F... the creepy people at work
 

There is a temp that's been working in our office for a few months now and he really gives us all the creeps. We've nicknamed him D-FENS because he very closely resembles Michael Douglas' character from the movie "Falling Down." The only difference is that he as ratty hair and a fierce goatee that he grew out shortly after starting here.

[IMG]http://www.impawards.com/1993/posters/falling_down.jpg[/IMG]

He carries a briefcase but no one has ever seen him open (he also has no need for a briefcase here b/c hes a temp and all of work has to remain in our locked office for security reasons). He's been known to yell at the printer when it runs out of paper, he yells at his computer when it freezes, and he yells at himself for no apparent reason.

This morning my coworker caught him pacing around in the bushes outside with a cigarette in one hand and the other buried deep in the front of his pants. He may have just been keeping an eye on his shit-box of a car or he may have been doing "the bad thing," it's hard to say. Either way, it was creepy.

I spend the day in constant fear that he might sneak up behind me and slit my throat or that he might start pissing on my leg when I'm in the bathroom. Basically, I'm scared and I just wanted to vent.

I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=ArtMonkDrillz;314228]There is a temp that's been working in our office for a few months now and he really gives us all the creeps. We've nicknamed him D-FENS because he very closely resembles Michael Douglas' character from the movie "Falling Down." The only difference is that he as ratty hair and a fierce goatee that he grew out shortly after starting here.

[IMG]http://www.impawards.com/1993/posters/falling_down.jpg[/IMG]

He carries a briefcase but no one has ever seen him open (he also has no need for a briefcase here b/c hes a temp and all of work has to remain in our locked office for security reasons). He's been known to yell at the printer when it runs out of paper, he yells at his computer when it freezes, and he yells at himself for no apparent reason.

This morning my coworker caught him pacing around in the bushes outside with a cigarette in one hand and the other buried deep in the front of his pants. He may have just been keeping an eye on his shit-box of a car or he may have been doing "the bad thing," it's hard to say. Either way, it was creepy.

I spend the day in constant fear that he might sneak up behind me and slit my throat or that he might start pissing on my leg when I'm in the bathroom. Basically, I'm scared and I just wanted to vent.

I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...[/quote]
Well, look on the bright side.... if he does slit your throat, your family will have a nice law suit against the temp agency.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

temps are always strange..... that's why they are "temps".. We had one once that splashed on gallons of perfume every day, and chewed gum really loud. It was awful. She also made fun of every man that walked by her cube... calling him short, or vain, or bald.... she didn't last long. LOL

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

We used to have this strange cat in my office, he just looked very odd. He kinda had a Bill Parcells type of body, big butt, big gut, kinda pear shaped.

The biggest thing was he spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on the shitter. I swear he was in there 5-6 times per day making all sorts of horrible noises, grunts, groans, talking to himself, etc.

There was a rumor that he came to work one day with shit on his pants and people around him complained that he stunk. How the crap got there nobody knows, and I don't think anyone wanted to know.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

hahahahaha

watch this it will explain everything:
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CwEXc9ymAY]YouTube - Dane Cook - Creepy Guy At Work[/url]

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

PC loadletter? What the f*ck does that mean??!

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[QUOTE=ArtMonkDrillz;314228]I pray to God that he's not a member of this board...[/QUOTE]

Glad to hear that Hooskins ended up finding a [url=http://www.thewarpath.net/redskins-warpath-parking-lot/18364-i-need-help-with-temp.html?highlight=temp]temp job[/url]

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

We don't have a temp. We have a "Mac Specialist".

First off, being a Mac Specialist means you're probably just a little nuts anyway. This guy comes to us randomly from California, and leaves in a couple of days. He was here for far less than a year. He doesn't have a car, doesn't talk much and when he does it's saying how awesome Apple is.

His gut hangs out the bottom of all of his clothes that are always untucked. Honestly, I was always scared he'd come in to a meeting firing at us one day just because he seems so f-ing nuts.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

We see so many crazy folks coming into the public area of the jail it's hard to keep track of them.

We have one guy who always comes by and pays us a visit when he's on his way to the mental health building. He comes to my window, beats on it and presses his face on the glass. Then he starts yelling, laughing, waving his arms and jumping around the lobby. He usually starts rambling about going to mental health and getting some cookies. Our corporal can usually get him to calm down and go away, but it's very entertaining when he stops by.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=Mattyk72;314242]We used to have this strange cat in my office, he just looked very odd. He kinda had a Bill Parcells type of body, big butt, big gut, kinda pear shaped.

The biggest thing was he spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on the shitter. I swear he was in there 5-6 times per day making all sorts of horrible noises, grunts, groans, talking to himself, etc.

There was a rumor that he came to work one day with shit on his pants and people around him complained that he stunk. How the crap got there nobody knows, and I don't think anyone wanted to know.[/quote]

I'm assuming he was old. What is it about old people that causes them to drop numerous deuces throughout the day. Not only that, they seem to have NO problem going with anyone in the bathroom. If it's me, I HAVE to have privacy. I guess it's a generational thing. I walk in and hear our technician grunting like he's giving birth.

Then you can't use the bathroom for a MINIMUM of two hours.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=dall-assblows;314243]hahahahaha

watch this it will explain everything:
[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CwEXc9ymAY"]YouTube - Dane Cook - Creepy Guy At Work[/URL][/quote]
lol... that was a great link

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=SmootSmack;314248]Glad to hear that Hooskins ended up finding a [URL="http://www.thewarpath.net/redskins-warpath-parking-lot/18364-i-need-help-with-temp.html?highlight=temp"]temp job[/URL][/quote]


Haha. I was thinking the same thing!!!

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;314252]I'm assuming he was old. What is it about old people that causes them to drop numerous deuces throughout the day. Not only that, they seem to have NO problem going with anyone in the bathroom. If it's me, I HAVE to have privacy. I guess it's a generational thing. I walk in and hear our technician grunting like he's giving birth.

Then you can't use the bathroom for a MINIMUM of two hours.[/quote]

The guy looked about 30ish, but I guess he was in his 40s which made him even more weird. He lived alone with 2 cats, and he took a bus to work (I don't work in a major city with a lot of mass transit)... yes the weird factor continues to rise.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

That sounds strikingly similar to the guy who devastates OUR bathroom. He LOVES trains, figure skating and is the most liberal conservative I've ever heard. He's SUPER racist, but also is ridiculously liberal.

Wears suspenders every day. Crazy dude.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

Racist and liberal?

What a mess of a contradiction LOL

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

I know! Conversations with him are hilarious, yet never-ending. He's always going off on races and then he's like, "Man, I hate Bush."

Never been married either. He stares at me and my co-workers wives like they are pieces of meat. If you get him talking about younger women, you get TOTALLY freaked out.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

We have an intern that works here. Strange kid. Our office is business casual most of the week. Everyday this kid wears the same black suit and he usually has all the buttons fastened. He never removes his jacket and he never speaks to anyone. He's never done anything particulary strange, but there is something a little odd about him.

So one day we're on the elevator and I said something really funny to someone else, and so I turn to the kid thinking at least he's going to crack a laugh, giggle, smile...nothing! Just a blank stare.

I swear we got off the elevator like we just left a funeral. I haven't cracked a joke since.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

Wow. On a totally serious note, these are the people I try to make friends with just like was mentioned in the Dane Cook video. After the Tech thing, you never know who is going to go nuts one day.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

Both my current job and my old job had/have this big, shaved head white guys who keep to themselves and very unfriendly. I get the sense that they hate my guts when I'm around them. Very creepy. If dude that currently works at my office loses a nut, I'm probably going to be on is off list.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=saden1;314274]Both my current job and my old job had/have this big, shaved head white guys who keep to themselves and very unfriendly. I get the sense that they hate my guts when I'm around them. Very creepy. If dude that currently works at my office loses a nut, I'm probably going to be on is off list.[/quote]

I bet he's drawing a line through your name as we speak.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[IMG]http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/8392/photo2zl5.jpg[/IMG]

LOL! I found a picture of him on our network. HILARIOUS.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;314281][IMG]http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/8392/photo2zl5.jpg[/IMG]

LOL! I found a picture of him on our network. HILARIOUS.[/quote]

You are so wrong!!

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

When we grow up we don't find humor in such things ....

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=hesscl34;314283]When we grow up we don't find humor in such things ....[/quote]

oh c'mon creepy old work guy with suspenders is damn funny!

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

To his credit, he's also a really nice guy (when he's not saying racist things). He'd do anything to help you fix a problem, even though he does enjoy a ridiculously long conversation afterwards.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

Is that his myspace pic?

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;314288]To his credit, he's also a really nice guy (when he's not saying racist things). He'd do anything to help you fix a problem, even though he does enjoy a ridiculously long conversation afterwards.[/quote]

He's a talker huh, hate those people.

We have a guy in the office who is very knowledgeable, but you just dread having to go to him because you know you'll be tied up for the rest of the day talking to him.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=TheMalcolmConnection;314288]To his credit, he's also a really nice guy (when he's not saying racist things). He'd do anything to help you fix a problem, even though he does enjoy a ridiculously long conversation afterwards.[/quote]
TMC... just wait to hear what they say about you in 40 years... he was probably really "One Cool Cat" back in his day.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=Mattyk72;314289]Is that his myspace pic?[/quote]

OH GOD! LOL. People around here would absolutely die if I made a face MySpace for him.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=Redskin Rich;314292]TMC... just wait to hear what they say about you in 40 years... he was probably really "One Cool Cat" back in his day.[/quote]

Honestly, listening to some of his stories from the military and stuff, he sounds like he was exactly the same guy.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

We had several temps come through b/c my boss drives off anyone with decent skills (let's just say she's "difficult"). Inevitably we get temp admins that are just slightly crazy. I just call them members of the Tinfoil Hat Club after one who was convinced that the police helicopter followed her around at lunch (and that was one her more sane assertions).

So we now have an official tinfoil hat that we bring out for special occasions.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=Mattyk72;314242]We used to have this strange cat in my office, he just looked very odd. He kinda had a Bill Parcells type of body, big butt, big gut, kinda pear shaped.

The biggest thing was he spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on the shitter. I swear he was in there 5-6 times per day making all sorts of horrible noises, grunts, groans, talking to himself, etc.

There was a rumor that he came to work one day with shit on his pants and people around him complained that he stunk. How the crap got there nobody knows, and I don't think anyone wanted to know.[/quote]

Well that's a nice story. I don't think I can top that, that glass sure isn't half full. That's just WRONG!

Matty you did forget the man tits on tuna?

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

Sometimes, I feel like im the crazy person at work!

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

I had this very nice looking Italian girl working for me I'd say was around 30 years old. She was married to this guy who would stop by the office about once a day. One day one of our customers who she helped out sent her some flowers. When her husband stopped by he got ticked and started screaming and I told him that he needed to leave. He looked at me and said ok and was walking out the door. Just then I catch her out of the corner of my eye jumping up and grabbing the flowers. Before I could stop her she was at the door and through this vase of flowers at her husband who was only about 10 feet out the door. The thing hit him in his back and then busted on the ground as he fell to his knees. Then she started in her Italian yelling and screaming at him and he looked up at her and just walked away. She cleaned up the mess then cleaned out her desk. The funnest part was the look he had as he walked away like a sad little puppy who was scared as he!! of her.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[QUOTE=firstdown;314318]I had this very nice looking Italian girl working for me I'd say was around 30 years old. She was married to this guy who would stop by the office about once a day. One day one of our customers who she helped out sent her some flowers. When her husband stopped by he got ticked and started screaming and I told him that he needed to leave. He looked at me and said ok and was walking out the door. Just then I catch her out of the corner of my eye jumping up and grabbing the flowers. Before I could stop her she was at the door and through this vase of flowers at her husband who was only about 10 feet out the door. The thing hit him in his back and then busted on the ground as he fell to his knees. Then she started in her Italian yelling and screaming at him and he looked up at her and just walked away. She cleaned up the mess then cleaned out her desk. The funnest part was the look he had as he walked away like a sad little puppy who was scared as he!! of her.[/QUOTE]

lol...did you fire her or did she pack all on her own?

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

I work with a strange woman myself. She's about 50, but sometimes I think she has the brain of an elementary schooler. I think it's because she asks some of the most ridiculous questions. I know some people like to say that there's no such thing as a stupid question, but these come pretty close.

1) She always asks my boss if she can use the bathroom. Who the hell asks permission to take a piss at work? This happens on a daily basis. And when she asks, she doesn't just use my boss's first name, she says, " Excuse me, Mrs. Sarah, may I please use this rest room?" It's like she's a little girl asking her teacher if she can be excused from class to go to the bathroom.

2) I've heard her a few times ask my boss, "You still love me, don't you?" I don't really get this, who asks their boss that question?

3) And this is my favorite question. One day I'm enjoying a nice turkey sandwhich at lunch when I see her looking at me with this confused look on her face from accross the table. "Uh-oh," I think to myself. "I don't want to hear whatever it is she's going to ask me." Without hesitation she asks, "Is that green stuff on your sandwhich lettuce?" I nearly choke on my sandwhich when she asked me that. After I finish a small fit of laughing and coughing I reply, "Yes, the big green leaves on my sandwhich are infact lettuce." "Oh, I was just checking," she says back. THANK YOU FOR CHECKING, MAM! What else the those big green leaves could have been confused for, I don't know. Maybe she thought a nasty little elf switched the lettuce on my sandwhich with poison ivy when I wasn't looking. Sometimes I still think about this and snicker at my desk.

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

That's pretty normal if you work in the mental healthy industry.

What the hell does this woman do?

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

[quote=gabe1984;314692]I work with a strange woman myself. She's about 50, but sometimes I think she has the brain of an elementary schooler. I think it's because she asks some of the most ridiculous questions. I know some people like to say that there's no such thing as a stupid question, but these come pretty close.

1) She always asks my boss if she can use the bathroom. Who the hell asks permission to take a piss at work? This happens on a daily basis. And when she asks, she doesn't just use my boss's first name, she says, " Excuse me, Mrs. Sarah, may I please use this rest room?" It's like she's a little girl asking her teacher if she can be excused from class to go to the bathroom.

2) I've heard her a few times ask my boss, "You still love me, don't you?" I don't really get this, who asks their boss that question?

3) And this is my favorite question. One day I'm enjoying a nice turkey sandwhich at lunch when I see her looking at me with this confused look on her face from accross the table. "Uh-oh," I think to myself. "I don't want to hear whatever it is she's going to ask me." Without hesitation she asks, "Is that green stuff on your sandwhich lettuce?" I nearly choke on my sandwhich when she asked me that. After I finish a small fit of laughing and coughing I reply, "Yes, the big green leaves on my sandwhich are infact lettuce." "Oh, I was just checking," she says back. THANK YOU FOR CHECKING, MAM! What else the those big green leaves could have been confused for, I don't know. Maybe she thought a nasty little elf switched the lettuce on my sandwhich with poison ivy when I wasn't looking. Sometimes I still think about this and snicker at my desk.[/quote]

Wow, hello crazy

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

she just does random office work, and keeps the poison ivy elves away, of course

Re: F... the creepy people at work
 

I became good friends with the creepy guy at work. When I started my last job, the person training me said "Watch out for Joe, he's really weird". A few weeks later I had to travel up the road with him for a site survey and struck up a conversation with him. He was peculiar but really didn't know how to initiate conversations. He just had insecure issues and was too scared to talk to people. Once he started talking about his interest (politics, rock & roll and football) he really loosened up. Total metamorphisis.