Funny Sean Taylor Facts...

TheMalcolmConnection · 01-04-2006, 02:34 PM

"Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live."

"When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

"In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him."

"When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead."

"Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill."

"You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children."

"If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response."

"Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

jamf · 01-04-2006, 02:40 PM

Nice!!!

12thMan · 01-04-2006, 02:43 PM

Hey Malcolm I got one:

What's five feet tall, burnt orange and grey and has tears streaming......

Scroll down for answer -

Joey Galloway after a Sean Taylor hit!! (hey, that was the best I could do

BrudLee · 01-04-2006, 02:45 PM

Sean Taylor is the only man to successfully beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Sean Taylor out. It failed miserably.

To attain inner peace, Sean Taylor eats Buddhists.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade.

Sean Taylor once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Sean Taylor is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.

If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor, you may be only seconds away from death.

SanFranSkinsFan · 01-04-2006, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

"Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live."

"When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

"In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him."

"When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead."

"Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill."

"You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children."

"If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response."

"Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

Q: What do you get if you had Sean Taylor minus his sublime coverage skills and his great anticipation when the ball is in the air?

A: Roy Williams, SS, Dallas (Cheap overrated pro bowl selection on non-playoff team)

TheMalcolmConnection · 01-04-2006, 02:48 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! These are awesome. Hey Brud, are you adapting these from the "Vin Diesel" facts?

Schneed10 · 01-04-2006, 02:49 PM

LOL!!!

Behind every great man there is a great woman, and behind that woman is Sean Taylor.

They say when a bear is chasing you, you just have to outrun the slowest person. If Sean Taylor is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Sean Taylor does not hit WRs, knocking balls loose. He scares them into the fetal position.

Since 2004, the year Sean Taylor entered the league, alligator-arm incidents have increased 13,000%.

The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain.

There are no injured WRs. Only WRs who have played against Sean Taylor.

onlydarksets · 01-04-2006, 02:55 PM

Good stuff!

12thMan · 01-04-2006, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schneed10

LOL!!!

Behind every great man there is a great woman, and behind that woman is Sean Taylor.

They say when a bear is chasing you, you just have to outrun the slowest person. If Sean Taylor is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

Sean Taylor does not hit WRs, knocking balls loose. He scares them into the fetal position.

Since 2004, the year Sean Taylor entered the league, alligator-arm incidents have increased 13,000%.

The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain.

There are no injured WRs. Only WRs who have played against Sean Taylor.

Third from bottom is hillarious!!

Riggo44 · 01-04-2006, 02:58 PM

You guys are killing me! lol
I liked these the best.

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade.

Cooley 350Z · 01-04-2006, 02:58 PM

Once, during his formative years, Sean Taylor enslaved an entire race of people because he thought they stole his Swiffer Wet Jet.

The popular food item "Manwich" was created in honor of Sean Taylor, much like the chinese dish General Tsao's Chicken.

TheMalcolmConnection · 01-04-2006, 02:59 PM

HAHAHAHAH! LOL

General Tsao' Chicken.

BrudLee · 01-04-2006, 02:59 PM

www.chucknorrisfacts.com, and others...

More, I say!

Sean Taylor once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Sean Taylor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Sean Taylor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. We know this drink as Red Bull.

Portraits close their eyes when Sean Taylor looks at them.

Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled tackling ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sean roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

As a teen Sean Taylor went back in time and impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

TheMalcolmConnection · 01-04-2006, 03:02 PM

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! I love ripping off stuff.

drew54 · 01-04-2006, 03:03 PM

Sean Taylor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

01-04-2006, 02:34 PM	#1
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Charlottesville, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,264	Funny Sean Taylor Facts... "Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves." "There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live." "When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with." "In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself." "In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him." "When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead." "Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill." "You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children." "If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response." "Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink." __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

01-04-2006, 02:40 PM	#2
jamf Pro Bowl Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Diego Ca Posts: 5,348	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Nice!!!

01-04-2006, 02:43 PM	#3
12thMan MVP Join Date: May 2005 Location: washington, D.C. Posts: 11,460	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Hey Malcolm I got one: What's five feet tall, burnt orange and grey and has tears streaming...... Scroll down for answer - Joey Galloway after a Sean Taylor hit!! (hey, that was the best I could do

01-04-2006, 02:45 PM	#4
BrudLee Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE Posts: 3,494	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Sean Taylor is the only man to successfully beat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Sean Taylor does not sleep. He waits. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Sean Taylor out. It failed miserably. To attain inner peace, Sean Taylor eats Buddhists. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade. Sean Taylor once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Sean Taylor is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian. If you can see Sean Taylor, he can see you. If you can't see Sean Taylor, you may be only seconds away from death. __________________ There's nowhere to go but up. Or down. I guess we could stay where we are, too.

01-04-2006, 02:48 PM	#6
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Charlottesville, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,264	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... HAHAHAHAHAHA!! These are awesome. Hey Brud, are you adapting these from the "Vin Diesel" facts? __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

01-04-2006, 02:49 PM	#7
Schneed10 A Dude Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Newtown Square, PA Age: 46 Posts: 12,458	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... LOL!!! Behind every great man there is a great woman, and behind that woman is Sean Taylor. They say when a bear is chasing you, you just have to outrun the slowest person. If Sean Taylor is chasing you, you're dead no matter what. Sean Taylor does not hit WRs, knocking balls loose. He scares them into the fetal position. Since 2004, the year Sean Taylor entered the league, alligator-arm incidents have increased 13,000%. The chief export of Sean Taylor is pain. There are no injured WRs. Only WRs who have played against Sean Taylor.

01-04-2006, 02:55 PM	#8
onlydarksets Playmaker Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: all up in your business Posts: 2,693	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Good stuff!

01-04-2006, 02:58 PM	#10
Riggo44 The Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: San Clemente CA Age: 51 Posts: 2,390	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... You guys are killing me! lol I liked these the best. "In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself." The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sean Taylor played in second grade. __________________ Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

01-04-2006, 02:58 PM	#11
Cooley 350Z Special Teams Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Richmond, VA Age: 42 Posts: 209	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Once, during his formative years, Sean Taylor enslaved an entire race of people because he thought they stole his Swiffer Wet Jet. The popular food item "Manwich" was created in honor of Sean Taylor, much like the chinese dish General Tsao's Chicken. __________________ <PeterGriffinVoice> Lotta Honky's In Here... </PeterGriffinVoice>

01-04-2006, 02:59 PM	#12
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Charlottesville, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,264	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... HAHAHAHAH! LOL General Tsao' Chicken. __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

01-04-2006, 02:59 PM	#13
BrudLee Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE Posts: 3,494	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... www.chucknorrisfacts.com, and others... More, I say! Sean Taylor once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Sean Taylor doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Sean Taylor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a beverage. We know this drink as Red Bull. Portraits close their eyes when Sean Taylor looks at them. Sean Taylor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled tackling ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sean roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. As a teen Sean Taylor went back in time and impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. __________________ There's nowhere to go but up. Or down. I guess we could stay where we are, too. Last edited by BrudLee; 01-07-2006 at 04:28 PM.

01-04-2006, 03:02 PM	#14
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Charlottesville, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,264	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! I love ripping off stuff. __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

01-04-2006, 03:03 PM	#15
drew54 The Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: IOWA Age: 42 Posts: 1,324	Re: Funny Sean Taylor Facts... Sean Taylor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. __________________ No pressure, no diamonds.

Funny Sean Taylor Facts...

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