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The Relationships Thread

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Old 03-12-2012, 10:04 AM   #16
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Re: The Relationships Thread

You say you have moved on to another relationship but it still sounds like you still have some feeling for your ex. That the only way to explain you getting upset about something she has done. If you didn't have those feeling you would not care.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:11 AM   #17
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Somewhat off topic, but the direction of this thread reminded me of this...

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:12 AM   #18
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schneed10 View Post
I'm a big believer in completely and 100% moving on and leaving the past behind. All breakups should be permanent with no contact thereafter.
agree, ive always had to do that. Whats tough is when you work with the person. So ive said ill never do that again, but it elimnates a good pool of potentials because i spend 50 hours a week at work with alot of chicks from a lot of different areas of my job. So it feels like a catch 22.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:19 AM   #19
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpayne5 View Post
Somewhat off topic, but the direction of this thread reminded me of this...

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:23 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpayne5 View Post
Somewhat off topic, but the direction of this thread reminded me of this...

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
Lmao so true
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Old 03-12-2012, 11:31 AM   #21
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Well, to give a quick word of advice. Always take a good amount of time between relationships for yourself. You'll know how long you'll need. Take advantage of that time you're single to work on things about yourself that either need to be changed or improved. Think of it as giving yourself and your life a good "tune up" so that you'll be at your best when a new person comes along. You want to be able to devote your all to that new relationship, not have nagging "issues" from a prior. Even if you feel you're ready to move on, if there are any sort of lingering thoughts or feelings for a prior ex, you're probably not honestly ready to move on. Its normal to still have sexual desires for the ex, but if you still have them lingering on, you're going to eventually act upon them.

The hardest thing with allowing yourself time to get away from dating is the sex part. Most people place sex at such an important part of their life that they're not strong enough or willing to give up sex long enough to allow them time to focus on themselves. It's sad but true. I was able to do and I'm glad I did abstain. Was it difficult? Sure it was. And the funny thing is that my current fiancee' is saving herself for marriage, lol! So, I had to abstain even after finding a new person. But, I have no regrets from that at all.

The biggest point is to give yourself a chance to relax and reboot, even if it makes your look "weak" to your ex. You'll be glad you did so.
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Old 03-12-2012, 12:11 PM   #22
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Rave, Send her this.
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Old 03-12-2012, 01:16 PM   #23
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Re: The Relationships Thread

I disagree with those who say you always need a clean break after it is over. I think it depends on circumstance. I have some ex's who I happily will never see again but also a couple of ex's who remain nice friends.
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Old 03-12-2012, 01:20 PM   #24
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Relationships that end are like Skin cancer...you got to cut it off and let your wounds heal. Once they are healed you can go out in the Sun and enjoy all the vitamin D it has to offer.

Personally, if my relationship with you ends I don't fcking want to know you. I'll say hi if we ever see each other in public and shit but that's about it....life is too short and I could use one less "friend" I have to keep in touch with. Things are simpler this way.


Drop her like dead skin and move on!
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Last edited by saden1; 03-12-2012 at 01:23 PM.
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Old 03-12-2012, 01:52 PM   #25
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schneed10 View Post
I'm a big believer in completely and 100% moving on and leaving the past behind. All breakups should be permanent with no contact thereafter.
Good advice, definitely agree but much easier said than done especially when you're younger and don't yet have experience on your side.
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Old 03-12-2012, 02:31 PM   #26
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpayne5 View Post
Somewhat off topic, but the direction of this thread reminded me of this...

Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
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Old 03-12-2012, 02:37 PM   #27
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Re: The Relationships Thread

my "high school sweetheart" won't go away. out of college, she got a job where my mom works. she doesn't work there anymore but she babysits my niece and talks to my family. up until maybe a year ago she say things like "i was a big part of your life, i don't see how you can turn your back on me" it makes me feel bad but i have no desire to be her friend. we were teenagers, it's been years and years. leave
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Old 03-12-2012, 02:49 PM   #28
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Re: The Relationships Thread

I think a clean break is always the best way to do it. Before I met my wife, I really only had 2 serious relationships post-high school. Both lasted 1 year plus. One ended with the girlfriend I lived with cheating on me and then leaving me for the guy, the other ended with me breaking it off, and then she proceeded to take a bunch of pills and slit her wrists, landing her on suicide watch in the hospital.

So yeah, a clean break.
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Old 03-12-2012, 03:16 PM   #29
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Re: The Relationships Thread

DR you confuse me. In one thread you posted this:

ISO: Male. skateboarder. Preferably single. Inquire within.

Now you have this thread.
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Old 03-12-2012, 05:03 PM   #30
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Probably best to leave it alone, per the other comments. It's the gray area -- that middle ground, let's just be cool shit -- that tends to get us in trouble. Frankly, someone will always like the "other" more than they're letting on and hiding how they're truly feeling. So it becomes an endless, exhausting guessing game of figuring out who likes whom more and trying to interpreting feelings and motives. Here's the thing, it's not so much that people always want to get back together, as they miss that old familiar feeling. Make sense?

Basically the mental ping pong, if you allow it, can turn into a game of manipulation. I'm talking about to well meaning people. I think we are inherently selfish when it comes to romance and love, so honesty is relative and should be in the context of is this person brutally self-aware. If they're not, keep it moving.

You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. You probably just needed to air this out in forum, so to speak, without judgement or folks prying into other areas of your bidness.

12th's 2 cents.

Last edited by 12thMan; 03-12-2012 at 05:06 PM.
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