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understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Old 08-12-2010, 03:09 PM   #31
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
No one brought this up but she might be cheating on you. I hope that isn't the case but that's a distinct possibility.
The thought has crossed my mind. I dont think so, but you never really know.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:10 PM   #32
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Perhaps sex counselling is in order?
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:12 PM   #33
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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First off, great advice by Schneed10. I appreciate it deeply, and have never considered those issues. Regarding pregnancy, i highly doubt it, our sex life was shaky before FL, and absolutley ended when we got home.

To answer Sammy, its like somebody just flipped a switch...
Like the other folks have said, there's something more to this than normal reduction in frequency, especially since you mentioned how angry she gets when you try to discuss it.

Try to hang in there and find out what's wrong, but if this continues to go on for another month or so despite your efforts, you've got a real problem. A sexless marriage isn't a norm, especially not in your mid-20s with no kids.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:12 PM   #34
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by saden1 View Post
No one brought this up but she might be cheating on you. I hope that isn't the case but that's a distinct possibility.
That crossed my mind too, but I didnt wanna be the one to say it.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:12 PM   #35
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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It's just the two of you being comfortable with each other. The main thing is that when you DO plan something, don't force it at all. Just be cool, nice romantic night out, have a few drinks (JUST a couple) and see where that goes. Are you being affectionate at all (kissing, holding hands, hugging, etc?)??
Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:16 PM   #36
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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I dont know where else to go with this, so i'll ask my friends here at WP.

I've been with my wife for a few years now. Every aspect of our life is happy and wonderful. We have no children, and it's just us. We love to travel, eat out, go to the movies together, and all of that stuff.

We get along great and I consider her the only other person in my life besides my father, that i completley trust.

The problem is, since returning from our trip to Florida 32 days ago, we have had a sexless marriage, and a complete lack of other intimacy. I blame myself and have tried everything to try and bring it back. I even started lifting weights to try and change my physical build hoping it would help...Nothing has worked. I'm not ready to give up just yet, but i need help in seeing which way this thing is headed.

My father tells me that this is how it usually goes with people after a few years, and guys that i work with say the same thing. My problem is, at only 25 years of age, i'm not ready to accept that the sexual part of my marriage is over, like so many guys have done who are in their 30's and 40's.

However, the realistic part of me says that this is probably it. I love her to death and would give the waking world for her, and don't want to leave. But, is it just better to leave now before the kids come, so i can get over the heartache and hopefully be psychologically healed by my early 30's???
Tell her that if you don't get it from her you'll get it somewhere else. That should spark something in the situation one way or another.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:16 PM   #37
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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The thought has crossed my mind. I dont think so, but you never really know.
Don't think about that until you actually find it to be true. It will eat your mind and thoughts and torture you until you prove it to NOT be true.

There are MANY, MANY other reasons for this to be happening other than that. It's likely NOT cheating.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:16 PM   #38
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.
I hope not. But back to your original post about being realistic, it's better this happen now if you both decide things aren't working, then when you already have kids.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:16 PM   #39
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Wait until she gets prego talk about dry spells.

IMO 32 days is really not that big of a deal but I have a kid, job, etc... so sometimes life and it responsibilities just basically sweep you up.

I would try a date night and say we need time to refocus have fun and forgot life like when we first start dating. Have her say what she wants to do for that night and at the end of the night you should be scoring.

But the no sex could be symptom of a bigger problem but a 32 days I don't see it.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:17 PM   #40
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Tell her that if you don't get it from her you'll get it somewhere else. That should spark something in the situation one way or another.


Strong 8th post.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:18 PM   #41
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Wait until she gets prego talk about dry spells.

IMO 32 days is really not that big of a deal
but I have a kid, job, etc... so sometimes life and it responsibilities just basically sweep you up.

I would try a date night and say we need time to refocus have fun and forgot life like when we first start dating. Have her say what she wants to do for that night and at the end of the night you should be scoring.

But the no sex could be symptom of a bigger problem but a 32 days I don't see it.


So true.




Keep in mind, pregnancy (like a possible medical issue or birth control interference) are all temporary, hormonal problems...that will pass.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:19 PM   #42
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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Originally Posted by TheLastDon View Post
Tell her that if you don't get it from her you'll get it somewhere else. That should spark something in the situation one way or another.
saden, I blame you
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:19 PM   #43
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

I've been married for a year and a half, together for 5 and a half. While we've had a few dry spells, they've been nowhere near what you've described. I think you're (minus TheLastDon) getting some good advice here. Hope everything works out for you.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:22 PM   #44
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

32 days is a long time. Time to have a serious talk.
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:22 PM   #45
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Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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saden, I blame you
LOOL...he's keeping it real...it's an issue we have discussed before. He's not advocating cheating, he's advocating leaving and thus getting it from somewhere else.
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