Commanders Post at The Warpath - View Single Post - understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

SBXVII · 08-14-2010, 08:39 PM

Wow 3 pages already. I'm late to the party I guess.

Ok, most here would say don't ask SBXVII cause I sorta gave my opinion recently about being married after one of our fellow fans got married. But, I'll give you my two cents anyway.....

If it was a recent change- find out why. It sounds like she's mad at you about something. Perhaps something you said or did,.... or did not do. I agree with others, take this head on and approach her about it. It could be one of the above or something simple like she failed to pick up her pills and does not want to get pregnant.

The toughest yrs for any marriage is the first 5. Get past that and you should be doing somewhat well. My joking diatribe....is:

Couples date
Fall in love
*Have sex all the time.*
After the first yr of sex every night it turns into 3-4 times a week. Then after the second yr it turns into 2-3 times a week. Then your lucky to get it once a week and so on and so forth. Welcome to the club. It's a special club and only a select few can be apart of..... for those who are married. lol.

Every one has different issue yet similar....

What is similar is kids... usually. About the time couple have their first kid the wife is exhausted breast feeding all day and night. Your exhausted cause you wake up everytime the kid cries for food or your wife gets out of bed. For what ever reason women find it hard to be sexy and excited about sex while breast feeding or being exhausted. Even though she probably looks sexy as hell. lol.

On top of this wonderful problem we found out my wife was allergic to latex. Condoms would give her an infection which lasted a week to week and a half, then her period which lasted a week, then sex, and the whole process started over. I was getting it once a month.

After the second kid I was fixed and although sex was obviously not an issue anymore other things became the problem. See daycare is expensive so my wife took off and stayed at home and did daycare for other families to help make ends meet. Again I couldn't understand why she kept saying she was so tired at the end of the day. I mean how hard can daycare be? right? until I had to sit in for her so she could make a doctors appointment.

My problem now is she's in menopaus, which means high blood pressure and migraines. To top it off she does not want to take steroids for the menopaus cause she is afraid of possible breast cancer and growing hair everywhere. So in a nut shell she is also dry down there and sex using lube burns.

As I said in the other thread. She's my best friend, my confidant, and as bad as it sounds like I make it out to be..... I've learned I have to take the good with the bad.

Remember... for better or worse?

I'd say talk with her first. Find out if whatever the problem is can be fixed. If not then decide whats important to you.

08-14-2010, 08:39 PM	#152
SBXVII Franchise Player Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 7,766	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? Wow 3 pages already. I'm late to the party I guess. Ok, most here would say don't ask SBXVII cause I sorta gave my opinion recently about being married after one of our fellow fans got married. But, I'll give you my two cents anyway..... If it was a recent change- find out why. It sounds like she's mad at you about something. Perhaps something you said or did,.... or did not do. I agree with others, take this head on and approach her about it. It could be one of the above or something simple like she failed to pick up her pills and does not want to get pregnant. The toughest yrs for any marriage is the first 5. Get past that and you should be doing somewhat well. My joking diatribe....is: Couples date Fall in love Have sex all the time. After the first yr of sex every night it turns into 3-4 times a week. Then after the second yr it turns into 2-3 times a week. Then your lucky to get it once a week and so on and so forth. Welcome to the club. It's a special club and only a select few can be apart of..... for those who are married. lol. Every one has different issue yet similar.... What is similar is kids... usually. About the time couple have their first kid the wife is exhausted breast feeding all day and night. Your exhausted cause you wake up everytime the kid cries for food or your wife gets out of bed. For what ever reason women find it hard to be sexy and excited about sex while breast feeding or being exhausted. Even though she probably looks sexy as hell. lol. On top of this wonderful problem we found out my wife was allergic to latex. Condoms would give her an infection which lasted a week to week and a half, then her period which lasted a week, then sex, and the whole process started over. I was getting it once a month. After the second kid I was fixed and although sex was obviously not an issue anymore other things became the problem. See daycare is expensive so my wife took off and stayed at home and did daycare for other families to help make ends meet. Again I couldn't understand why she kept saying she was so tired at the end of the day. I mean how hard can daycare be? right? until I had to sit in for her so she could make a doctors appointment. My problem now is she's in menopaus, which means high blood pressure and migraines. To top it off she does not want to take steroids for the menopaus cause she is afraid of possible breast cancer and growing hair everywhere. So in a nut shell she is also dry down there and sex using lube burns. As I said in the other thread. She's my best friend, my confidant, and as bad as it sounds like I make it out to be..... I've learned I have to take the good with the bad. Remember... for better or worse? I'd say talk with her first. Find out if whatever the problem is can be fixed. If not then decide whats important to you.