TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Now let me remind you that TAFKAS is the driving force behind me doing a chat. My humor gets to an all-time low when the Skins play like this. Since we're all done discussing them, this chat is for NON-SKINS questions only. It can be around the NFL, it can be about that bodacious sub you had last night for dinner.

Consider this our group hug to the entire forum. This group hug does not apply to those under the age of 18. I don't want to be on Dateline again.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[B]Speaking of being on Dateline[/B]: can I list my appearance on their "To Catch a Predator" segment as a credit when I apply for the Screen Actors Guild? (Plus, I can save money and just use my mugshot as my 8x10 glossy)

Do you think my health insurance company with pay for my treatment for Redskins-related depression?

What is TMC dressing up as for Halloween this year?

Do you think I can get fired for "forgetting" to wear pants to work tomorrow?

And finally, should I be afraid of Kim Jong Il or is it normal that I see him as a little human-teddy bear with really big glasses?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

I'll tell you ahead of time, I'm Bob the Builder for Halloween. Last year I was the UPS guy.

My fiancee for some reason wants me in these outfits. I don't know why.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Long time reader, first time asker....

Are you as excited as I am about the new "Jimmie Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausages" on a stick?

Looks delicious.

[IMG]http://www.junkfoodblog.com/uploaded_images/jimmy-dean-pancake-sausage-chocolate-chip-735947.jpg[/IMG]

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[quote=RobH4413;232989]Long time reader, first time asker....

Are you as excited as I am about the new "Jimmie Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausages" on a stick?

Looks delicious.

[IMG]http://www.junkfoodblog.com/uploaded_images/jimmy-dean-pancake-sausage-chocolate-chip-735947.jpg[/IMG][/quote]

Fellow Daily Show viewer, I see.

Bet you never knew I got the ill peripheral.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[QUOTE=TheMalcolmConnection;232986]I'll tell you ahead of time, I'm Bob the Builder for Halloween. Last year I was the UPS guy.

My fiancee for some reason wants me in these outfits. I don't know why.[/QUOTE]

I may dress up in some hunting gear then buy a Dick Chaney mask and a toy rifle. The only problem is that I hate wearing masks because they restrict my drinking.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

One more question and I'll be done:

[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXSYDYBtFcg"]You jackin' it?[/URL]

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

tmc, are you related to jason jones?
and what do you see for the second half of the season?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[quote=Schneed10;232991]Fellow Daily Show viewer, I see.

Bet you never knew I got the ill peripheral.[/quote]
I couldn't help myself... and love the 2nd line

b-boys making with the freak freak

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Malcolm,

My sex life latley has mirrored the Washington Redskins. Alot of talent, alot of potential, I work hard, have the finesse, but dumb penalties (spilling beer on girl), poor clock managment (waiting too long in the night to make my move), and bad playcalling (going with the wrong lines), have really held me back...how do I get back on track?!

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

I'll be helping TMC out this week cause he needs one hand to wipe away his tears, so feel free to throw some questions my way as well.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Who is PWNED?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

What do I do about my growing sophmore beer gut?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[QUOTE=TAFKAS;233532]I'll be helping TMC out this week cause he needs one hand to wipe away his tears, so feel free to throw some questions my way as well.[/QUOTE]
So, when are you and TMC going through with your civil union?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

TMC, is it true that you will be on the next installment of Dancing with the Stars? And if not, will you be replacing Kenny Mayne as the next Progressive spokesman?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

TMC,

Is it true what you told me last night after everything, or was it all just a lie?

Please reply to this in a private message.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Do you feel the recent "no fruit in beer" Man Law, established by the Round Table, has gone too far?

Applies to TAF.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Awesome stuff so far guys. Remember, ask TAF some questions too.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Are you with Christ brah!?

Applies to TAF

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

TAF,

Do Sean Salisbury and Len Pastabelly touch you in places?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

better yet, do they touch each other?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

I am very excited for holloween weekend here at UMD because i can only assume all the girls will be dressed pretty slutty. You seem to have your costume down but i have no clue what to do. What is a good idea that will impress and be relatively cheap?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Do pigs fly? ... and can I get a bottle of vodka to wash down the bitter taste in my mouth after watching the Redskin lose...???

Is there anything anyone can do to boost the morale of this team???

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

For Tafkas:

If you were to guess, how much would you say Chris Berman weighs? Would you have to guess?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

TAF, could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Does Crat have online tourettes? Is Hail from MCUSA! a disorder or fetish of somekind? I'm genuinly concerned... I know I shouldn't be, but I am, and it's driving me insane.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

A word I know, six letters it contains. Subtract just one, and twelve is what remains. What is the word?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[QUOTE=Riggo44;234283]A word I know, six letters it contains. Subtract just one, and twelve is what remains. What is the word?[/QUOTE]

that was too easy Riddler

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMOP6Na50go"]Seriously, how awesome do I look in this video?[/URL]

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, should I expect my family to realize that there are now 3 games on TV that day? And, is Black Friday the best day in which to eat leftover turkey sandwiches and scratch my ass, or should I be out getting those last minute Christmas presents?

Go with Christ, Brah.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

oh. right. question for TAF.

TAF, is it true that you're such a hard-on when it comes to n00bies because you're under the impression that it hurts you more than them?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

OK TAFKAS try this one.;)

You dare not offend nor disappoint Great Uncle Willy lest he disown you. He has placed $2000 in your hands to bet on the outcome of the world series, which is a baseball contest won by whichever of two teams first wins 4 games. Willy’s $2000 was given to you in advance of the series. At the end of the series he expects you to return to him either $4000 if the team he chose wins, or nothing if it loses.

But you can find nobody who will accept bets on the entire world series. However, there are wagerers who will take on even-odds bets, in any amount(s), on each game individually. What strategy for placing bets on individual games will achieve the cumulative result Willy expects?


Note: This task was reputedly set before job-seekers at a Wall Street brokerage.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Now for a real question... TAFKAS, if you could be Dan Snyder this coming off season what if any kind of changes would you make?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Man TAFKAS getting drilled lol

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Should I be mixing scotch with malt liquor when drinking at tailgates, or champagne with my local restaurant's dish water?

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[QUOTE=Riggo44;234392]OK TAFKAS try this one.;)

You dare not offend nor disappoint Great Uncle Willy lest he disown you. He has placed $2000 in your hands to bet on the outcome of the world series, which is a baseball contest won by whichever of two teams first wins 4 games. Willy’s $2000 was given to you in advance of the series. At the end of the series he expects you to return to him either $4000 if the team he chose wins, or nothing if it loses.

But you can find nobody who will accept bets on the entire world series. However, there are wagerers who will take on even-odds bets, in any amount(s), on each game individually. What strategy for placing bets on individual games will achieve the cumulative result Willy expects?


Note: This task was reputedly set before job-seekers at a Wall Street brokerage.[/QUOTE]

Mmmhmmm....I know all about Susquehanna and their poker tournaments

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[QUOTE=TAFKAS;234471]Mmmhmmm....I know all about Susquehanna and their poker tournaments[/QUOTE]


Trying for the $25,000 TAFKAS? There are some smart cookies playing in that tourney.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

[quote=hooskins;233537]Who is PWNED?[/quote]

he's a 14 rapist who i enraged and was thought ( at one time or another) to actually BE! HA!

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

Guys, just wanted to let you know that the questions will be closed by the end of the day today so I can post them tomorrow.

Re: TheMalcolmConnection Chat: 10/23/2006
 

TAF, do you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?