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Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 08-29-2013, 03:01 PM   #4516
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

A Letter From Fred - *OFFICIAL DOCUMENTARY* "Oh Sweet Lorraine" An Amazing Song Written by Fred! - YouTube
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Old 09-03-2013, 02:16 PM   #4517
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Coworkers Nationwide Embrace Tearfully After Painful 3-Day Separation

WASHINGTON—With tears of relief streaming down their faces, coworkers around the nation wrapped one another in jubilant embraces Tuesday to celebrate the blessed end of their Labor Day weekend separation, sources confirmed. “I missed you so much! Thank God we’re back together again!” employees across the United States reportedly said to one another between whoops of joy, all while lifting each other up in emotional bear hugs. “Worst three days of my life! It felt like months. The only thing I thought about the whole time—while I was sleeping in and having backyard cookouts—was your faces and how much I missed them.
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Old 09-03-2013, 02:26 PM   #4518
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Onion Sports is preparing fans for the upcoming 2013 NFL season by ranking players at every position. Here’s a helpful guide to the league’s best cornerbacks.

10. Patrick Peterson: Large physical corner with blazing speed who should have been ranked in the top three, but the intern ****ed up and now we’ll never hear the end of it from bitchy know-it-alls

9. Cortland Finnegan: Since following head coach Jeff Fisher from the Titans to the Rams in 2012, Finnegan has proven that he’s still among the league’s best at being a dirty, piece-of-shit cheap-shot artist

8. DeAngelo Hall: Has an amazing knack for gaining separation from a receiver

7. Janoris Jenkins: Surprised critics in his rookie season when he finished with 73 tackles, 14 pass defenses, and zero drug arrests

6. Champ Bailey: We’ve heard he’s good; honestly, we’re not sure what the criteria for identifying a good cornerback is exactly

5. Johnathan Joseph: The Texans cornerback is feared around the league for his fierce backpedal

4. Tim Jennings: Jennings had a league-high nine interceptions last year, though he ultimately hurt his team as each one resulted in the Bears’ offense getting the ball

3. Antonio Cromartie: Relies on excellent size, speed, and explosiveness to fertilize ovum

2. Darrelle Revis: Year after year, Revis is the only player on this list you’ve heard of

1. Richard Sherman: Raised eyebrows this offseason when he declared himself the best cornerback in the league, but he's a professional football player, so he would probably be the go-to authority on this kind of thing
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Old 09-03-2013, 02:55 PM   #4519
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Loved the Jennings one.
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Old 09-03-2013, 03:58 PM   #4520
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

#8 is pretty good .
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Old 09-03-2013, 04:09 PM   #4521
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

The Onion is so awesome.


Andy Reid Motivates Chiefs With Inspirational Speech About Great Burrito Place | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


Tony Romo Notices Star On Cowboys Helmet For First Time | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


Obama Not Sure How To Tell Nation This, But He Ran Over Jimmy Carter With Car Last Night | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Old 09-03-2013, 04:25 PM   #4522
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

The Tony Romo Star article is a classic. freakin hilarious
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Old 09-03-2013, 11:00 PM   #4523
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Old 09-04-2013, 04:17 PM   #4524
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

1. I have to find this burrito place with the fresh-grilled tortillas.

2. Romo's upside-down '6'...hilarious.

3. Masochist Dog Enjoys Being Walked Around On Leash While Naked | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Old 09-04-2013, 04:51 PM   #4525
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattyk View Post
Thats so wierd, I have a cat that looks just like that
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Old 09-06-2013, 09:39 AM   #4526
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

I find this both funny AND ACCURATE. My white trash neighbors who moved here from NJ fit everything stated on this page. I can't wait until they go back.


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Old 09-06-2013, 05:06 PM   #4527
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

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Originally Posted by Monkeydad View Post
I find this both funny AND ACCURATE. My white trash neighbors who moved here from NJ fit everything stated on this page. I can't wait until they go back



This coming from a man who lives in the same state as the Eagles .
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Old 09-07-2013, 01:54 PM   #4528
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

An oldie but a goodie:

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help my country, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."
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Old 09-07-2013, 01:59 PM   #4529
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

^Yeah, that's a classic. Are we going to break out the jokes now? 'Cause I'm still upset that my "Jokes Thread" got locked. CB59:
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Old 09-09-2013, 11:11 AM   #4530
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Re: Super Happy Fun Thread!

Posted in another Locker Room thread but I want to stash it here so I can find it easily all season.

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