|
Originally Posted by JoeRedskin
I just received this email from Lenny:
We are not amused at the Redskins' organization and fans inability to grasp our brilliant and incisive commentary. It is just incomprehsible to us that anyone would put their faith in this organization, its players, its coach or its owner. Time and again, this organization has demonstrated that it does not recognize, and refuses to develop, brilliance by its failure to cater to our needs. Specifically, rather than provide us with the foodstuffs necessary for our comfort when attending a game played by this team, the organization, instead, chose to donate such foods to the hungry masses of Thailand, China, and other nations (Although the donations from the last game we attended nearly ended the hunger problem in those nations, they did, unforgivably, cause us discomfort).
Furthermore, the fans of this organization confound us with their constant demands for our opinions to be researched and based on fact. What they fail to realize is that, once we have stated an opinion, any facts implicit or necessary to that opinion are true. Consistently, these fans fail to recognize that we are above the requirements demanded of lesser journalists and that we have neither the time nor the inclination to research any facts. To do so would only delay our pronouncements with no noticeable gain to our adoring public and without providing any discernable improvement to our final analysis.
Despite last year's playoff fluke, we remain unconvinced that Joe Gibbs has the ability to lead this team to anything beyond a mediocre performance. Our opinion in this matter is not subject to debate.
Finally, for those Redskins supporters who believe we harbor animosity towards the team and can only give back handed compliments, you are correct. We do not like you, we do not like your coach, and we do not like your owner. We hope you fail so that we may gleefully and smugly point out that we knew you would fail. If your team is successful despite our incisive analysis and (oh so cleverly) hidden desire for your failure, do not expect an apology from us. We shall simply ignore you until you inevitably fail. Then we shall be the first to remind that we knew you would fail.
Brilliantly yours - Lenny.
I don't think that one's gonna be in the "Tip Sheet"
|