F....Cigarettes
 

Over the past few months my wife and I have been turning a blind eye to the fact that her folks smoke and their second hand smoke is affecting our son's health. Yesterday was kind of the straw that broke the camels back..per say.

My son and wife went to visit my in-laws yesterday for most of the day. When they came home my son was sneezing and his eyes were really red, this continue through most of the night it was obvious it was from the smoke that final got to him or at least this was his worst bout yet with it.

My in-laws love my son (their grandchild), he is definitely my MIL whole life. He goes to her every Monday and she cares for him, he is 2.

We are now at the point where we don't want to take him over there anymore becasue it is really starting to bother but we also know it will launch World War 3. There are 3 full time smokers that live at my in-laws house, they do smoke outside but really it is still second hand smoke.

My MIL is the biggest hypochondriac you ever meet but yet she still smokes and won't stop. She is afraid to drive over the Key Bridge and/or go through either tunnel in MD but yet smokes a pack and a half a day. I said to her one day in a fit of frustration "I am almost positive more folks have died from smoking then driving over the Key Bridge."

Well basically I just want to say F cigs for putting my family is this bad situation.

I WISH THEY WOULD QUIT OR AT LEAST TRY!!!!!!!

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

I agree. As my father's healthy keeps declining, not just from cigs but from working a hazardous job for the last 15 years, I really wish he'd just quit. But he's way beyond the point where quitting would do more harm than good, having smoked constantly for the last 35+ years. He starts getting the shakes if he tries to smoke less, and none of the patches or other ideas have worked for him. He switched to lights a couple years ago but it's really not that much better.

Plus I've been around smokers all my life, from family to friends and for a while I was tolerate of their smoke but lately it seems it's hurting more. People have blown smoke in my face and it's even sent me into a constant fit of coughing on rare occasion and it's really starting to get annoying.

I might also add F smokers who are inconsiderate of other people. There's nothing worse than getting caught up in someone else's cloud because they don't care where they light up.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Word, cigarettes are the grossest thing.

It sounds like your son is allergic to tobacco smoke. Those allergic to it are more prone to developing asthma from it. Take it seriously, it represents a threat to his health.

Start WW3 if you have to.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

PS When I saw how much Megan Fox smoked it ruined her forever for me. In that hypothetical scenario where she wants a piece of the Schneed, I'd have to turn her down. That's how gross cigs are to me.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Don't smoke around my kids or you won't be around my kids. It is a simple request and a simple response to the denial of you request. The choice is theirs and whatever they choose your kid's health problems will be solved.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;729284]Over the past few months my wife and I have been turning a blind eye to the fact that her folks smoke and their second hand smoke is affecting our son's health. Yesterday was kind of the straw that broke the camels back..per say.

My son and wife went to visit my in-laws yesterday for most of the day. When they came home my son was sneezing and his eyes were really red, this continue through most of the night it was obvious it was from the smoke that final got to him or at least this was his worst bout yet with it.

My in-laws love my son (their grandchild), he is definitely my MIL whole life. He goes to her every Monday and she cares for him, he is 2.

We are now at the point where we don't want to take him over there anymore becasue it is really starting to bother but we also know it will launch World War 3. There are 3 full time smokers that live at my in-laws house, [SIZE=4]they do smoke outside but really it is still second hand smoke[/SIZE].

My MIL is the biggest hypochondriac you ever meet but yet she still smokes and won't stop. She is afraid to drive over the Key Bridge and/or go through either tunnel in MD but yet smokes a pack and a half a day. I said to her one day in a fit of frustration "I am almost positive more folks have died from smoking then driving over the Key Bridge."

Well basically I just want to say F cigs for putting my family is this bad situation.

I WISH THEY WOULD QUIT OR AT LEAST TRY!!!!!!![/quote]

Do your kids get the second hand smoke outside?

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Yeah, kids health > MIL's feelings.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Schneed10;729291]Word, cigarettes are the grossest thing.

It sounds like your son is allergic to tobacco smoke. Those allergic to it are more prone to developing asthma from it. Take it seriously, it represents a threat to his health.

Start WW3 if you have to.[/quote]

Definitely stand by your son, mredskins.

Schneed, you mentioned being allergic to smoke...it's my ONLY allergy.

My throat starts to burn and I get nauseous. Once in a bar/dance club in college, that was VERY smoky...I had to go to the restroom to puke three times. Didn't go back obviously.

I have NO other allergies that I know of, but this is not a fun one. Sometimes when a stinky smoker gets out of an elevator and I use it afterward, my throat starts to get sore...don't even have to be around "live" smoke.


So stick up for the kid and if they won't be considerate enough to put their selfish habits aside when he's around...they're choosing cigs over your son and it's their loss.

But if he does have an allergy, you may just have to make their house off-limits completely, because if they stink, their house will....even if they always smoke outside. If his health is being affected by them...TELL THEM and don't worry about their reaction.

Is your wife on your side? If not, get her on it before you bring it up with her mother...you may need the backup.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=saden1;729301]Don't smoke around my kids or you won't be around my kids. It is a simple request and a simple response to the denial of you request. The choice is theirs and whatever they choose your kid's health problems will be solved.[/quote]

I 100% agee.
There are points in your life that you need to stand up to people. Whether it be your parents, your teacher, your in laws, a bully...whatever. This is a no brainer, you either stand up to your in laws and demand they stop smoking around them, or you will take him away from them. This may not be taken with a grain of salt, but you need to draw the line in the sand. If they truly love your son, they will comply.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;729373]Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.[/quote]

Well if that's the case then tell them if they want to see the kids either quit smoking altogether (not likely seeing how old they are) or you can see the kids by coming over to our house fully bathed and as smoke-residue-free as possible.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

had this problem. only with my parents. my baby girl actually threw up from the smoke. gave them the ultimatum, either don't smoke around us, or we aren't coming over. still haven't been here, my daughters 22. caused a lot of hard feelings. would i do it again? definitely. my kids health was the priority. do i miss them as grand parents? sure. but the choice i made was the right one. but.... to want them to wash up, and whatever, is being a bit of a bigot. do you wash up before handling your kids? i think that's a bit extreme. just remember, your choice will have consequences, either way

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;729373]Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

[B]My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week[/B].[/quote]
THAT should be exciting...Good Luck to you

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Gotta put your kids first above all else.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

As a kid that grew up around smokers who didn't give a damn about how often and where they did it I will not allow any future children to become subject to the same type of environment.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Here is the email I sent my MIL this morning, my wife is also going to speak with her in person but I felt I need to say my two cents:

[I]Please don’t be mad at me in regards to this message…

Do you know that when XXXX came home on Monday his eyes were very red and he could not stop sneezing? I think the second hand smoke is starting to get to him. I realize you never smoke around him but the second hand smoke on your clothes and hands is harming him.

I really wish you guys would consider stopping if for anything XXXX’s health, it could literally kill him. Also, you guys are a huge part of his life and in my opinion his true go to grandparents and we need all of you around for a long long time! I am also scared that XXXXX who loves UNCLE and looks up to him may someday think smoking is cool.

Please I just ask that you guys consider quitting, it would make a huge impact in all of your lives. I KNOW that you guys never smoke around him and actually come to think of it I don’t think I have ever physical seen you smoke. I realize it is a huge undertaking but think of the impact it will have on our lives if you guys stop.

Please don’t take this as a I am holier then I type email, I know I have plenty of vices of my own to work out myself. I just felt like this was something I had to say.

Love,

XXXX

[url=http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4564532_smoke-affect-someone-elses-health.html]How Does Secondhand Smoke Affect Someone Else's Health? | eHow.com[/url]


Straight from the article:

Second hand smoke affects the body in several ways. It can irritate the eyes causing them to become red, itchy and watery. The lining of the nasal passages can be irritated causing sneezing and runny nose. Secondhand smoke can cause the throat to become dry and irritated. Most non-smokers tend to cough when exposed to secondhand smoke. Although most people may not realize it, secondhand smoke even affects the taste buds diminishing the full flavor of food.
[/I]

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;729373]Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.[/quote]

Im a smoker, i do it outside the house as well. When you come back in the house you need to wash your hands but, like you said, theres still that lingering factor of smoke on the hands and clothes.

my only caution to you (you know the whole story, its your family, i dont so take it for what it is) but it seems that your in-laws have tried and made efforts to not only not put your son (and their grandson) in direct second hand smoke but also make sure that the lil guy doesnt see them do it.

my caution is, i wouldnt approach them antagonistically or even have the appearance of that. it seems the MIL is embarrassed of the situation, she is aware of it but depending on how you present this issue to which she is sensitive to, she might take it the wrong way, see it as an attack etc. i know when my lady starts complaining about my dogs I take it personal, as an attack sometimes.

i would start off by recognizing and commending her (and the rest) for their efforts to shield the child from their dirty habit. then tell them the most recent situation and come up with a plan that everyone involved can contribute to discussion wise.

i would focus the discussion on what everyoone wants - the best health for your child. i would try to stay away from making the MIL feel worse than she already does about her habit. it seems like she is doing everything she can think of, im guessin she doesnt know that the lingering smell and elements of smoke on her clothes still effects the child.

just be thoughtful and understanding in your approach. you all want the same thing.

i recommend an outdoor smoking cloak thing that she could wear when shes outside smoking then leave that cloak thing outside?

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[url=http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20015802-10391704.html]Cigarette Smoking: 46 Million American Junkies Still Puffing, Says CDC - Health Blog - CBS News[/url]

F smokers indeed.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Buster;729664]^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.[/quote]


One of the few times I can whole heartily say I agree with you.

It be one thing if the smoke only hurt the smoker but smokers are literally killing the rest of us as well and it is completely unfair to children who have no choice in the matter.

When I see a car load of kids with a smoker I seriously want to scream.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Buster;729664]^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.[/quote]

i fully understand. but there are ways of approaching situations. this isnt my situation but if it was my number one goal would be to do whats best for my child. but achieving this goal is possible without alienating or embarrassing or attacking the grandmother who obviously loves her grandson very much.

of course she loves her grandson more than smoking so basic logic for a non-smoker dictates that she should just quit smoking. i'd like to think this dynamic and situation mredskins and his wife is in is more delicate and sensitive. your talking about a grandmother. about a grandmothers feelings and acts which hurt her grandson. what grandmother wants to be placed in a position in which her daughter and SOL and talking to her about her actions which negatively effect her grandsons's health?

to me, that situation can be resolved while keeping the grandmothers feelings and sense of nurturing intact.

all im offerring is a recommendation to mredskins (who seems like a real cool thoughtful person) to be mindful of his approach as his MIL may be sensitive to this issue. obviously something needs to be done, but do it with compassion and understanding. were not talking about mredskins brother or even uncle, were talking grandmother here.

im guessin all she wants is to be there for her grandson in every capacity she can. to let her know that despite her efforts otherwise she has been hurting her grandson must be a very powerful emotional blow to one's self of grandmotherhood.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;729697]One of the few times I can whole heartily say I agree with you.

It be one thing if the smoke only hurt the smoker but smokers are literally killing the rest of us as well and it is completely unfair to children who have no choice in the matter.

When I see a car load of kids with a smoker I seriously want to scream.[/quote]

so do i and i digress.

good luck m.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=over the mountain;729701]so do i and i digress.

good luck m.[/quote]


did you read the email I wrote to her? it is at the top of this page. I think it was very fair and both me and my wfie will follow up with a actually conversation. Since it is her mom she may go it alone but Ifelt Iwant my voice to be heard. My wife has begged my MIL to stop even when she was a child so I was hoping maybe if someone outside of their immediate family said hey this is actually hurting your grandson it might be the thing to put her and the rest of them over the edge to quit.

If I was going to be a hard ass about it, it would go something like this:

[I]Stop F--king smoking near my son becasue if he gets cancer and dies I will hang it over your head until you die of cancer! Also, until you stop don't think you will ever see him. [/I]

I would never say that.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

I'd like to see evidence that second hand smoke on clothing and hands could have those affects on another person. Not saying it wouldn't just never heard of second hand smoke as you describe. When I smoked I found 2 and 3 year olds where great at fetching my smokes and getting me a cold beer when I was too lazy/drunk to get up. My girlfriend Dixie thought it was cute.


:Smoker::pimp::cool-smil:vomit:

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Mattyk;729853]Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?[/quote]
It may not be crazy to think about it but is it true? I have never heard of that either, but it could be true
BTW.........I don't smoke

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Mattyk;729853]Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?[/quote]

No its not crazy but I have never herd of 2nd stinky hand and Clothing health issues.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

When you walk into a bathroom and someone took a really stinky dump earlier and you smell said stink what you're doing is taking in that persons shit into your nose and subsequently your lungs.

Don't forget to breath, it's just a small particles of shit.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[url]http://www.thecmafoundation.org/rxchange/pdfs/otherpdfs/ETSfacts.pdf[/url]

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=saden1;729881]When you walk into a bathroom and someone took a really stinky dump earlier and you smell said stink what you're doing is taking in that persons shit into your nose and subsequently your lungs.

Don't forget to breath, it's just a small particles of shit.[/quote]

home field advantage.........only

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Mattyk;729917][URL]http://www.thecmafoundation.org/rxchange/pdfs/otherpdfs/ETSfacts.pdf[/URL][/quote]

There you have it!
Good thing I keep my.......Hookah out on the veranda....in the wind....

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Mattyk;729917][URL]http://www.thecmafoundation.org/rxchange/pdfs/otherpdfs/ETSfacts.pdf[/URL][/quote]


Good stuff Matty, will be printed out in placed at the in laws house. My wife printed up a ton of wallet size photos of my son and she is going to tape each one to ever pack in their "supply draw". They drive to VA once a month to stock up because they are too expensive in MD.

For the record I never got a response to my email from earlier in the week, SHOCKER!

I want to add in response to that article; we once let my FIL and BIL borrow our for Wii for like a week, when the Wii came back I just throw out the controls they were literally yellow, it was sick. They got wind of it and actually paid me back but still it was gross.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

I hope your email to your mother in law was well received.

It sounds like your son may have a sereve allergy to smoke and he may have asthma too. Maybe he has other allergies. Do they have cats or dogs or carpet or are there other differences from your house? Is smoking the only possible culprit?

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

^ I have dogs at my house they don't, the only other difference between the homes is the cigs.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

This thread is making want to :Smoker:

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=mredskins;730076][B]Good stuff Matty, will be printed out in placed at the in laws house. My wife printed up a ton of wallet size photos of my son and she is going to tape each one to ever pack in their "supply draw". [/B]They drive to VA once a month to stock up because they are too expensive in MD.

For the record I never got a response to my email from earlier in the week, SHOCKER!

I want to add in response to that article; we once let my FIL and BIL borrow our for Wii for like a week, when the Wii came back I just throw out the controls they were literally yellow, it was sick. They got wind of it and actually paid me back but still it was gross.[/quote]


You really don't need to be sneaky and doing stuff like that? What do you hope to achieve by doing this instead of just handing them the material and photos? I wouldn't guilt trip them as it could make the angry and backfire.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=saden1;730141]You really don't need to be sneaky and doing stuff like that? What do you hope to achieve by doing this instead of just handing them the material and photos? I wouldn't guilt trip them as it could make the angry and backfire.[/quote]


At this point I feel like I am fighting for your lives and if this works so be it.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

I grew up all my life with my parents smoking. They made sure me and my brother did not. My mom still smokes and is (honestly) in the hospital with pneumonia and dehydration. Obviously not caused by the cigaretts but it's not helping her breathing for her to trash her lungs.

My wife is allergic to everything under the sun to include cigarett smoke. Her eyes also will turn red, get itchy, and sometimes swollen. My kids are in the same situation. Thankfully when I got married and had X-Mas at my house my mother decided on her own to take her cigaretts outside. I was overwhelmed by the respect my mother showed by going outside in the rain and smoking because of the no smoking in my house rules. I even went as far as to tell her she didn't have to go outside cause of the rain and she said no she was going.

On the flip side I feel sorry for the smokers, or atleast the older generations that got all caught up in the commercialization of cigaretts. Now they are hooked and instead of finding a better way to help them quit big government would prefer to treat them like outcasts and make them smoke outside no matter what the weather. Insurance companies would prefer to offer lower insurance to building that have a no smoking policy, and in some states making it illegal to even smoke outside in public.

What are there a bunch of people bored off their asses that have nothing better to do other then stir up trouble, or try to make a name for themselves? What will be next? Alcohol damages the liver so perhaps we should make it illegal to drink (again). Caffine hypes people up so maybe soda's should be illegal and perhaps we can takle coffie also.

Society just needs to understand too much of anything is not good for you. But we need to remember they are people also.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

Sorry but I have zero pity for smokers having to smoke outside. The best thing that happened in NY was when they banned smoking in bars and restaurants.

Re: F....Cigarettes
 

[quote=Mattyk;730195]Sorry but I have zero pity for smokers having to smoke outside. [B]The best thing that happened in NY was when they banned smoking in bars and restaurants.[/B][/quote]


IT has been that way for a a little while here in MD, so refreshing honestly it is great.