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Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

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Old 10-19-2009, 04:29 PM   #1
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Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

Talk about a headline grabber! If this team has any shot at making the playoffs, and I think they still do, Phil Jackson would be the guy I would bring in to help pull it off. Forget play calling or brining in the next hired gun, this team is in need of a guru of Jackson's stature; someone who doesn't adhere to conventional wisdom and walk lockstep with the organizational flow chart. So in Phil Jackson's stead, I'm standing proxy to deliver this message to the Redskins organization on his behalf.

I really hate to be the one to break the bad news to everyone around here, but I just checked the NFL standings and believe it or not you guys can still make the playoffs. I think this could really boil down between us and the Carolina Panthers vying for the final wild card spot. Now I don't know a lot about football and standings, but it looks like three teams might come out of the NFC North this time around. If there's any consolation from yesterday's lost, it was to the Kansas City Chiefs, who play in the AFC. Which essentially and hopefully, won't come into play when all the tie-breaker formulas come into play. Yes guys, a win against the Philadelphia Eagles next Monday night would be one helluva statement and would keep the Redskins in the playoff hunt. Not to the rest of NFL, per se, but to those of you here at Redskins Park.

Listen, you guys think you're distracted and divided right now? This can be overcome. You remember this pesky, irritating guy named Dennis Rodman who played for me? One season Dennis was getting a lot of media attention for his on the court antics and the team was beginning to feed into this narrative. I told the guys before we took the floor one night, approach this game with no preset agendas and you'll probably come away surprised at your overall efforts. We went on to win the NBA championship.

That being said, I have a few pieces of advice for this team going into the Philly game. First, unplug every TV and computer monitor in every room at the facility until the season is over. I promise you, it will only help to keep you focused on the task at hand. Secondly, coach Zorn please start a very pissed off and embarrassed Jason Campbell next week. I don't care if Campbell has the stats to prove he's worthy of starting or not. I want to know, and Jason needs to know, if he has the ego to bounce back and, more importantly, become a winner in the NFL. I firmly believe starting him will be a defining moment in his career. One way or another.

Coach Zorn, have some fucking fun on the sidelines! Screw being politically correct. At this point, your ass is toast anyway. I think the most important thing about coaching is that you have to have a sense of confidence about what you're doing. You have to be a salesman and you have to get your players, particularly your leaders, to believe in what you're trying to accomplish on the football field. Coach, you're doing too much thinking and not enough selling. Who want's to go down pissed and losing at the same time. What happened to the old Jim Zorn?

Finally, Clinton Portis Halloween is right around the corner. Break out a few of your signature costumes we've come to know and love since you arrived in D.C. Sure it will come across as irreverent and the media will talk, but remember we're not watching TV this week, so who really fucking cares.

Show some Redskins pride against the Eagles and I'll see you guys for a follow-up session during the bye week.



Yours passionately,


Phil Jackson
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Old 10-19-2009, 04:56 PM   #2
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

Guys like Jordan, Shaq & Kobe will make any coach look like a guru. Unfortunately we don't have a guy of that caliber at QB or RB for the Skins. For all the "Zen" junk, Jackson was/is a good strategist, Zorn is nowhere close.

Our playoff chances are zero and the team has no leadership on offense. JC wasn't getting it done, Portis has been pedestrian at best, Moss is hot/cold and doesn't give consistent effort, and Cooley isn't going to put the team on his shoulders and lead them to the promised land (someones got to call the right plays and get him the ball).

Nice try, but we're in "talent evaluation" mode for the rest of the season.
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Old 10-19-2009, 04:58 PM   #3
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

Bro, I'm just the messenger
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:30 PM   #4
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

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Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33 View Post
Guys like Jordan, Shaq & Kobe will make any coach look like a guru. Unfortunately we don't have a guy of that caliber at QB or RB for the Skins. For all the "Zen" junk, Jackson was/is a good strategist, Zorn is nowhere close.

Our playoff chances are zero and the team has no leadership on offense. JC wasn't getting it done, Portis has been pedestrian at best, Moss is hot/cold and doesn't give consistent effort, and Cooley isn't going to put the team on his shoulders and lead them to the promised land (someones got to call the right plays and get him the ball).

Nice try, but we're in "talent evaluation" mode for the rest of the season.
Since talking about the Redskins (and football in general) hurts my head these days...

Phil Jackson was/is a great coach b/c not only is he a great X's and O's guy, but he is also a great game manager and player's coach. The fact that he could do all those 3 things is what won him/them all those championships. The triangle offense (and the level of execution of it that he instills in his players) has revolutionalized basketball. Whether teams use it outright or not, most NBA teams emulate it in some way. As far as game management, Phil Jackson was the first person who was able to make MJ buy into the fact that he needs to manage his minutes. He marvelously managed Shaq's minutes/fouls for their early 2000's championships. As far as being a player's coach, he was able to keep Scotty's ego in check to play 2nd stage to MJ but still make all star game appearances. He was able to keep Rodman's personality in the building and not allow it to be a distraction. He was able to manage Eddie Jones ego and keep a impetuous young Kobe Bryant on the bench. He was even able to keep the Shaq/Kobe feud under wraps for most of the their time together.

Think about it this way, the man almost took a Jordan-less Bulls team to the finals and the Laker's team he won with this year was probably his biggest coaching achievement. Now if only, the Redskins could overperform for their next coach...
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:39 PM   #5
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

Talk about a headline grabber! If this team has any shot at making the playoffs, and I think they still do. At least we still have a sense of humur.
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:39 PM   #6
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

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Bro, I'm just the messenger
I wish I could get a few messages to Snyder at this point.
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:40 PM   #7
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

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Originally Posted by Rajmahal33 View Post
Since talking about the Redskins (and football in general) hurts my head these days...

Phil Jackson was/is a great coach b/c not only is he a great X's and O's guy, but he is also a great game manager and player's coach. The fact that he could do all those 3 things is what won him/them all those championships. The triangle offense (and the level of execution of it that he instills in his players) has revolutionalized basketball. Whether teams use it outright or not, most NBA teams emulate it in some way. As far as game management, Phil Jackson was the first person who was able to make MJ buy into the fact that he needs to manage his minutes. He marvelously managed Shaq's minutes/fouls for their early 2000's championships. As far as being a player's coach, he was able to keep Scotty's ego in check to play 2nd stage to MJ but still make all star game appearances. He was able to keep Rodman's personality in the building and not allow it to be a distraction. He was able to manage Eddie Jones ego and keep a impetuous young Kobe Bryant on the bench. He was even able to keep the Shaq/Kobe feud under wraps for most of the their time together.

Think about it this way, the man almost took a Jordan-less Bulls team to the finals and the Laker's team he won with this year was probably his biggest coaching achievement. Now if only, the Redskins could overperform for their next coach...
I've got a biased view on Jackson....go Celtics
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Old 10-19-2009, 06:00 PM   #8
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

You had better stop. This kind of thing makes sense to Al Snyderrato.
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Old 10-19-2009, 08:50 PM   #9
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

where does the al come from in al snyderatto?
ps 12th man-my dad always used to say ignorance is only bliss until reality smacks you in the face.
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Old 10-19-2009, 08:52 PM   #10
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

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where does the al come from in al snyderatto?
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Old 10-19-2009, 09:42 PM   #11
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Re: Breaking News: Redskins Hire Lakers Phil Jackson‏

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rajmahal33 View Post
Since talking about the Redskins (and football in general) hurts my head these days...

Phil Jackson was/is a great coach b/c not only is he a great X's and O's guy, but he is also a great game manager and player's coach. The fact that he could do all those 3 things is what won him/them all those championships. The triangle offense (and the level of execution of it that he instills in his players) has revolutionalized basketball. Whether teams use it outright or not, most NBA teams emulate it in some way. As far as game management, Phil Jackson was the first person who was able to make MJ buy into the fact that he needs to manage his minutes. He marvelously managed Shaq's minutes/fouls for their early 2000's championships. As far as being a player's coach, he was able to keep Scotty's ego in check to play 2nd stage to MJ but still make all star game appearances. He was able to keep Rodman's personality in the building and not allow it to be a distraction. He was able to manage Eddie Jones ego and keep a impetuous young Kobe Bryant on the bench. He was even able to keep the Shaq/Kobe feud under wraps for most of the their time together.

Think about it this way, the man almost took a Jordan-less Bulls team to the finals and the Laker's team he won with this year was probably his biggest coaching achievement. Now if only, the Redskins could overperform for their next coach...
I was going to mention the triangle, as well. Tex Winter is the architect of the system and is the x's and o's guy for the Lakers.
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