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What would you do if this was your son?

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Old 10-27-2011, 03:14 PM   #91
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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It doesnt really give anything away, it just made me sick thinking about it. Also in my opinion Hall Pass sucked. So if you watch it go in with much lower expectations then you may have gotten from the trailer or something. I have a couple friends that say its one of those movies that gets better after the first time like Grandma's Boy or Super Troopers, but thats saying a lot and i see no way Hall Pass could ever be really funny.

Have you seen Hot Tub Time Machine? Its got a horrible name that likely made a lot of people look past it but i think its up there with Old School, in terms of recent really good comidies almost everyone will like.
Yeah I don't think it's giving anything huge away, so no big deal. And I'll be sure to keep it mind. I don't have huge expectations of it anyway, otherwise I'dve seen it by now. So if it's relatively funny I'll be fine with it. And yeah I've seen HTTM too, that was another comedy I'd say is on the same level as Old School, etc. So if it's almost as funny as that I'll be happy. I'm prob. going to rent it for a buck from Redbox so even if it's disappointing I won't be too upset about it.
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Old 10-27-2011, 03:34 PM   #92
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

^ Hot Tub Time Machine is so awesome! I love that movie, great drinking movie to watch.


As far as the Girl Scout boy, sorry but girl scouts are for girls and boy scouts are for boys. I may have to agree with first on this one it looks the mom want a girl vs. a boy. His hair is even braided, WTF? The boy may very well be gay but at seven really braiding his hair and having him join the girl scouts? I am all for letting your kid do what he/she wants but sometimes you just have to tell them no it is not a good idea.

If he was son I would tell him no. At seven by letting him join the girl scouts you are just confusing him and confusing the other girls and open the door for him to be hurt. If he is truly gay he has a lot of hurt come from the real world when he gets older no need to ruin his childhood as well.

This is somewhat off topic but they show him playing with girl toys in the video, it is weird how folks freak when a boy plays with girl toys but if a girl plays with boy toys it is no big deal. My nieces play with matchboxes/hot wheels all day long no one says a word but when my son starts to play with their play-kitchen my Mother In Law gets all nervous and tells him to stop.
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Old 10-27-2011, 03:52 PM   #93
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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^ Hot Tub Time Machine is so awesome! I love that movie, great drinking movie to watch.


As far as the Girl Scout boy, sorry but girl scouts are for girls and boy scouts are for boys. I may have to agree with first on this one it looks the mom want a girl vs. a boy. His hair is even braided, WTF? The boy may very well be gay but at seven really braiding his hair and having him join the girl scouts? I am all for letting your kid do what he/she wants but sometimes you just have to tell them no it is not a good idea.

If he was son I would tell him no. At seven by letting him join the girl scouts you are just confusing him and confusing the other girls and open the door for him to be hurt. If he is truly gay he has a lot of hurt come from the real world when he gets older no need to ruin his childhood as well.

This is somewhat off topic but they show him playing with girl toys in the video, it is weird how folks freak when a boy plays with girl toys but if a girl plays with boy toys it is no big deal. My nieces play with matchboxes/hot wheels all day long no one says a word but when my son starts to play with their play-kitchen my Mother In Law gets all nervous and tells him to stop.
Well when boys play with girl toys they are viewed as sissies, or potential sissies. That's not a good thing for the ultra-competitive male society we live in today. When a girl plays with boy toys (no pun intended) they are simply viewed as being more tough or manly than other girls. It all plays into gender roles, and boys that play with girl toys probably get viewed as a guy who might be bi-curious or gay later in life. And some parents don't want that. Your MIL probably is afraid that this will lead your son down a contentious path down the road.
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Old 10-27-2011, 06:06 PM   #94
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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^ Hot Tub Time Machine is so awesome! I love that movie, great drinking movie to watch.


As far as the Girl Scout boy, sorry but girl scouts are for girls and boy scouts are for boys. I may have to agree with first on this one it looks the mom want a girl vs. a boy. His hair is even braided, WTF? The boy may very well be gay but at seven really braiding his hair and having him join the girl scouts? I am all for letting your kid do what he/she wants but sometimes you just have to tell them no it is not a good idea.

If he was son I would tell him no. At seven by letting him join the girl scouts you are just confusing him and confusing the other girls and open the door for him to be hurt. If he is truly gay he has a lot of hurt come from the real world when he gets older no need to ruin his childhood as well.

This is somewhat off topic but they show him playing with girl toys in the video, it is weird how folks freak when a boy plays with girl toys but if a girl plays with boy toys it is no big deal. My nieces play with matchboxes/hot wheels all day long no one says a word but when my son starts to play with their play-kitchen my Mother In Law gets all nervous and tells him to stop.

Its one of my favorite movies.


You started a thread a month or so ago about a gay kid that killed himself. I didnt want to say anything in it, but honestly that kid and his family brought the hate upon himself. I think he was tormented partly because he was gay but mainly because of all the attention he brought upon himself.


Its like if a girl in high school talks about how shes so pretty because shes a beauty queen, when in reality her parents pay for her to enter pageants. Kids are gonna talk shit about her. If shes slightly overweight shes gonna be called some pretty horrible names, thatís just the way kids are. By entering pageants and sharing that with others she brings rightful attention and just scrutiny upon her looks. You combine that with a self promotion, narcissist, know it all, liberal (jk), or caddy type of personality and that girl is gonna be called some not so pretty things.

Im sure most gay kids and fat girls are always gonna get picked on, but if youre an activist gay kid thatís in your face flamboyant and brings attention upon yourself and your cause you are going to be made fun of more so and more viscously then the regular kid in class that happens to be gay. Its just like a slight chubby girl who tells everyone how pretty she is because she has to leave school early today to get headshots before this weekendís beauty pageant. Shes gonna hear more negative opinions about her looks then the fat girl that doesnt invite scrutiny upon herself. If you cant handle the negative attention then donít flaunt what you think everyone else should appreciate or understand.

But for young people I cant really say itís a kids fault that they are brining on unwanted attention. Its most likely the parentsí (or parentís) fault because they probably reinforced or taught their kid to display a direct in your face attitude, by constantly telling their fat daughter how shes so much prettier than everyone else at school or how accepting everyone should be of their son's in your face gay attitude, because they think its just great. So to let a 7 year boy think theyre a girl by treating them that way is child abuse, imo. Regardless if he turns out to be gay/transgender or not hes going to face some serious confusion when he reaches maturity.

I donít think theres anything wrong with letting a boy play with girl toys that are laying around or letting your son dress up as a their favorite Scooby Doo costume for Halloween even if that character happens to be female. Whats wrong is endorsing your childs belief that he is a girl or she is a boy by outfitting them with clothes, toys and haircuts that donít belong on their gender. Once they grow up and reach full physical and mental maturity and they feel a particular way, then fine, like any adult respect them through their actions. Allowing your child to be a transvestite in the meantime is just abuse. When I see things on the news about minors getting sex changes or hormone suppression treatments I think its just as bad as a pedophile engaging in contact with a minor and thinking its okay because the teen consented. Minors cant consent in either instance.

Seriousness aside and as a side note my mom let me go as a witch for Halloween when I was in preschool or kindergarten in the late 80ís. At the time I had no idea that witches were female, I just thought they were witches and to me that was the scariest costume I could get. My brother is almost 2 years older than me and at the time didnít really realize either that witches were just female, however, later in life he would give me a hard time about it, and I was always pissed that my mom let me go as a witch. When any of my friends find out they always make fun of me in a joking way , except for girls. For some reason girls always think its adorable and it scores me pointsÖ..
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Old 10-27-2011, 07:30 PM   #95
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

I think gender is a social construct and I personally can't stand the gender binary.

That said, I think its a shame this kid can't join the girl scouts, but I understand why. Its tradition and I don't think anyone should break that for anyone.

I think the kid should be free to do what HE wants. I didn't read the link or much about the story just due to the hateful drivel most people spew in the comments section but if its the mother pushing this on her son then I don't even understand how the lady still HAS the kid. CPS anyone?

If it's the boy's wishes that he could join the girl scouts (without any of the mothers influence/pressuring him to act feminine), I think you just have to sit him aside and explain that sometimes the world is operated in a way that there are some things only girls can do and some things only boys can do and this is one of them. Basically the "sometimes life's not fair" kind of talk.

This reminds me of the family that was in the news not too long ago, who wouldn't tell anyone if their kid was a boy or a girl and wanted the kid to come to that conclusion himself (it was obviously a boy). I get what the parents are trying to do, but I mean you HAVE to give the kid some sort of structure. If its a boy you need to let your kid know he's a boy and if he decides as he gets older that he wants to gender bend or do whatever he wants with his gender fine. But it's almost cruel and definitely destructive to not give your kid any sort of jumping off point in terms of self-identity.
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Old 10-28-2011, 12:41 AM   #96
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At some point in the video the boy calls himself a girl. I personally think that at age 7 the only way a boy could think that way was by some type of influence from his mom. I think mom wanted a girl and is treating the son as a girl but i could be totally wrong. The sad part is this boy is going to have a tough life growing up.

BTW how have you been doing? Still in school?
You may think all that but how do you know? Maybe the boy just likes acting like a girl and his mom chooses to let him.
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Old 10-28-2011, 01:35 AM   #97
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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You may think all that but how do you know? Maybe the boy just likes acting like a girl and his mom chooses to let him.
Well I mean she must not be correcting him. I mean even though I'm all for gender bending and what not. You gotta let the boy know he's a boy. Even if he likes girl things at the end of the day he's still a boy. He's not biologically a girl. I mean I just feel like to self-identify correctly, you need to know who you are and then who you aren't and then take it from there. A 7 year old can't know all that yet. Technically gender identity doesn't even start forming till around 9 or 10 years old. He may know he's different and doesn't feel like a boy, but I just find it a bit startling that he's already saying he considers himself a girl. I can only think that his mother hasn't tried to correct him or guide him at all and is being totally permissive about the whole thing. I may be wrong.
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Old 10-28-2011, 01:36 AM   #98
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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At some point in the video the boy calls himself a girl. I personally think that at age 7 the only way a boy could think that way was by some type of influence from his mom. I think mom wanted a girl and is treating the son as a girl but i could be totally wrong. The sad part is this boy is going to have a tough life growing up.

BTW how have you been doing? Still in school?
Pretty good. Yep. Started grad school this year.
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Old 10-28-2011, 01:53 AM   #99
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Well I mean she must not be correcting him. I mean even though I'm all for gender bending and what not. You gotta let the boy know he's a boy. Even if he likes girl things at the end of the day he's still a boy. He's not biologically a girl. I mean I just feel like to self-identify correctly, you need to know who you are and then who you aren't and then take it from there. A 7 year old can't know all that yet. Technically gender identity doesn't even start forming till around 9 or 10 years old. He may know he's different and doesn't feel like a boy, but I just find it a bit startling that he's already saying he considers himself a girl. I can only think that his mother hasn't tried to correct him or guide him at all and is being totally permissive about the whole thing. I may be wrong.
I agree, obviously she's not correcting him in any way, but I feel like taking her pov as a mom on this one. It sounds like she's decided to be completely supportive of him whatever his endeavors are, and if I ever become a parent I'd have the same pov.

I don't think it's that serious, I'm sure the kid already knows he's a boy, he probably doesn't use the girls bathroom when he needs to handle his business, and I'm sure his mom has already established the fact that if he wants to be treated by a girl there will be limitations. But joining the girl scouts shouldn't be a big one, it's just a girls club where they do girly shit that he obviously wants to partake in. Unless highly questionable activities were going on inside the club it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Still though I understand the girl scouts side of this, i agree with the keeping of tradition and respect it completely.
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Old 10-28-2011, 10:56 AM   #100
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

My mom called last night so I asked her why she let me go as a witch for halloween. I was actually in preschool and was 3, almost 4, at the time. She said that leading up to Halloween all the books that were read to me had lots of witches in them and the witches in kids books are usually the scariest or evilest character (shes a elementary school teacher and says this is still mostly true). She said when I first told her I wanted to be a witch she tried to explain to me that boys are not witches but I wasnít able to understand, and just wanted to be what I thought was the scariest thing you could be. For about a week she tried to trick me into being other things including a warlock (the male equivalent of a witch), by reading books and showing me pictures of warlocks but I wasnít having it.

Finally she gave in and got me a witches nose, hat and most embarrassingly witch nails and a petite black dress (with sleeves) from goodwill that she cut to make shorter. She said that the whole time she questioned herself by allowing me to be a witch, but decided that if thatís what I wanted to be she would at least make me a the best witch costume she could make. She also said she always felt bad for the kids who were forced to go as something that the kid didnít want to be, but that the mom thought looked cute. She did however mention that I made a very cute witch, and will try and find some pics for me. She adamantly thinks halloween is for allowing kids to pretend to be whatever they want to be.

I guess I went to a big preschool because we had a Halloween parade where all the kids took turns going to each classroom to show off their costumes. This was also a hard part for her because she didnít know what other people would think, or if the older kids would make fun of me. She said a couple teachers and parents did a double take when they first saw me but everyone acted normal after their first look and even commented on how good my costume was. She said a lot of the kids really liked my costume and none of them thought anything unusual of it including my brother who was about 2 years olderÖ... until years later.

She even brought up, what I think was the original article in this thread, about a boy she saw on the news last year that dressed up as a girl for halloween. She thought that the cases were a little different because while a witch is a feminine character the reasoning why I or other kids may want to be a witch is because its scary. The boy who dressed up as the girl from Scooby doo wasnít doing it to be scary, rather, he just liked that character. He was also older and seemed to understand the peculiarness of the decision to some extent. Either way my mom is about as liberal/progressive as it gets and now jokingly takes credit for starting this stuff. For reference this would have been in 1986. So thatís my experience as a cross dresserÖÖ..

I think there are 2 clear sides when it comes to allowing your kid to be transvestite/transgender and that theres not much room for either side to give way on their point of view. While I think parents should be supportive of most of their childís endeavors I think parenting is more about providing guidance then encouraging your child to do whatever it is he wants. Im not a parent (which pretty much makes my opinion invalid on this issue) but while I would allow my hypothetical son be pretend or aspire to be a cowboy, army man, ninja, or even witch for a evening I wouldnít let him be a cowboy, army man, ninja or girl year round. Im sure most little boys would be down for dressing up like a ninja year round just like most girls would be okay if her mom let her dress up as a princess all year. I donít think allowing or encouraging your kid to do what they feel like is constructive. They arnt adults.

So it stays the same for me if your son wants to be a girl not just for pretend but in real life, in my mind hes not old enough to make that decision. Enabling him to think hes a girl by treating him like one prior to maturity is a severe form of child abuse in my opinion. What if your kid really wants to be a dog because you have pets in your home. Should you let him sleep in a crate, play with tennis balls, wear a collar and join Dog Scouts. No matter how much a little boy wants to be a dog or a girl they are not and shouldnít be allowed to be. If they grow up and still feel that way then as an adult they can make the decision to get a sex change or change their name to Boomer The Dog. And if your kid decides when their a teenager that they just dont want to ever grow up then thats fine too. Society is now this permanent baby's parent. So just like the mom who allows her little boy to think hes a girl, we should allow and financial enable our permanent baby to do and be what ever he wants.......
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Old 10-28-2011, 03:48 PM   #101
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My mom called last night so I asked her why she let me go as a witch for halloween. I was actually in preschool and was 3, almost 4, at the time. She said that leading up to Halloween all the books that were read to me had lots of witches in them and the witches in kids books are usually the scariest or evilest character (shes a elementary school teacher and says this is still mostly true). She said when I first told her I wanted to be a witch she tried to explain to me that boys are not witches but I wasn’t able to understand, and just wanted to be what I thought was the scariest thing you could be. For about a week she tried to trick me into being other things including a warlock (the male equivalent of a witch), by reading books and showing me pictures of warlocks but I wasn’t having it.

Finally she gave in and got me a witches nose, hat and most embarrassingly witch nails and a petite black dress (with sleeves) from goodwill that she cut to make shorter. She said that the whole time she questioned herself by allowing me to be a witch, but decided that if that’s what I wanted to be she would at least make me a the best witch costume she could make. She also said she always felt bad for the kids who were forced to go as something that the kid didn’t want to be, but that the mom thought looked cute. She did however mention that I made a very cute witch, and will try and find some pics for me. She adamantly thinks halloween is for allowing kids to pretend to be whatever they want to be.

I guess I went to a big preschool because we had a Halloween parade where all the kids took turns going to each classroom to show off their costumes. This was also a hard part for her because she didn’t know what other people would think, or if the older kids would make fun of me. She said a couple teachers and parents did a double take when they first saw me but everyone acted normal after their first look and even commented on how good my costume was. She said a lot of the kids really liked my costume and none of them thought anything unusual of it including my brother who was about 2 years older…... until years later.

She even brought up, what I think was the original article in this thread, about a boy she saw on the news last year that dressed up as a girl for halloween. She thought that the cases were a little different because while a witch is a feminine character the reasoning why I or other kids may want to be a witch is because its scary. The boy who dressed up as the girl from Scooby doo wasn’t doing it to be scary, rather, he just liked that character. He was also older and seemed to understand the peculiarness of the decision to some extent. Either way my mom is about as liberal/progressive as it gets and now jokingly takes credit for starting this stuff. For reference this would have been in 1986. So that’s my experience as a cross dresser……..

I think there are 2 clear sides when it comes to allowing your kid to be transvestite/transgender and that theres not much room for either side to give way on their point of view. While I think parents should be supportive of most of their child’s endeavors I think parenting is more about providing guidance then encouraging your child to do whatever it is he wants. Im not a parent (which pretty much makes my opinion invalid on this issue) but while I would allow my hypothetical son be pretend or aspire to be a cowboy, army man, ninja, or even witch for a evening I wouldn’t let him be a cowboy, army man, ninja or girl year round. Im sure most little boys would be down for dressing up like a ninja year round just like most girls would be okay if her mom let her dress up as a princess all year. I don’t think allowing or encouraging your kid to do what they feel like is constructive. They arnt adults.

So it stays the same for me if your son wants to be a girl not just for pretend but in real life, in my mind hes not old enough to make that decision. Enabling him to think hes a girl by treating him like one prior to maturity is a severe form of child abuse in my opinion. What if your kid really wants to be a dog because you have pets in your home. Should you let him sleep in a crate, play with tennis balls, wear a collar and join Dog Scouts. No matter how much a little boy wants to be a dog or a girl they are not and shouldn’t be allowed to be. If they grow up and still feel that way then as an adult they can make the decision to get a sex change or change their name to Boomer The Dog. And if your kid decides when their a teenager that they just dont want to ever grow up then thats fine too. Society is now this permanent baby's parent. So just like the mom who allows her little boy to think hes a girl, we should allow and financial enable our permanent baby to do and be what ever he wants.......
That line of thinking is the same as people who say, "well if we let the gays get married, we might as well let beastiality be legal".

Most children don't want to be dogs. Kids are at that stage where they are beginning to explore who they are and there's nothing wrong with that so long as theirs structure. I mean, most kids start getting a feel for what they're into sexually speaking, by 13 or 14, I mean hell, at least I did.

I'm just against the mother pushing her desires on her son. If this is 100% the kid, under his own power, exploring his gender, I find nothing wrong with it, so long as the mother explains to him how the world is and people won't be so accepting. I mean he's not hurting anyone but himself (if that). I do wish that the mother had set a gender construct for him to work from rather than just setting him off free into the world letting him choose. You gotta parent your kid a little.

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Old 10-28-2011, 03:58 PM   #102
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You know... I'm thinking he'll probably grow out of this. Kids would crucify him in middle school. He's 7 not 17. That is unless the mothers pressuring him. They need to have the kid talk to a psychiatrist, they'd know if the kid really thought he was a girl or if the mother brainwashed him into thinking that.

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Old 10-28-2011, 05:51 PM   #103
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

In addition to going as witch for Halloween as a preschooler im techniqely a minister or revered (I forget) and personally married mlmdub and his wife, so I have unique perspectiveÖ.. and feel compelled to share itÖ

For the record my gay marriage views are complicated (primarily tax related), but for the most part you could say that im all for same sex marriage between consenting adults, but I think the bestiality argument is a moot point for you to raise as a comparison because itís a moot point for anti-gay marriage crusaders. Animals do not and should not have the same rights as humans and they dont have the ability to consent or not-consent.

My issue is that a 7 year old boy is unable to make a informed decision to decide to become a girl, dog, ninja or anything else. If the parent allows their child to make that decision and act on it, then its abuse. This is different than a parent allowing their son to pretend to be a girl, dog or ninja while pretend playing or going trick or treating. You said kids donít understand what they like sexually until their 13 or 14 and I completely agree. But prior to physical maturity its child abuse to allow a child to think they are a different sex then what they are.

At physical maturity it because a grey issue, because youre still mentally immature. I donít believe parents should openly allow their adolescent 13 or 14 year to have sex (gay or straight) with another 13 or 14 year in their house because regardless of how that kid may feel we all know a person that adolescents are still mentally immature. We also all know that its likely going to happen anyways but endorsing it is the issue. The exact same holds true, imo, for allowing your adolescent to openly explore being a transvestite. For teenagers I donít know if I necessarily consider a parent allowing their kid to openly have sex (gay or straight) or cross-dress abuse, but for a child under 13 I absolutely believe itís abuse. So depending on the age you could say theres a difference between abuse and just bad parenting.

Once a fully mature adult, he should be free to openly express himself any way he/she wants.
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Old 10-28-2011, 05:52 PM   #104
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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I'm no psychiatrist and know this is the mom's doing just by the way she looks and talks. He husband problbly dumped her for another women and now she hates men so she is changing their son into a girl.

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Old 10-28-2011, 06:29 PM   #105
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Re: What would you do if this was your son?

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You know... I'm thinking he'll probably grow out of this. Kids would crucify him in middle school. He's 7 not 17. That is unless the mothers pressuring him. They need to have the kid talk to a psychiatrist, they'd know if the kid really thought he was a girl or if the mother brainwashed him into thinking that.

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Yep, he'll/she'll be a basket case by the time he/she's halfway thru high school.
The other kids will make her/his life a living hell.
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