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ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 11:06 AM

the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
We already have a "TJ Duckett Conspiracy" thread going, but I haven't heard any conspiracy theories yet, so I've decided to make a thread designed for just such a discussion (plus, as usual, I am bored).

Here are just a few thoughts:
- Gibbs hates college football and didn't want to be bothered with looking at potential draft picks
- TJ Duckett makes such good BBQ sauce that the team just needed to get him up here
- Mike Sellers always wanted a twin brother, and what Mike Sellers wants Mike Sellers gets
- Duckett lied and said he could kickoff
- Look at this picture and tell me you wouldn't trade half your picks to get this guy on your team: [url]http://www.nea.org/readacross/images/DuckettWheatleyweb.jpg[/url]
- We knew he'd be great on 3rd and 1....oh wait, forget that one

These aren't my best work. Anyone else have any ideas?

ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 11:13 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
I just realized that I, being the complete idiot that I am, gave my theories for why the FO traded for Duckett, not why he isn't playing, as the title of the thread would suggest.

So, he's not playing because:

- He says all white makes him look fat, so he refuses to dress
- he's too quick with a high five and a cup of Gatorade to risk actually sending him onto the field
- He's a mouth-breather, and that's really distracting in the huddle
- Betts keeps winning "Rock, Paper, Scissors"
- We're saving him for the late season playoff run
- My friend Mike drafted him in the 8th round of our fantasy draft and we all need justification for mocking him

724Skinsfan 10-11-2006 11:25 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
My theory on why he isn't playing is based on the all too sensitive topic of 'roids....


HEMMORRHOIDS!

SmootSmack 10-11-2006 11:30 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
He killed Southeast Jerome

ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 11:32 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
He ate Gibbs' special sugar-free lunch

hooskins 10-11-2006 11:41 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
He really is Rick Ross(the song Everyday I'm Hustlin'), and he scares people with his beard on the sideline

[IMG]http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/r/ross_rick/281x211.jpg[/IMG]

TheMalcolmConnection 10-11-2006 11:47 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
Because he would not do it with a fox, he would not do it in a box, he does not like green eggs and ham, he does not like them Sam-I-Am.

TheMalcolmConnection 10-11-2006 11:48 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
Is Sam-I-Am related to Will.I.Am?

[IMG]http://black.eyed.peas.free.fr/photos/photos_will.i.am_html_will.i.am3.jpg[/IMG]

GhettoDogAllStars 10-11-2006 11:59 AM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
'cause he looks like Mr. T:

[IMG]http://www.amazingben.com/mr-t.jpg[/IMG]

ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 12:04 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
[QUOTE=GhettoDogAllStars;227088]'cause he looks like Mr. T:

[IMG]http://www.amazingben.com/mr-t.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?

ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 12:08 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
He'll only play when his beard reaches maximum potential, like these...

[IMG]http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/photo/2006-04/30/xin_300403301510657824938.jpg[/IMG]

FRPLG 10-11-2006 12:34 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
[QUOTE=ArtMonkDrillz;227091]But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?[/QUOTE]

That's Chuck Norris you're thinking of. They are easily confused for each other.

GhettoDogAllStars 10-11-2006 12:39 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
[quote=ArtMonkDrillz;227091]But wouldn't that be a reason why he should be on the field, for every play, on offense and defense?[/quote]

dude, he doesn't want to get that dope suit dirty! just look at how pimp he looks in it.

TheMalcolmConnection 10-11-2006 01:14 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
[quote=FRPLG;227104]That's Chuck Norris you're thinking of. They are easily confused for each other.[/quote]

RIGHT! And Chuck don't PLAY NO special teams.

ArtMonkDrillz 10-11-2006 01:17 PM

Re: the REAL reason Duckett hasn't been playing
 
He won't play until Vincent and Jules bring his briefcase back


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