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Old 02-17-2010, 01:17 PM   #4
tryfuhl
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Waldorf, MD
Age: 42
Posts: 12,514
Re: F...people who tell you how to parent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattyk View Post
You're opening a whole different can of worms here. Discipline doesn't have to mean a beating or ass kicking. If you got your "ass kicked", sounds like abuse to me.
Agreed. My mother was abusive physically and emotionally and my stepfather was a bit cold, very old school to a fault. My grandfather who was my first father figure was very firm but very fair, if he said something there was no other choice but to listen and it was more of a respect thing than a fear. I can't recall a time that he ever physically punished me but I wouldn't have put it past him, but he never would've been cruel with it.

If physical discipline is the norm then you have somehow failed to teach your children to act correctly. Sometimes kids will be kids; it's the "thought out" physical discipline that isn't much of a problem, the reactionary physical discipline is the problem because you're showing that you have no better way to deal with the situation which is quite barbaric in my opinion.

I see a lot of baby boomers say things like "I got my ass beat and it worked" but I've also seen data on prescribed mood stabilizing drugs on that generation as well (they're over-prescribed but to each other age group as well).

The scary thing that I've witnessed lately is young parents not putting aside time for their children, just giving them another video, show, toy, etc to play with. I lived with a "friend" for a bit, his wife and kid. The kid wasn't allowed on the couch, was frequently denied hugs and attention (once they finished dinner they went to watch TV.. if he wasn't finished he had to stay downstairs alone, so naturally he rarely ate much.. if he got hungry later on they told him too bad), was told to either go into his playroom or go to bed from the minute he got home, was told to stop talking if he tried to talk to his mom, etc. If I played with him I'd get fussed at and so would he, because they could hear the kid. That absolutely destroyed me to see and the remainder of the time I lived there I pretty much shuttered myself into my bedroom and it really strained our friendship. Parents who don't want to raise and nurture their children shouldn't have them.
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