Quote:
Originally Posted by skinsy
|
The bolded part above is why I have no interest in reading their article. Since I'm bored and I have a little time to kill I will allow myself to write an article about the rest of the NFC East's free agent signings.
Redskins Rivals: An Overview Of Why They Still Suck; From a Redskins Fans Perspective.
So far in free agency, my favorite team, the 5 time World Champion Washington Redskins, have made moves consistent with filling areas of need. These include a couple wide receiver signings, and a renovation project in Brandon Meriweather that fills a pressing safety need. Now I could sit back and talk about why I think these are the greatest free agent signings in the history of forever, but I prefer to let the results speak for themselves. Instead we are here to discuss the moves our division rivals have made, and whether they will improve their respective teams this season.
First off, our main rivals, the Cowboys. The Cowboys have signed Kyle "derp" Orton, also known as Neckbeard, the Ortonator, and the guy benched for Tim "46% completion rate" Tebow. I don't care enough about that group of losers to comment on the rest of their free agent signings, but rest assured they all suck, and will continue to suck, for as long as Jerry Jones is owner.
Next off, it's the 2011 Offseason World Champion Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles finally stole our strategy last year, signing big names to big deals in the hopes of making a Super Bowl run, but alas their hopes were dashed only 5 games into the season when it became clear that they suck. So far this offseason the Eagles have stayed quiet in the shithole known as Philly, too ashamed to come out of their shitty apartments to talk about free agency after the way it burned them last offseason. Andy "Walrus" Reid is still in charge, so we have no doubt they will continue to suck again this season.
Finally, we're onto the New York "Derpball" Giants. I'm not sure but I believe they have signed their punter to an extension, which as we all know is the most important move a team can make. They are coming off a Super Bowl winning season, but we all know that doesn't count because it came in a lockout season. Eli is still the most
derptastic qb in the league, and rest assured the rumors of Coughlin being fired will continue once they get off to a cold start, because NY is quite the fickle town.
So, in conclusion, all of the Redskins rivals suck, and WOOOO GOOO REDSKINS! ROBERT GRIFFIN III SUCK IT BITCHES! This completely unbiased article is the work of one completely unbiased Redskins fan. Thank you for reading it today.