[JoeRedskin]

This may be TMI (though at this point, can we ever really say that about anything again), but several years ago I had large portions of my insides removed. The net effect was to make me hit the can on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately for my coworkers, the bathroom is pretty much unusuable after one of my sojourns.

I get symphonic (I am putting extra sound proofing in the bathroom I am installing in our basement - Yes, it's THAT loud), it stinks to high hell (even I gag - that's pretty bad), and sometimes it's splatter shit (consistency is an inside joke in my home - my wife will ask "So, were you squirting soup or dumping dough?"). But guess what folks? I am too f...ing old to care and, even if I did, I ain't got any other options. But, hey, I leave the fan on.

I actually have seen coworkers turn around when they see me exit. Once, one unsuspecting soul walked in and, as I walked off, I heard something along the lines of "OH MY GOD, KILL ME NOW!". I just laughed knowingly to myself.

Ah well, if it didn't stink like shit, we wouldn't do it in private.