Warpath  

Home | Forums | Salary Cap Info | Shop | Donate | Stay Connected




Go Back   Warpath > Off-Topic Discussion > Parking Lot


RIP Mitch Hedberg

Parking Lot


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-01-2005, 12:04 AM   #1
Impact Rookie
 
NY_Skinsfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Albany, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 838
RIP Mitch Hedberg

A great comedian............
NY_Skinsfan is offline   Reply With Quote

Advertisements
Old 04-01-2005, 01:00 AM   #2
The Starter
 
Bozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Ina, house
Age: 33
Posts: 1,034
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

I was going to see him live in baltimore this weekend....I was so psyched for it too.
Bozzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 12:52 PM   #3
Impact Rookie
 
Cush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Northern Virginia
Age: 36
Posts: 963
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

"When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers they'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That's a double whammy! We need help! Bush search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes."
Cush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 01:50 PM   #4
Puppy Kicker
 
Daseal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Arlington, Virginia
Age: 31
Posts: 8,178
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Im horrible with names, but was this the guy who used to stare at the ground while doing his act?
__________________
Best. Player. Available.
Daseal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 01:56 PM   #5
Impact Rookie
 
NY_Skinsfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Albany, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 838
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daseal
Im horrible with names, but was this the guy who used to stare at the ground while doing his act?

yeah, he has the long hair that covered most of his face and he stared at the ground all the time.

Here's his site.
NY_Skinsfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 02:06 PM   #6
Playmaker
 
BrudLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE
Posts: 3,494
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daseal
Im horrible with names, but was this the guy who used to stare at the ground while doing his act?
You might also be thinking of Steven Wright.
__________________
There's nowhere to go but up. Or down. I guess we could stay where we are, too.
BrudLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 02:09 PM   #7
Impact Rookie
 
NY_Skinsfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Albany, NY
Age: 41
Posts: 838
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Some of his quotes..

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice."

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

I find a duck's opinion of me depends heavily on whether or not I have bread.
NY_Skinsfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 02:20 PM   #8
Playmaker
 
BrudLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE
Posts: 3,494
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Still more:

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She made it half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

Pickles are cucumbers that sold out.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said "I hear music." As if there's any other way to take it in.

2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.
__________________
There's nowhere to go but up. Or down. I guess we could stay where we are, too.
BrudLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2005, 04:12 PM   #9
Impact Rookie
 
Cush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Northern Virginia
Age: 36
Posts: 963
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

"When we were on acid we'd go into the woods, because when you're in the woods tripping there's less likely chance you'll run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear, that' was even more of a buzzkill. My friend Dwayne was standing there raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear and he put his arm around my shoulder and said Mitchell, "Smokey is way more intense in person. He's an asshole."
Cush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2005, 12:16 AM   #10
The Starter
 
Bozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Ina, house
Age: 33
Posts: 1,034
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

Every McDonald’s commercial end the same way, right? McDonald’s commercials end like this “prices and participation may vary.” Now I wanna open up a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say, “Cheeseburgers? Nope… we got spaghetti… and blankets! But we’re not affiliated with that clown. He attracts too many children.
Bozzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2005, 12:27 AM   #11
Pro Bowl
 
SKINSnCANES's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New Jersey
Age: 31
Posts: 5,408
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

this guy was hillarious. I would listen to his cd all the time iwth my friend. We quote his jokes all the time, and were doing it last night when we could out. It definitly made us both sad.
__________________
"I'm used to winning, coming from the University of Miami. " Clinton Portis
SKINSnCANES is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2005, 12:30 AM   #12
‎\m/
 
Mattyk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Age: 41
Posts: 79,438
Re: RIP Mitch Hedberg

I just saw him tonight on Comedy Central, damn this guy was really funny, what a shame!
__________________
Support The Warpath! | Warpath Shop
Mattyk is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:12 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
This site is not officially affiliated with the Washington Redskins or the NFL.
Page generated in 0.24912 seconds with 9 queries

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC5

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25