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-   -   Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment (http://www.thewarpath.net/showthread.php?t=51125)

BigHairedAristocrat 12-31-2012 01:58 AM

Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
A few years ago, my dad was diagnosed with a disease called dementia with Lewy bodies. He's weak, frail, disoriented, thinks my mom is his nurse, and doesn't know who I am most of the time. It's horrible to watch the most important person in your life wither away in front of you by a disease no one understands. I've been through a lot in my life. I've made mistakes. My dad always encouraged, forgave, and loved me.

My dad is usually completely unaware if what's going on after 8pm. He was alert and lucid all night. He stayed awake and was alert. We hollered and cheered the entire game. This has not happened in years. Years.

Ive broken down in tears several times trying to write this. At the end of the game, my dad, in a moment of complete clarity and normalcy, remembered a time years ago when we traveled from Raleigh North Carolina to FedEx field to watch a redskins game. He told me it was one of his favorite memories and that he treasured it. He can't remember who I am most of the time, but after this victory, he remembered that. He remembered me, and a special trip we took together. I will treasure tonight forever. Not because the skins won, but because, for a brief moment, I had my father back. I might not not ever have him "back" again. I just wanted to say thank you, redskins. You gave me a moment with my father I may never get again. My father knows who I am. And he loves me. Thank you.

MTK 12-31-2012 02:05 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Awesome story BHA.

It's great that you built some lasting memories tonight with your Dad.

My Dad passed back in October, and I feel he's been watching over me since then, and I like to think he's been pulling some strings for the Skins these last 7 games. :)

BigHairedAristocrat 12-31-2012 02:10 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
[quote=Mattyk;982187]Awesome story BHA.

It's great that you built some lasting memories tonight with your Dad.

My Dad passed back in October, and I feel he's been watching over me since then, and I like to think he's been pulling some strings for the Skins these last 7 games. :)[/quote]

I'm sorry Matty. I can't fathom life without my father, even in his current state. I can't imagine the pain you've gone though. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I hope with all my heart you see him again.

Hail to the redskins!

CooleyAsCanBe 12-31-2012 02:31 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Wow, that's wonderful, BHA.

I've lost a few family members to alzheimers and those late moments of clarity are times I treasure. When my second child was a month old we took her to visit my grandmother who was bed-ridden with Alzheimers and had changed from her loving, quiet self to an angry, confused person. For the hour we visited, she held my son, laughed with us, recalled memories from when my dad was a baby, and we all shed some tears together. She passed away a week later. I always treasure that visit.

I let my seven year-old boy stay up late with me to watch the game tonight, so your story is touching for me as a father, also. Thanks for sharing.

diehardskin2982 12-31-2012 02:45 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
That is awesome BHA! I hope the game next week has positive results for you and your dad as well.

mbedner3420 12-31-2012 02:48 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
That's a great story. All the best to you and your dad.

Bubba305-ST21- 12-31-2012 02:53 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Awesome awesome story man, I hope you and your pops enjoyed the victory as much as me. I am acutally from and live in Raleigh too, right in Cary. Hail!

skinsfaninok 12-31-2012 02:55 AM

Great story man. I watched with a father figure that's dear to me, my father in law and he's a diehard cowboys fan but he's always been there for me ever since moving to Oklahoma. But I wish u and your dad the best and httr!!

punch it in 12-31-2012 02:57 AM

Much love BHA.

53Fan 12-31-2012 04:53 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
That is awesome BHA. My mom had alzheimers for years and it was painful to watch because I love her so much. She passed in April of 2010. Right after that my dad was diagnosed with dementia. It wasn't really a surprise...I had taken him to the hospital about a year before because of really strange behavior but he had some other problems and was under a lot of stress because of my mom and they pretty much chalked it up to that. Anyway...he passed away 2 months after my mom because he lost the will to live. One thing we never got tired of talking about was the Redskins. And my mom? Those rare moments when she did have some clarity made me feel like I had my mom back and were very precious to me because in a way I had lost her long ago. I know how it must have made you feel to experience that with your dad and I'm very happy for you.....and I do believe I'll see my parents again one day. They just got to go to where I want to go before I do. Thanks for sharing that man. I'm glad you and your dad got to have that time together.

Swarley 12-31-2012 05:52 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Much love and respect for sharing that with us man. You're all giving me goosebumps.

That Guy 12-31-2012 05:55 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
i'm happy you got one more night with your dad. i can only imagine how hard that must be.

NYCskinfan82 12-31-2012 06:03 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
It's amazing how sports can bring people together you never realise it until you hear stories like this.

Hog1 12-31-2012 07:58 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
What a great thing.....small moments.
Something you will remember and tell again and again for the rest of your life. Interesting how in the grand scheme of life an otherwise.....silly game can have.....HUGE meaning.
Good luck to you and your family BHA......

GoSkins! 12-31-2012 08:28 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
What a great night. So happy for you both!

htownskinfan 12-31-2012 08:43 AM

Great story,brought tears reading it

44ever 12-31-2012 09:05 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Thanks for sharing that BHA. Must have been an amazing evening for you both. Very moving story brother...

SmootSmack 12-31-2012 10:12 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Beautiful story

DFI 12-31-2012 10:56 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
great story thanks for sharing....I have some family history with that sort of thing and its brutal....glad you had this time

jbcjr14 12-31-2012 11:26 AM

What an awesome story! HTTR!

NC_Skins 12-31-2012 11:26 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Amazing story BHA. Thank you for sharing that with us. Keep up the good fight my man and hopefully you'll have more of those moments.

SCRedskinsFan 12-31-2012 11:34 AM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
There are thousands of fan sites, probably hundreds for football. None come even close to the Warpath. BHA, great, great story, everyone else, thanks for letting me in...

RobH4413 12-31-2012 12:26 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Beautiful story. I lost my father about 15 years ago and yesterday was his Birthday. He always smoked cigars around us so we could remember him and the smell when he was gone....

Needless to say as time expired I lit one up and just soaked it in. Amazing how sports can bring you moments like these.

Paintrain 12-31-2012 12:29 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
God bless man.. Thanks for sharing.

REDSKINS4ever 12-31-2012 04:36 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
I lost my father when I was a preteen so I know what you're going through. Many blessing to you both.

RedskinRat 12-31-2012 04:58 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Thank you for sharing, that must have been tough to write, BHA.

I hope you get him back again for the Super Bowl.

mooby 12-31-2012 08:09 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Damn BHA. Thanks for sharing that, it's making me cherish these moments where I can spend time with my dad watching the game that much more. I really hope the Redskins can give you and your dad a few more of these moments this year.

artmonkforhallofamein07 12-31-2012 08:59 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
[quote=BigHairedAristocrat;982177]A few years ago, my dad was diagnosed with a disease called dementia with Lewy bodies. He's weak, frail, disoriented, thinks my mom is his nurse, and doesn't know who I am most of the time. It's horrible to watch the most important person in your life wither away in front of you by a disease no one understands. I've been through a lot in my life. I've made mistakes. My dad always encouraged, forgave, and loved me.

My dad is usually completely unaware if what's going on after 8pm. He was alert and lucid all night. He stayed awake and was alert. We hollered and cheered the entire game. This has not happened in years. Years.

Ive broken down in tears several times trying to write this. At the end of the game, my dad, in a moment of complete clarity and normalcy, remembered a time years ago when we traveled from Raleigh North Carolina to FedEx field to watch a redskins game. He told me it was one of his favorite memories and that he treasured it. He can't remember who I am most of the time, but after this victory, he remembered that. He remembered me, and a special trip we took together. I will treasure tonight forever. Not because the skins won, but because, for a brief moment, I had my father back. I might not not ever have him "back" again. I just wanted to say thank you, redskins. You gave me a moment with my father I may never get again. My father knows who I am. And he loves me. Thank you.[/quote]

BHA - wow man. I have been through this disease with multiple relatives and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. Brought tears my eyes. That is a special moment.

BigHairedAristocrat 12-31-2012 09:35 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Thank you for your thoughts and support everyone. There's nothing I enjoy more than watching games with my dad. Some people say its just a sport, but football is also something brings families together. I'm so happy my dad raised me right - to be a redskins fan! Hopefully someday I can pass the tradition on.

TheMalcolmConnection 12-31-2012 10:25 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Really amazing story man. Thanks so much for sharing...

budw38 12-31-2012 10:32 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
[quote=BigHairedAristocrat;982550]Thank you for your thoughts and support everyone. There's nothing I enjoy more than watching games with my dad. Some people say its just a sport, but football is also something brings families together. I'm so happy my dad raised me right - to be a redskins fan! Hopefully someday I can pass the tradition on.[/quote]
Great story , Im sure your father would be proud of your writing this . I hope that you and your father get to share watching the Redskins hold the Vince Lombardi trophy a few times ..... good luck ,best wishes for your father .

LBrown43 01-04-2013 02:49 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
Great post BHA. I treid to comment on it a few days ago but was unable to log in.
I lost my dad 3 years ago after a 4 month fight with cancer. He did both radiation and chemo at the same time and he just ended up have nothing left to fight it with.
I went down from NJ to VA where I grew up and where he lived to be with him in his last days. He had no idea I was coming and I showed up on a Tuesday. The day is important because he did not expect me and when he woke up he said "Andy when did you get here". I smiled and said I just appeared in a puff of smoke and he missed it. He smiled and the very next thing he said was "Did the Skins win today"? Even though I left VA over 25 years ago we always talked about the Skins and kept in touch over the good and bad seasons. It was a question he would have never asked any of my brothers so it was special he would ask that right away. I knew he knew it was me. As I said it was a Tuesday....March 2nd, so I realized how bad off he really was but still needed to know how they did. My biggest regret is that I said "They did not play this week dad". In after thought I wish I had said "They had a great game and they crushed the Cowboys". It would have made his day.
We sat together that day as he slowly decided to accept some pain killers and to stop the treatments....giving in as it were and we talked about his fight and that he was an awesome father and how much I loved him and watching the Skins with him. He died the next day as I was on my way back to NJ as the docotors said it could be several days or a week or more and AI needed to get back to gather my family for the trip back. I was not with him as he passed but having that time with him and him asking about thes Skins still makes me smile and remember a strong and proud and very huge Redskins fan. He watches every game with me and know he is having a blast with this season.
Thanks for sharing your story. You might be surprised at how much your dad may be taking in and remembering. So just keep being there with him talking to him and enjoying your time....it is something precious that you will have forever.

los panda 01-04-2013 02:57 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
very cool, i'm glad you were able to share that moment w him.

it is very sad and frustrating when those we love do not/cannot recognize us. during the period of time before my grandfather passed, he had no idea who i was.

Ruhskins 01-04-2013 03:02 PM

Re: Thank you for giving me my father back for a brief moment
 
BHA, this was a beautiful post and thanks for sharing it with us.


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