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Laughter is the Best Medicine

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Old 03-17-2005, 12:43 PM   #1
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Laughter is the Best Medicine

It's getting a little pissy on the Warpath lately so I thought I'd lighten the mood with some oldies but goodies.

Cowboy Jokes:

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.

Q; What do you call 47 people sitting around the TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys!

Q. What does Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and a bullfrog have in common?
A. Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth

Bonus Philly Joke:

Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
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Old 03-17-2005, 12:53 PM   #2
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

The bonus joke was by far the best.....
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Old 03-17-2005, 12:53 PM   #3
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Sure, have a laugh at the expense of the cowroids, egirls, and while we are at it, the midgets!
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:01 PM   #4
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!"



Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.



The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.

The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.



Q. Which is more valuable, a dollar bill or the Dallas Cowboys?
A. A dollar bill - you're guaranteed to get four quarters out of it!



Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common?
A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:02 PM   #5
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

If we're doing jokes.....

Teacher in a NY Kindergarten asks the kids in class what their father does for a living. "Miss" says Jimmy "My father is a truck driver. He transports goods to other states". "Very good" says the teacher. "Miss" says Suzie "My Daddy is a police officer, one of NY's finest". "That's wonderful" says the teacher. "Miss" says Billy "My father is a stripper in a gay bar. He also sleeps with men for money". "Billy, go to the Principals office, right now!"
The teacher recounts the conversation to the Principal and the Principal looks sternly at Billy and says "Billy, why would you say such a thing? Is it true?"

Billy says "No, actually he's the starting QB for the NY Giants, but I was too ashamed to say".
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:04 PM   #6
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedskinRat
If we're doing jokes.....

Teacher in a NY Kindergarten asks the kids in class what their father does for a living. "Miss" says Jimmy "My father is a truck driver. He transports goods to other states". "Very good" says the teacher. "Miss" says Suzie "My Daddy is a police officer, one of NY's finest". "That's wonderful" says the teacher. "Miss" says Billy "My father is a stripper in a gay bar. He also sleeps with men for money". "Billy, go to the Principals office, right now!"
The teacher recounts the conversation to the Prinncipal and the Principal looks sternly at Billy and says "Billy, why would you say such a thing? Is it true?"

Billy says "No, actually he's the starting QB for the NY Giants, but I was too ashamed to say".

See, don't we all feel a little better now?
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:16 PM   #7
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Not realy the jokes on us after the past five seasons!

Its time for the pain train to come to Dallas with the conductors of Taylor and Lavar!!
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:30 PM   #8
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

This is one of the first things I ever downloaded and kept off the internet.

Brings a tear to my eye everytime.

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Old 03-17-2005, 01:52 PM   #9
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:56 PM   #10
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

That is the funniest thing I've heard all week!
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Old 03-17-2005, 01:56 PM   #11
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtbag2112
If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.
You could do it on the internet as a pay perview, of course free for all warpath members.
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Old 03-17-2005, 02:18 PM   #12
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtbag2112
If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.
Fear Factor: Warpath!
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Old 03-17-2005, 02:33 PM   #13
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself
into the sea.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young
sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look,
you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you
away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he
slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would
give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain.
"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to
Europe and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry"
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Old 03-17-2005, 03:00 PM   #14
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Fear Factor, here we come!
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Old 03-17-2005, 03:00 PM   #15
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Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine

You beat me to it! :P
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