is the first 5. Get past that and you should be doing somewhat well. My joking diatribe....is:

Couples date
Fall in love
*Have sex all the time.*
After the first yr of sex every night it turns into 3-4 times a week. Then after the second yr it turns into 2-3 times a week. Then your lucky to get it once a week and so on and so forth. Welcome to the club. It's a special club and only a select few can be apart of..... for those who are married. lol.

Every one has different issue yet similar....


What is similar is kids... usually. About the time couple have their first kid the wife is exhausted breast feeding all day and night. Your exhausted cause you wake up everytime the kid cries for food or your wife gets out of bed. For what ever reason women find it hard to be sexy and excited about sex while breast feeding or being exhausted. Even though she probably looks sexy as hell. lol.


On top of this wonderful problem we found out my wife was allergic to latex. Condoms would give her an infection which lasted a week to week and a half, then her period which lasted a week, then sex, and the whole process started over. I was getting it once a month.


After the second kid I was fixed and although sex was obviously not an issue anymore other things became the problem. See daycare is expensive so my wife took off and stayed at home and did daycare for other families to help make ends meet. Again I couldn't understand why she kept saying she was so tired at the end of the day. I mean how hard can daycare be? right? until I had to sit in for her so she could make a doctors appointment.


My problem now is she's in menopaus, which means high blood pressure and migraines. To top it off she does not want to take steroids for the menopaus cause she is afraid of possible breast cancer and growing hair everywhere. So in a nut shell she is also dry down there and sex using lube burns.


As I said in the other thread. She's my best friend, my confidant, and as bad as it sounds like I make it out to be..... I've learned I have to take the good with the bad.


Remember... for better or worse?


I'd say talk with her first. Find out if whatever the problem is can be fixed. If not then decide whats important to you.

Wow! Etch that stuff into stone.
__________________
"I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn
724Skinsfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2010, 11:16 AM   #148
‎\m/
 
Mattyk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Age: 42
Posts: 85,866
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

This thread is definitely a TMI Hall of Famer
__________________
Support The Warpath! | Warpath Shop
Mattyk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2010, 01:01 PM   #149
I like big (_|_)s.
 
TheMalcolmConnection's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Lexington, Virginia
Age: 33
Posts: 17,684
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
I am assuming he had a nice chat with her...if he has and she is still acting like this it is time to play the American Beauty card if not the "this shit is over" card.
From reading the other thread about my wife and our problem, you'd think I would be the last person to follow the "F YOU" card, but I did and it seemed to work. I mean, typically I just let shit happen and not worry, but the mom thing I was absolutely firm about and in the end, she got that she wasn't going to win.

I definitely agree that now a firmer stance is needed. Not a, "Get naked, you're gonna' take this!" type of stance, but it's time to not take anymore shit.
__________________
Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.
TheMalcolmConnection is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2010, 02:52 PM   #150
Registered User
 
SBXVII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,766
Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Quote:
Originally Posted by SolidSnake84 View Post
Hey good morning everyone again.

Last night didn't go so well. I was watching the Skins game alone, because my wife went to visit her parents because it was her brother's 19th birthday.

When she came home, it was about quarter after nine. She sat down on the couch with me, and i began to wonder if I could try and get something going, so i cuddled with her a bit that at first she seemed receptive to. I was rubbing her shoulders, kissing her on the side of the head, etc...

She then said the couch was uncomfortable, so she got up and laid on the other one to read a book. (Not interested in the game). I knew now that things were going downhill and i realized that any chance i had of getting anything going was over. I thought it was smart to abandon the plan because i knew she was only going to get furious if i kept trying.

The game ended and I went to bed. I have to sleep on the farthest edge of the mattress because she doesn't like being touched and stuff while this drought has been going on. She got in bed angrily and called me a son of a bitch, and she said all i ever want to do when i get in bed is to sleep.

I tried to reason with her, explaining to her that i knew she was tired tonight and that by reading her book, she wanted space from me, which i respected. She just got angrier and angrier as i tried to reason with her, and i knew that soon i was going to have to look for another place to sleep. (She will take the pillows and lay down on the floor if I don't leave at night, and she knows that i will feel sorry for her and want her to sleep in the bed, which i do, so i leave).

I walked out into the living room at 11:30, sadly cracked open a 40 of Bud Ice that I had bought for this game, and started drinking it as I watched Mike Shanahan's post game conference.

I drank the 40 and fell asleep. I woke up this morning at 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. Going back in the bedroom isn't an option either as she locks the door when i leave, and i could only break open the door with a sledgehammer. So I played Madden, all the while wondering what today was going to be like.

She is at her parents house right now and running some errands. She said good morning to me, but i couldn't tell if she was being mean or sarcastic about it. I almost find myself waiting in fear for her next move...

I had promise yesterday i thought, because she wanted to talk about the issues, but tonight was just a step in the other direction...I will continue to pray and seek advice from people and start getting a gameplan together, because I do believe now that this is the beginning of the end.
Ok after back tracking to find this.....

She's mad at you. It's obvious. What is the question. I'm just guessing maybe throwing a hail marry who knows but my guess is .... she keeps coming home in hopes that you will have dinner for her or the house cleaned and instead she comes home to a house that still looks the same as she left and no dinner. It might even be that maybe she has dinner made or is making it for you during the other months and is wondering why you don't do it for her.

I could be wrong but whatever "it" is she will continue acting like this until you figure "it" out. What I recommend..... write her a note telling how much you love her and what she does that makes you happy. Then tell her you have racked your brain and can't figure out what is wrong and that you hope she will tell you so you can correct it. I'm not saying act like a dog who's been scolded, just play the game.

You see she is playing a game with you. She is mad at you and has cut you off to get your attention. That's a typical move from the female side. If you do love her and do want to be with her then you have to learn to play the game. It's obvious that out right talking to her will piss her off cause she thinks..."you should know what the problem is." So now play the game and write a nice note and mention that your oblivious to whatever you did or didn't do that has her upset and that you would like to correct it but can't if you don't know what the problem is. I guarantee after you leave the note and leave the house for whatever reason...work, icecream, shopping... whatever she will sit down with you and explain what the problem is.

Oh and make up sex is awsome.
SBXVII is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:16 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
This site is not officially affiliated with the Washington Redskins or the NFL.
Page generated in 0.37694 seconds with 9 queries

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC5

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25