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Just something funny on Page2 on espn.com

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Old 05-21-2004, 11:03 PM   #1
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Just something funny on Page2 on espn.com

"If the guy who filed the restraining order against Keyshawn really wanted to be safe, he should have just hung out in the end zone."

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/040521
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Old 05-22-2004, 12:00 PM   #2
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Reminds me of the old line about where to go in Chicago during a tornado watch.

Best place is the end zone at Soldier Field because there are never any touchdowns there. BaDaBing! BaDaBoom!!
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Old 05-22-2004, 09:32 PM   #3
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Remember all the mocking commercials they had last year. I remember the one where David Carr lined up with no o-line. Then the one where the Texans got rid of all their specials teams and always go for 2 or go for it on 4th down. Hmm, imhaving trouble remembering any that wernt about the Texans, heh.
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Old 05-23-2004, 10:21 PM   #4
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I remember during the Marty era when the Skins weren't scoring any touchdowns it was the same time as the whole Anthrax scare here in DC so the joke was "The Redskins abruptly cancelled practice today when they noticed a strange white powder on the field....they were later notified that it was merely the goal line" Zing!!!
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Old 05-23-2004, 11:06 PM   #5
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lol... yea I remember those days. Hopefully scoring wont be an issue this year.
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Old 05-23-2004, 11:30 PM   #6
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This is the type of crap I, and I'm sure many of you, had to deal with the past couple of years from friends who aren't Redskins fans:

Q. What's the difference between the Washington Redskins and the
Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.

Q. What do the Washington Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

Q. How do you keep a Washington Redskin player out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts.

Q. Why was Steve Spurrier upset when the Redskin play book was stolen?
A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q. What's the difference between the Washington Redskins and a dollar
bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super
Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Washington Redskins and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Old 05-24-2004, 12:23 AM   #7
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ironically enough I cant say that I heard hardly any of those. I dont think my friends that are Cowboys or Giants fans are smart enough to come up with anything better than "hows that fun and gun working for you..." or stupid things like that
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Old 05-24-2004, 06:50 PM   #8
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By the way I read Simmons' column all the time and I think he is one of the best writers out there. He's definitely the most enjoyable to read.

Besides the articles where he whines about his Red Sox (I'm a diehard Expos fan so cry me a f----n river!), he always manages to crack me up at least once in every article.
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Old 05-24-2004, 07:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCanuck
Besides the articles where he whines about his Red Sox (I'm a diehard Expos fan so cry me a f----n river!), he always manages to crack me up at least once in every article.
Great! So, pretty soon, you'll like two Washington area teams!
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Old 05-24-2004, 07:29 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrudLee
Great! So, pretty soon, you'll like two Washington area teams!
No joke. Actually if/when they do move I really hope it is to Washington. I'm already a Skins fan and when I was a kid I was a big Capitals fan (believe it or not). In fact I may just have to pack up and leave the great white north and head down to DC!

Which brings me to another point:

DAN SNYDER SHOULD BUY THE EXPOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$120M US is a drop in the bucket for him, he could keep a competitive franchise out of his market, plus he could become a hero to a city of 4 million people. But I'll save the details for another post.

And to all you baseball fans out there, don't believe Selig and the media hype - there are PLENTY of LOYAL baseball fans in Montreal.
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Old 05-24-2004, 07:57 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCanuck

DAN SNYDER SHOULD BUY THE EXPOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that NFL ownership rules stipulate that the owners cannot own another professional team in one of the other "big four" leagues. After the Bucs won the Superbowl, there was a bunch of speculation that their owner Malcolm Glazer had his eye on the Dodgers. I read that in order for him to do that, he would have to sell the Bucs first.

But since the Dodgers were recently bought and Glazer bought a big chunk of Manchester United (almost 20%), I guess that's what speculation will get you!


Quote:
Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Q. What do the Washington Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."
I nearly peed in my pants when I first heard this last fall. A die hard Skins fan told it to me. Funny stuff!
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:09 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Butz Baby!
I think that NFL ownership rules stipulate that the owners cannot own another professional team in one of the other "big four" leagues.
Well I'll gladly be Mr. Snyder's front man.

"CrazyCanuck buys the Expos" - I love the sound of that!
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:11 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCanuck

Well I'll gladly be Mr. Snyder's front man.

"CrazyCanuck buys the Expos" - I love the sound of that!
LOL.. that sounds strangely appropriate!

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Old 05-24-2004, 10:29 PM   #14
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A few years ago Robert Johnson and Daniel Snyder were rumored to be interested in joining forces to purchase the Expos.

My understanding is that NFL cross-ownership rules allow owners to own teams in other sports in their home market or in markets without NFL teams.

For example, Paul Allen owns the Seattle Seahawks and he owns the Portland TrailBlazers of the NBA
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