I found out about the site from prosportsdaily.com. Not saying it was a bad site per say, it just didn't have the up-to-the-minute gossip that I enjoy daily here! Not only that, it's like I can hang out with a group of good friends even when I'm at work.

[url]http://www.collegehumor.com/?image_id=61140[/url]

Thats why I miss college in Miami. I found this the other night on college humor.com. It doesnt say it in the description but I know all of those girls, and that its on south beach... ya gotta love the scenery down there.

one of the funnier things I saw in college was the guy that would end up becoming my best friend and roomate, during my freshmen year.

He got bored, so he picked up a brand new bottle of absolut and chugged it. An entire fifth in less than a minute. Things were fun for a brief period of time, then he left to puke. I went to check on him and he was in the first stall of the bathroom. It was a dorm bathroom with about ten stalls in a row. I asked if he needed help and he drunkly responded, 'im fine, im fine, its not UNICOs job to clean up after me so I am going to clean up my mess.' UNICO is the name of the company that cleans the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later I went back in the bathroom to check on him, he was three stalls down, have puked in each of the stalls inbetween, and just kept saying that he still wants to clean up but isnt done puking yet.

lol, by the end of the night he has puked in 7 of the stalls, and didnt clean up one of them. It was just so funny going in there and seeing him down a little farther with a little trail following him, lol

[QUOTE=SKINSnCANES]one of the funnier things I saw in college was the guy that would end up becoming my best friend and roomate, during my freshmen year.

He got bored, so he picked up a brand new bottle of absolut and chugged it. An entire fifth in less than a minute. Things were fun for a brief period of time, then he left to puke. I went to check on him and he was in the first stall of the bathroom. It was a dorm bathroom with about ten stalls in a row. I asked if he needed help and he drunkly responded, 'im fine, im fine, its not UNICOs job to clean up after me so I am going to clean up my mess.' UNICO is the name of the company that cleans the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later I went back in the bathroom to check on him, he was three stalls down, have puked in each of the stalls inbetween, and just kept saying that he still wants to clean up but isnt done puking yet.

lol, by the end of the night he has puked in 7 of the stalls, and didnt clean up one of them. It was just so funny going in there and seeing him down a little farther with a little trail following him, lol[/QUOTE]


there we go...now that's a funny story.

i was that guy once...not for seven stalls but spent the night in a dorm bathroom puking. everytime i got up to leave i had to turn around and puke again so i ended up hitting a sink, a toilet and one of those stand up urinals. what fond memories of college.

And then the dry heaving starts... ARGH. Hence the reason I stick to beer. I get no hangover and I don't puke.

my fraternity started a tradition of our biannual Wine and Cheese Party (one each semester)...sounds wussy? well, it's great because we could get more chicks there because we had an abundance of wine instead of beer...

well, the semester after i graduated, i went back the weekend of wine and cheese, and proceeded to get hammered on cheap merlot and budweiser. towards the end of the night, 4 of us start passing around the last jug (yes jug) of merlot, shouting "cannonball" (ala Caddyshack) before each swig. as each one went down, my stomach started getting worse and worse...so eventually, i make my way for the loo.

saw dinner, various cheeses and other snacks come back up with the wine and beer...then proceeded to pass out on the toliet. the guys that were left started talking sports trivia...and everytime i heard a question i knew the answer to, i would wake up, lift my head off the toliet seat, open the bathroom door, yell out the answer, close the door and pass back out.

still a classic that my friends tell about me...worse part was the next day, hungover like a champ, my g/f came down from her school (7 hours away) to surprise me...she dragged my ass off the couch and got one of the best hangover foods ever invented...supreme chalupas from taco bell.

something about really greasy food that helps the hangover...after taco bell, went to the beer store, got a 30, and started drinking again...

Why not a cold box of Franzia? Hahahah. I know exactly what you're saying about greasy food. I CRAVE it after a night of drinking. I'm like a pregnant woman.

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]Why not a cold box of Franzia? Hahahah. I know exactly what you're saying about greasy food. I CRAVE it after a night of drinking. I'm like a pregnant woman.[/QUOTE]

you're like a pregnant woman? since when to pregnant women go out for a night of drinking in the first place? if you're around any pregnant women who do that smack them in the head and tell them to stop.

Come on, you know all about those pregnant women that drink and binge on greasy foods? J/K :) I'm only talking about the craving greasy foods part. And I'm rarely around any pregnant women (unless my girlfriend knows something I don't).

Here's some pictures that I found on some of my old college CDs. To preface this story, basically this was where my friends said they would pay for my drinks the whole night if I acted mentally handicapped the entire night. Granted, it wasn't the most politically correct thing at the time, but it was damn funny. Go to the Warpath Picture Gallery and look at the last two pictures under TheMalcolmConnection2.

The last picture is a truck we saw driving that same night.

One of Malcolm's college buddies anonymously sent me this exclusive video footage of one of MC's college experiences

[url]http://www.hawt.net/content/flash/821e27837cab4044147077ba2a441dae.swf[/url]

nothin' but love Malcolm!

Hahahaha... I feel like I've been on Punk'd. Seriously when you said that, I was like "Dear God, what has just turned up?"

Re: College stories
 

I remembered a classic drinking story this weekend:

My roommate and I went home to his parents place for the weekend, at that time I think we were 19 or 20. We hooked up with his brother who was about 24 and had his own place. For some reason it seemed like a good idea to see if we could polish off a case and a half of beer between the two of us, his brother wisely choose to not participate in the festivities.

18 beers each was the goal, and we almost made it. Over the course of 3 hours we each drank 17 beers and needless to say we were both stupid drunk. I ended up passing out on the couch, my buddy passed out on the floor.

Here's where the story gets funny, I wake up in the middle of the night to see my buddy stumbling around the living room, his pants half down, and he's pissing all over the place while he's stumbling around. I was still so plastered I couldn't move or even say anything, I just laid there watching this whole mess go down. So he gets done pissing all over the floor and curtains, he tries to button up his pants but he stumbles backward, grabbing hold of the curtains in the process, and crashes to the floor pulling the curtains down off the windows.

At this point his brother wakes up and comes running into the room to see what the hell is going on. His brother wasn't as drunk as we were, but he still had a few in him. So his brother comes running into the room and trips on something, falling into a glass shelving unit that was on the wall, BOOM glass is flying everywhere, his brother hits the deck, my buddy is still on the floor trying to button his pants up, he's mumbling incoherently, and here I am just watching, almost like an out of body experience.

That's where things got fuzzy again and I guess I just passed out again. I wake up the next morning and the living room looked like a disaster area. The curtains are off the windows, the sun is blazing into the room, my buddy is sleeping on the floor with his pants still half off, covered in piss, there's glass everywhere from the shelves...

What did we learn here today kids? Don't try to drink 18 beers in 3 hours. Nothing good can come from it.

Re: College stories
 

Glad you brought this thread back up. Honestly my favorite stories are post-college where I'm living alone in my apartment.

[B]DISCLAIMER: The following story is not meant for kiddies.[/B]







So anyway, my friend is about to move to TN so he has this HUGE party and makes about 200 Jell-O shots out of vodka, rum and I think 151. For the guys he had a keg, the shots were simply panty droppers for the girls he invited to the party.

So basically I'm totally shitty and ready to call it a night. My stipulation was that I get to have a bed to sleep in when I turned in. No problem. I go upstairs and pass out. I wake up with lots of noise coming up the stairs and I'm super pissed. I go outside, my buddy and his friend called "Nightrain" who reminds me a lot of Sean Taylor (won the Virginia toughman competition) are watching these two girls completely naked having sex.

Now, before you give me the "you should have worn your balls on the outside" lecture, remember how shitty I was...

...so I watched this with amusement for a good 5-6 minutes and went back to sleep. 10 minutes later I wake up to the sound of balls slapping ass. My friend is gashmoging her gaflabity with his googus making the whole bed rattle. I hit him so hard it knocked him off her. To this day I cannot look that girl in the eye.

Re: College stories
 

I never saw this thread. I guess I'll read through it to get ready for college.

The problem is [URL="http://youtube.com/watch?v=o3o1D09jNQA&search=university%20of%20maryland"]this video in itself makes me not want to go to UMCP [/URL] :doh:

















:doh:

Re: College stories
 

Double post?? O well more post count for me :D

Re: College stories
 

[quote=BigSKINBauer]I never saw this thread. I guess I'll read through it to get ready for college.

The problem is [URL="http://youtube.com/watch?v=o3o1D09jNQA&search=university%20of%20maryland"]this video in itself makes me not want to go to UMCP [/URL] :doh:

















:doh:[/quote]

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh.

How many damn times is that girl going to say UH OH?! :mad:

Re: College stories
 

I never saw the college story thread. I gotta get in on this. Here's one of my favorites.

I went to the University of Richmond and graduated in 2001. So I was a freshman for the 1997-1998 school year, and of course being a young impressionable frosh, I was looking to find the best party I could. One night I ended up at a fraternity party for the frat I ended up joining one year later. There was beer pong. There was Asshole. And there was caps. I played them all, and I was merry. So it's about 1:00 am and the party is just starting to get good... which is exactly when you're supposed to take the party to the next level.

My roommate and I ran back to our dorm room to grab his potato cannon which he made out of PVC pipe and rubber cement. We grabbed a box of clementines at the store that week, you know the little mini oranges that come in a big crate in the produce section. So we hauled the potato cannon and the clementines back towards the party.

The house which held the party backed up to the school's Intramural Fields, a perfect place to unleash hell. So we gathered some friends, set up camp and began firing clementines into the air. The sound of the cannon brought none other than UR senior Shawn Barber out of his house nearby, and he was immediately intrigued by our arsenal. He watched as my roomate fired clementines into the air as the rest of us tried to run under them and catch them on the other side of the field.

Then Shawn Barber looked at my 5'9", 220 pound friend who was not fleet of foot, and most certainly not graceful, and said something I'll never forget. "Damn! That's the worst thing I ever saw! Boy, you should not be running. Do us all a favor and never run again. Shit, I gotta go wash my eyes out."

True story. I was pretty ecstatic when the Skins drafted him.

Re: College stories
 

Great Shawn Barber story! We should have held onto him. :(

Re: College stories
 

Another short Shawn Barber story. It snowed once that freshman year so we all headed out to play some tackle football on the IM fields. On the walk back my roommate was carrying the football as we walked in front of the library on our way to the dorms. We passed by Shawn Barber, and I guess he saw the football in my roommate's hands and just reacted instinctively, because out of nowhere he just LAYS my roommate out, textbook tackle. Like a Larry Tate, office linebacker type tackle.

My roommate thought it was hilarious and luckily wasn't hurt. I laughed my balls off. But wouldn't it be cool to say you got tackled by Shawn Barber?

Re: College stories
 

[quote=Schneed10]Another short Shawn Barber story. It snowed once that freshman year so we all headed out to play some tackle football on the IM fields. On the walk back my roommate was carrying the football as we walked in front of the library on our way to the dorms. We passed by Shawn Barber, and I guess he saw the football in my roommate's hands and just reacted instinctively, because out of nowhere he just LAYS my roommate out, textbook tackle. Like a Larry Tate, office linebacker type tackle.

My roommate thought it was hilarious and luckily wasn't hurt. I laughed my balls off. But wouldn't it be cool to say you got tackled by Shawn Barber?[/quote]

Did he know your roommate at all??

That's pretty damn funny if he didn't.

What is he a robot or something? Me see football me go tackle!

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]Daseal, I never played quarters a lot, but I did play a lot of beer pong (some people get offended if I don't call it beirut). Either way you want to say it, that too, is a classic game.[/QUOTE]

Damn that, it's beer pong!!

Re: College stories
 

Okay, so this is my first year at an actual university. I'd share stories, but most times, I don't really remember what the hell went on the night before.

One of the coolest things about being in New Orleans is that bars serve anyone down here. I'm 21, but none of my friends are so we can actually go to bars and get trashed. Now, every Wednesday, this bar called TJ Quill's, the one I got robbed coming back from the night before the Super Bowl, has Swillers night. Basically it's a 32 ounce cup and you can get anything but top shelf liquor for $5 if you have one $6 if you don't. So, I go to my friend's room and we take about 4-5 shots. (Cuervo for me, SoCo for my friend and Bacardi O chased by Smirnoff twisted for my other friend...how gay is that?) Anyway, I usually get Tanqueray and Tonic and my friends end up getting Long Island Ice Teas.

The best part about going to Swillers is that I have an 8 am class the next day, so I usually get there hungover and about 15 to 20 mins late. Good times...

Also, being in New Orleans we make our way to the Quarter every now and then, but we're pretty far from there in comparison to the bars we usually go to. The best night, though, was when we had 6 people in a cab on our way there. 1 in the front, 4 guys sitting in the back and a girl laying in our laps in the back seat. Now, the night went relatively well, so when we left, we needed a cab for 8. That was quite possibly the most ridiculous ride home ever. 8 people in a standard cab. Fitting 5 guys and 3 girls into a Lincoln Town Car is great when you're hammered. We're even engineers...lol

Re: College stories
 

Hahahaha, he had a chaser for Bacardi O? This is a "he" right?

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]Hahahaha, he had a chaser for Bacardi O? This is a "he" right?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, in his defense, he did just start drinking recently, however, shooting Bacardi O makes him kind of a p***y, but chasing it with a bitch brew, is just too much. And he wonders why shots don't mess him up...

We always **** with him for not drinking like any normal college guy.

Which actually leads me into another funny story about him...drinks he's tried:

Appletini and a Cosmo

Now, that's obviously not the entire list, just the gay ones (which also depends on your opinion of Disarrono, cause he likes that too)...lol. I haven't tried either. Anything that is actually pink, I can't stand around drinking. It just doesn't work for me. And he gets really pissed when we **** with him about drinking them.

Re: College stories
 

WOW! I started drinking my first year of college and I learned on King Cobra and Hurricane.

Sounds like a buddy of mine, but he's one of those guys who is so self confident he'll order a Pina Colada when we all go out and not give a shit.

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]WOW! I started drinking my first year of college and I learned on King Cobra and Hurricane.

Sounds like a buddy of mine, but he's one of those guys who is so self confident he'll order a Pina Colada when we all go out and not give a shit.[/QUOTE]

I'm self confident, I just don't drink women's drinks. He doesn't like beer and he hates Tequila. He doesn't like Gin either. I don't really get him. He's kinda "sensitive" if you will...lol. He's a cool guy, but we always give him shit about what he drinks. He also drinks a lot of Parrot's Bay.

Re: College stories
 

I drink Piña Coladas. Gotta represent my Puerto Rican roots!

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TAFKAS]I drink Piña Coladas. Gotta represent my Puerto Rican roots![/QUOTE]

How often are we talking? Cause I just can't understand how people can drink sweet ass drinks all the time? I had a few Mai Ties (sp?) and felt terrible the next day. Sneaks up too quick cause it doesn't taste like alcohol...

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=jdlea]How often are we talking? Cause I just can't understand how people can drink sweet ass drinks all the time? I had a few Mai Ties (sp?) and felt terrible the next day. Sneaks up too quick cause it doesn't taste like alcohol...[/QUOTE]

Not that often really. More of a Rum and Coke, Rum and Sprite kind of guy (Rum is what really represents my Puerto Rican roots). I'm just saying I have no problem ordering a Pina Colada if I want to

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TAFKAS]Not that often really. More of a Rum and Coke, Rum and Sprite kind of guy (Rum is what really represents my Puerto Rican roots). I'm just saying I have no problem ordering a Pina Colada if I want to[/QUOTE]

I could order one, I just don't particularly like them.

As for Rum & Coke, I used to be a huge fan. However, I just didn't drink soda any time except for when I was mixing it with alcohol. I just recently switched to Gin & Tonic.

Re: College stories
 

I used to drink Captain & Coke like it was ice water, now I can't stand it, way too sweet for my taste now.

Re: College stories
 

[quote=jdlea]I'm self confident, I just don't drink women's drinks. He doesn't like beer and he hates Tequila. He doesn't like Gin either. I don't really get him. He's kinda "sensitive" if you will...lol. He's a cool guy, but we always give him shit about what he drinks. He also drinks a lot of Parrot's Bay.[/quote]

Does he also kiss a lot of men?

J/K

I love giving people shit about that. I'm not above drinking girly drinks if that's all that's around...

...and I'm at my OWN house.
...and my fiancee is sitting there with a sign around her neck saying "<--Bones me."

Re: College stories
 

[quote=Mattyk72]Did he know your roommate at all??

That's pretty damn funny if he didn't.

What is he a robot or something? Me see football me go tackle![/quote]

No he didn't know my roommate at all. Richmond is a small school and everyone got to know each other a bit, kinda like high school. Barber was a cool guy, everyone on campus knew him and he was cool to everyone. Just acted like one of the regular students even though he knew he was going to the NFL. I guess he just decided he wanted to lay a beating on my roommate!

Plus it was snowy out. You can get leveled in the snow and it doesn't hurt. So Barber probably figured it was fine. I know I laughed my ass off.

Re: College stories
 

Great college shots (good for the ladies, gets em droppin panties):

PepperMint Patty: Squirt some Hershey's chocolate syrup in your mouth and take a shot of Ice 101, swish around for a second.

Snickers Shot: 1 ounce kalhua, half ounce Frangelico, half ounce Amaretto, shake over ice, strain. Tastes like a Snickers Bar.

Re: College stories
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection]...and my fiancee is sitting there with a sign around her neck saying "<--Bones me."[/quote]

LOL

Re: College stories
 

[quote=Schneed10]Great college shots (good for the ladies, gets em droppin panties):

PepperMint Patty: Squirt some Hershey's chocolate syrup in your mouth and take a shot of Ice 101, swish around for a second.

Snickers Shot: 1 ounce kalhua, half ounce Frangelico, half ounce Amaretto, shake over ice, strain. Tastes like a Snickers Bar.[/quote]

Cement mixer: take one shot of baileys, hold it in your mouth, then add a shot of lime juice. Mix well and enjoy.

Re: College stories
 

My fiancee definitely loves the Peppermint Patty.





It gets me to drop my panties like THAT *snap*.

Re: College stories
 

Seriously though, the drinks you guys mentioned are definitely my "I've been with you for almost eight years and sometimes I need to make some drinks to get the mood rollin'"

Re: College stories
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection]My fiancee definitely loves the Peppermint Patty.





It gets me to drop my panties like THAT *snap*.[/QUOTE]

whose panties are we talking about here? Yours or your fiancee?