[SmootSmack]

Hey guys. I'm here. My worst fears came true this week as we lost our baby. I have to believe he's in a better place now, but it hurts nonetheless. I was supposed to bring my son home, not his ashes. And now my days and nights are filled with memories of things that never even happened. Taking him to his first game, teaching him how to tie a tie, letting him sit on the SportsCenter desk. I wander around aimlessly these days. But I know this will take time, though it doesn't make things any easier.

Still, others have suffered too. My heart aches for Monkfan's friend who lost his daughter in a house fire, or BleedBurgundy who, with his wife, had waited for the right time to have their baby and lost theirs too.

Our pregnancy was a surprise and I took it for granted. Now I know I won't next time and as scared I am about the next time I know we're ready.

I'll start responding in the locker room again soon. I have some thoughts and insights