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Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 07-04-2013, 11:19 PM   #4486
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 07-08-2013, 10:00 AM   #4487
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish: The most highbrow jokes in the world:

1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”

2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”

5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”

6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”

7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.

8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.

9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.

10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.

11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.

12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.

13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”

14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”

17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.

18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”

19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.

22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.

23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”

25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
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Old 07-12-2013, 10:36 PM   #4488
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Can't believe some newscast did this out in CA.







Wow.
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Old 07-13-2013, 04:02 AM   #4489
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

...it was a Fox station, I believe it.
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Old 07-15-2013, 02:03 PM   #4490
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giantone View Post
...it was a Fox station, I believe it.
And your point is?


3rd one is the best one...and most obvious.
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Old 07-15-2013, 08:28 PM   #4491
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 07-18-2013, 09:54 AM   #4492
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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"So let me get this straight. We have the event of the year on TV with millions watching around the world... and people want a punt, pass, and kick competition to be the halftime entertainment?? Folks, don't quit your day jobs."- Matty
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:01 PM   #4493
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Sketchy Andy's 10 Sketchiest BASE Jumps Ever - YouTube
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:52 PM   #4494
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

lol that video was great
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Old 07-29-2013, 06:58 PM   #4495
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

If you get a chance watch this show. My coworkers showed me this last week and I was on the verge of tears from laughing so hard. New season starts in September.
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Old 07-29-2013, 07:14 PM   #4496
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 08-08-2013, 12:31 PM   #4497
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Stupid reporter knocks down Jenga Tower - YouTube
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Old 08-13-2013, 03:43 PM   #4498
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Have you ever been so drunk... You had to sing to your cat?

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Old 08-16-2013, 03:07 PM   #4499
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

I never eat fast food burgers.....


But now I'm tempted.
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Old 08-16-2013, 03:27 PM   #4500
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