Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=over the mountain;643384]i guess it brings up another really annoying phrase called C.Y.A. or cover your ass.[/quote]

I pretty much shudder when I hear "draft a CYA memo, will ya?" I hate the acronym and drafting CYA memos makes me feel like a total sleezeball.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

The word "synergy." Synergize this.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

synergy, etc

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=SmootSmack;643440]LOL. My current supervisor actually doesn't talk this way. Everything for him is in terms of a football game[/quote]

Ugh I had a manager like that once.

"Ok who's going to QB this project?"

"We need a clean handoff on this, no fumbling allowed"

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

"SOL" rubs me wrong too

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

Organic. I want this to be a truly "Organic Process," i.e. make shit up as you go along...

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=BleedBurgundy;644586]Organic. I want this to be a truly "Organic Process," i.e. make shit up as you go along...[/quote]

I use that but when referring to something specific such as "organic traffic" (when referring to how people get to your website, etc)

Business Jargon Generator
 

[url=http://www.mwls.co.uk/jargon.htm]Business Jargon Generator[/url]
Sexual Harassment Problems - Strategic, team-based culture

We're being sued: Pro-active, team-based paradigm

Drunk at the Christmas Party: Totally, enhanced culture

Asset Misappropriation (A form of fraud usually involving paying money to a dummy company you set up for yourself for goods that don't exist): Digital, integrated competence

Office Gossip: Radical, focused solution

New Filing System: Harmonized, relational competence

New hot piece of ass: Lifetime, integrated simulation

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

I'm trying to bring pwnage into my office. Damn I just pwned that client! I totally pwned that conference call.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=Mattyk;740582]I'm trying to bring pwnage into my office. Damn I just pwned that client! I totally pwned that conference call.[/quote]

How is that a win-win for you and the client? You'd be better served integrating a team based, holistic approach to client engagement. Remember we need to stay in lockstep with our competitors who are currently acquiring all of the low hanging fruit. Filter your leads into prospects and integrate them into our customer base. We need to make better use of our human capital and go green. Think over what I have said and then we'll touch base at Charlie's Topless Bar.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

Regarding our customers, my former boss always used to say " I hope they dont rattle our sabres".

WTF is that????

:smashfrea

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

what about when you have that upcoming monday holiday off and on friday the boss says "yall done so well this week, go ahead and take monday off too"

Yes he pulled that line out once again this year.

Har, F8cking, Har

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

workin hard or hardly workin

and my personal favorite..

get your hands off my boobs...



freaking prudes.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=GMScud;644296]The word "synergy." Synergize this.[/quote]

I saw a book in one of our school libraries that was titled "SYNERGISM". I can't help but laugh every time I'm there and see it with that dull, yellow 2" binding.

Re: The Most Painfully Annoying Business Jargon
 

[quote=PWNED;740625]workin hard or hardly workin

and my personal favorite..

[B]get your hands off my boobs... [/B]



freaking prudes.[/quote]

Nice