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Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Old 05-12-2010, 04:16 PM   #211
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Since April 9, there have been major floods in Tennessee, the Oompa Loompas have signed a peace treaty with the Munchkins, Gordon Brown has resigned, DynamiteRave dumped 12thMan (he'll tell you it was mutual), and Holy Cross named Morocco Brown's brother their men's basketball head coach

These are all things that happened....or are rumored to have happened
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:45 PM   #212
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
Since April 9, there have been major floods in Tennessee, the Oompa Loompas have signed a peace treaty with the Munchkins, Gordon Brown has resigned, DynamiteRave dumped 12thMan (he'll tell you it was mutual), and Holy Cross named Morocco Brown's brother their men's basketball head coach

These are all things that happened....or are rumored to have happened
I'm seeing Hessy again, so yeah it was mutual.
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:47 PM   #213
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
Since April 9, there have been major floods in Tennessee, the Oompa Loompas have signed a peace treaty with the Munchkins, Gordon Brown has resigned, DynamiteRave dumped 12thMan (he'll tell you it was mutual), and Holy Cross named Morocco Brown's brother their men's basketball head coach

These are all things that happened....or are rumored to have happened
I completely missed that. Link?
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:51 PM   #214
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Originally Posted by 12thMan View Post
I'm seeing Hessy again, so yeah it was mutual.
Keep telling yourself that. You think Hessy and SBF are completely over? You're only fooling yourself
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:51 PM   #215
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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I completely missed that. Link?
Violet Beauregarde tweeted it
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:53 PM   #216
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Keep telling yourself that. You think Hessy and SBF are completely over? You're only fooling yourself
She's totally into me dude. Ask Schneed.
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:55 PM   #217
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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I completely missed that. Link?
I can't find a link of the rumored peace treaty, but here is the start of the 12 year war:
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EMERALD CITY 19-OCT-1998 (SBN) - (Emerald City, Oz) After years of border skirmishes and Munchkin persecution, war finally erupted between the Republic of Oz and neighboring Loompa-Land.

In a brilliantly coordinated attack, armored Oompa-Loompa cavalry riding atop domesticated Vernicious Knids attacked Oz border outposts, overwhelming distracted Munchkin Storm Troopers who were celebrating the Ruby Red Slipper Festival. At precisely the same time, 4 squadrons of Kamikaze hot air balloons clashed with Ozzie Flying MilitiaMonkeys in the sunny skies above Emerald City. But without The Wicked Witch Of The West to lead them, the MilitiaMonkeys were slaughtered like opposable thumbed gnats, leaving the Capital City of Oz defenseless.

The Triumvirate Government of Oz escaped the seige, and were immediately granted asylum at Universal Studios, Hollywood. Said Ozzie spokesman, The Scarecrow, "This vicious attack on Munchkin Nationals was unprovoked and unreasonable. No one with a brain can condone such aggression." The Tin Man and The Lion could not be reached for comment. Hopes for a last minute intervention by Glenda, The Good Witch Of The North, were dashed when it was learned that she had been detained by US Custom's Officials after vacationing in Salem, Massachusetts.

Oompa-Loompas, with their population and territory diminished by predation from carnivorous Hornswagglers, were recently denied by Oz the raw materials needed to manufacture Fizzy Lifting Soda Pop, a pacifying soft drink concoction they developed an addiction to while enslaved by an evil Swiss chocolate magnate in the 1970's. Withdrawals from the mysterious brew have seemingly transformed the amiable Oompa-Loompas into a paranoid race of tempestuous sociopaths.

Loompa-Land, whose primary export is Snozberries, is a DisneyWorld enclave embraced between the borders of Oz, Israel, the Palestine West Bank, and the Dutchy Of Fenwick. It has been a country in confusion since the devaluation of the Wangdoodle and the subsequent purchase of their entire nation by the Disney Corporation in 1989. In 1990, Loompa-Land religious leaders declared Donald Eisner, Disney CEO, the Anti-Christ.

After news of the invasion reached Wall Street, NASDAQ Averages plummeted, with Disney stock curiously showing a 6 point gain by the closing bell. Some critics are claiming that the hostilities are merely a publicity stunt, staged to garner interest in a prospective movie sequel or two.

But the United States issued a strong condemnation of the assault. Said US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to a Harliquin Romance frenzied mob assembled outside of Presidential Impeachment Hearings, "It really wasn't very neighborly. Those people should all grow up."

CNN will be covering the invasion live from Emerald City, beginning at 9am EST tomorrow.
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:58 PM   #218
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Damn!
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:02 PM   #219
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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She's totally into me dude. Ask Schneed.
I dunno, I think the whole Schneed/Hessy feud was simply a cover-up for their unrequited deep carnal desire for each other.

You were, I am sorry to say, just her safe date.
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:03 PM   #220
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Credskins Oompa link just made this thread worthwhile again
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:03 PM   #221
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Uh oh, here's a malcontent. Uh oh media pundits. Go jump on this story. Uh oh this suck ass team has a malcontent. He wants to be traded. He's a selfish bastard. He must be lazy. The team should get rid of his arse for not being a team players. Come on media pundits you were on AH like white on rice.... better jump on this story. No one saw this coming. ....

Patrick Crayton will be at mandatory practice | ProFootballTalk.com
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:05 PM   #222
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Originally Posted by JoeRedskin View Post
I dunno, I think the whole Schneed/Hessy feud was simply a cover-up for their unrequited deep carnal desire for each other.

You were, I am sorry to say, just her safe date.

Joe, first of all thanks for weighing in on this family matter. I have the utmost respect for you.

I was just asking Hess (I call her Hess around the house) what was the nature of her relationship with Schneed. I'll PM you with the details.

12thMan
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:12 PM   #223
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmootSmack View Post
Since April 9, there have been major floods in Tennessee, the Oompa Loompas have signed a peace treaty with the Munchkins, Gordon Brown has resigned, DynamiteRave dumped 12thMan (he'll tell you it was mutual), and Holy Cross named Morocco Brown's brother their men's basketball head coach

These are all things that happened....or are rumored to have happened
.....there are also underlying "facts" that they are reporting. Take, for example, the Oompa Lumpas, JLC reported that an unamed source who is a close friend of someone that banged Willie Wonka's ex girlfriend, says the Oompa Lumpas would like to work for Hershey. That must mean only one thing...they no longer want to be with Willy and they hate him. It can only mean that. What would the unnamed source gain by submitting false information to a member of the media?
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:13 PM   #224
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

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Originally Posted by 12thMan View Post
Joe, first of all thanks for weighing in on this family matter. I have the utmost respect for you.

I was just asking Hess (I call her Hess around the house) what was the nature of her relationship with Schneed. I'll PM you with the details.

12thMan
I know there is some kind of inside story to all this. I just wish I could put names, faces, and personalities together. I think I'd get the full picture then. It's still funny.
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:13 PM   #225
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Re: Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

Off-Topic i know, but I do not have sufficient posts to start a new thread; however, i know there are a lot of people on here from the Richmond area and I have no other way of posting this: Come out to the Richmond Flying Squirrels game tomorrow (Thur, May 13) to meet Redskins great Joe Washington. Meet and greet and will be signing autographs. Here is the link:
or no link because i can't do that either just look up richmond flying squirrels and you will find their webpage.
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