[kingerock]

To the trainers - "America's health care system is second only to Japan ... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain ... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

To Vince Lombardi - "If he is so smart, how come he is dead?"

To his wife - "The food was not undelicious."

The rest are just funny!

"Heh Heh Heh! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"

"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight."

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman."


All quotes by Joe "Homer" Gibbs-Simpson