Redskins Humor..
 

Q. What do you call 53 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field - they never touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen

Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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Kinda corny man, but your right we f ing suck!!

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yeah, I just did a cut paste job. it actually is pretty corny.

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[IMG]http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m295/foleyek/Misc/skinslogo.jpg[/IMG]

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Those are really old actually.

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[quote=SC Skins Fan;612828][IMG]http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m295/foleyek/Misc/skinslogo.jpg[/IMG][/quote]

LOL Can we make THIS an AVATAR?

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[quote=sandtrapjack;612836]Those are really old actually.[/quote]

I remember us posting Cowboys jokes on here a long time ago...there are SO many more Cowboys jokes. :D

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[quote=SC Skins Fan;612828][IMG]http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m295/foleyek/Misc/skinslogo.jpg[/IMG][/quote]
looks about right

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I just got this email:
[B]
CLEVELAND (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cuyahoga County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Washington Redskins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone. [/B]

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Little David was in his class at Ross Elementary School when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley and let him do what he wants for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He works for the Redskins Front Office, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

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These jokes are recycled every year, just insert bad team here.

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A buddy of mine accidentally left his Redskin tickets on the dashboard of his car. He went into a movie, and when he came out, some asshole smashed in the windshield and left him two more.

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Any more jokes please? Some of the jokes may be old but finding humor in the situation seems therapeutic to me. I like the gay cabaret dancer joke.

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Funny..but cold
Is THIS what we have come to? I still have a glimpse of hope. hope its not the Yager talking

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[quote=Mattyk72;613107]These jokes are recycled every year, just insert bad team here.[/quote]
Lol, not this one.

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

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[quote=dirtbag359;613115]lol, not this one.

Q: What do you call a drug ring in dallas?
A: A huddle.[/quote]

ha! Classic

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[quote=Dirtbag359;613115]Lol, not this one.

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.[/quote]

Q: 4 Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.

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Love the ol Cowgirl classics

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Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?

A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

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[quote=Dirtbag359;613115]Lol, not this one.

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.[/quote]

Here's another cowboy one...think cowboys of the mid 90's.


[COLOR=darkslateblue]Did you hear that the cowboys are going to sign William Perry?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkslateblue] [/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkslateblue]...They want a refridgerator to go along with their coke machine.[/COLOR]


The coke machine being Michael Irvin for those young guys out there.

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Q: Who sucks?
A:The Dallas Cowboys.

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Q: Why doesn't (insert team) have a website?
A: They can't put three Ws in a row

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[quote=SC Skins Fan;612828][IMG]http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m295/foleyek/Misc/skinslogo.jpg[/IMG][/quote]

I am not trying to start anything but it seems like some non-VIP memebers have the ability to attach images when others like myself can't attach images. Kind of fustrating.

BTW- Great image I wanted to put it up yesterday.

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[quote=mredskins;613209]I am trying to start anything but it seems like some non-VIP memebers have the ability to attach images when others like myself can't attach images. Kind of fustrating.[/quote]

A) You don't have the VIP banner, so not sure the relevance of that statement.

B) If you cannot attach images it is because you do not know how to do so. Host the image on another site (e.g. Photobucket.com) and insert the image link code.

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[quote=SC Skins Fan;613211]A) You don't have the VIP banner, so not sure the relevance of that statement.

B) If you cannot attach images it is because you do not know how to do so. Host the image on another site (e.g. Photobucket.com) and insert the image link code.[/quote]


My belief was that only VIP memebers could post images and I noticed you didn't have a banner and no I was unaware you could do it through photobucket but if this is "cheating" the system I won't do it.

BTW- I was not try to attack you in anyway just confused on how/ who was able to post images. Sorry for the confusion.

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[quote=mredskins;613213]My belief was that only VIP memebers could post images and I noticed you didn't have a banner and [B]no I was unaware you could do it through photobucket but if this is "cheating" the system I won't do it.[/B]

BTW- I was not try to attack you in anyway just confused on how/ who was able to post images. Sorry for the confusion.[/quote]

I don't believe it is cheating the system. Most web images you can right click the image and copy the image file location. Then there is a button on the text entry box that will wrap the image file location, or you can wrap it yourself like this :
[ IMG] valid web accessible file location goes here [/IMG ]
(i added spaces in the brackets for example only, normally no spaces would be in the tag.

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[quote=mredskins;613213]My belief was that only VIP memebers could post images and I noticed you didn't have a banner and no I was unaware you could do it through photobucket but if this is "cheating" the system I won't do it.

BTW- I was not try to attack you in anyway just confused on how/ who was able to post images. Sorry for the confusion.[/quote]

There's a difference between uploading an image to our server, which nobody can do here, and posting a link to an image file. See the little button that has the mountain in it, hover over it and it says insert image. Copy and paste a link to an image and there you go. Everybody can do that not just VIP's.

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Q: youve got 3 Dallas cowboys in the backseat of a car, whos driving?
A: the Police!

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BREAKING NEWS:
Terror Alert in DC. The Washington Redskins football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white substance on the practice field. Head Coach Jim Zorn immediately suspended practice and called the police and Federal Investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE! Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter that substance again this season.

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[quote=Mattyk72;613223]There's a difference between uploading an image to our server, which nobody can do here, and posting a link to an image file. See the little button that has the mountain in it, hover over it and it says insert image. Copy and paste a link to an image and there you go. Everybody can do that not just VIP's.[/quote]


Ok now I see! Sorry for wasting everyone's time. Matty and CR thank you!

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Q: Why was Jim Zorn upset when the Redskins playbook was stolen?
A: He wasn't finished coloring in it yet!


A federal judge has sided with the Washington Redskins in a lawsuit regarding the team's name. Sadly, it's the first major victory the franchise has enjoyed since 1991.

Washington's Clinton Portis defended Michael Vick, saying dog fighting was not nearly as criminal as selling Redskins season tickets.


And Finally.........

A guy walks into a bar with a Rotweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a Washington Redskins jersey and helmet, and is festooned with Redskins pom pons. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big 'Skins fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with the Redskins receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years."

Cheer Up
 

If you can't laugh at yourself who can you?

Q. What do you call millionaires sitting... around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. ......What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 90,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?

A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?

A. Senior Citizen

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Re: Cheer Up
 

Gonna merge this thread with this one

[url]http://www.thewarpath.net/redskins-locker-room/32833-redskins-humor.html[/url]

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Anyone get the email going around with the .pdf attachment of the Redskins Funeral pamphlet? Oh man it's hilarious. I don't know how to convert a .pdf to an image I can post here, otherwise I'd share it.

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[quote=sandtrapjack;612836]Those are really old actually.[/quote]

Yea they just replaced the word Dallas with redskin.

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i think this is pretty funny! especially the haynesworth one!

[url=http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/sports/What-a-Skin-Thinks-66392202.html]What the Skins Really Think | NBC Washington[/url]

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[quote=doughtydoubter;617698]i think this is pretty funny! especially the haynesworth one!

[URL="http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/sports/What-a-Skin-Thinks-66392202.html"]What the Skins Really Think | NBC Washington[/URL][/quote]

Ugh. That's funny, but all in all, this is sad. Our team has become a total punchline. We are without question the Raiders of the east coast. An out and out joke.

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[quote=GMScud;617685]Anyone get the email going around with the .pdf attachment of the Redskins Funeral pamphlet? Oh man it's hilarious. I don't know how to convert a .pdf to an image I can post here, otherwise I'd share it.[/quote]

[url=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_mwPu3Zy4TPU/SuiwQZAltCI/AAAAAAAAGDo/uGfDqb5NCdk/s1600-h/skins_0001.jpg]skins_0001.jpg (image)[/url]

This?

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[YT]VyhU6kmoD8E[/YT]

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[quote=GMScud;617685]Anyone get the email going around with the .pdf attachment of the Redskins Funeral pamphlet? Oh man it's hilarious. I don't know how to convert a .pdf to an image I can post here, otherwise I'd share it.[/quote]

I do... I actually work for Adobe