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Originally Posted by SolidSnake84
The problem is, since returning from our trip to Florida 32 days ago, we have had a sexless marriage, and a complete lack of other intimacy. I blame myself and have tried everything to try and bring it back. I even started lifting weights to try and change my physical build hoping it would help...Nothing has worked. I'm not ready to give up just yet, but i need help in seeing which way this thing is headed.
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You've gotten some solid advice here, so I'll try to add things I haven't heard yet.
The one thing that pops out is to me is you mentioning that your sex life was rocky before the trip to Florida. How rocky was it? Are we talking you were getting some at a consistent pace and now you've gone to zilch in a matter of 5 weeks? Did something happen in Florida that was the straw that broke the camel's back? Aside from the intimacy, you said everything is happy and wonderful. Does your wife feel the same way? How do you know? Has she told you lately?
Forget what other people have told you about marriage and intimacy because it's completely different from one couple to the next. 32 days is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. It's a bad first dry spell, if it's indeed your first dry spell. I'm 31, married for over 5 years and have 2 kids. We have our dry spells, but as Schneed discussed, it's quality over quantity for us. And while don't get intimate as often as I would like, I don't mind waiting knowing that when we are intimate, we both get pleasure out of it and it's satisfying.
Honestly, it sounds like you are trying way too hard and blaming yourself when results fail. You mentioned your physique and working out. Is that taking away time you guys could be spending together? Are you working a different schedule, working different hours? Is she? Are you guys spending less time together for other reasons?
The fact that breaking up has entered your mind leads me to believe that there are other factors weighing into this that you aren't sharing with us. At 25, you have the rest of your lives to figure things out. If you are in it for the long haul, you aren't debating on whether it's time to get out, you are figuring out what steps have led to this and what can be done to fix it.
I think counseling would be a good thing at this point, and if she doesn't agree now, you go and talk to someone, whether it's a counselor, psychiatrist or a priest. It'll help you figure things out. Above all else, be honest and understanding with her. A marriage isn't over because you haven't had sex in a month.
Good luck to you and I hope things work out.