On Marriage

[saden1]

For those of you who are married what tips do you have for us unmarried guys? How and where did you propose? Why did you propose to her? What do you do to keep the spark going? What kind of adjustments did you have to make? What kind of impact have the children had on your marriage?

[KLHJ2]

1. Denny's, I had the waitress put the ring in her dessert. Not the most romantic place and she damn near choked on the ring.

2. At the time I thought that I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now I am still with her and I imagine being with someone else all of the time.

3. Role playing definitely helps, but I found that the biggest thing that makes the relationship stronger is when you F up real bad and it jeopardizes the whole marriage. As soon as you realize that you can lose her for good it snaps you back to reality. The love of a good woman is irreplaceable. It makes you remember the way you felt when you first fell in love, though I would not recommend taking this course of action.

3. I married an older woman, so she had to do more adjusting to my immature habbits than I had to adjust to her. Over time you just start getting wiser about how you spend your money and time. On top of that you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and you start to make better decisions based on the two of you. Picking your battles can be thrown in there somewhere.

4. Honestly, children make a marriage tougher, but if it were not for my children our marriage might not have lasted. If your girl was wild before kids expect that behavior to come to a screeching halt. Guys tend to still be guys when they first have children. Most women become instant nurturers overnight. It usually takes us guys a while to catch up.

I know that I really haven’t told you anything, but in reality you cannot teach experience. At the same time everyone’s experience is different.

I wish you well and hope I have helped, even if the information provided was minimal.

[htownskinfan]

Originally Posted by Angry

1
2. At the time I thought that I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now I am still with her and I imagine being with someone else all of the time.
.

LMFAO

[saden1]

Originally Posted by Angry

1. Denny's, I had the waitress put the ring in her dessert. Not the most romantic place and she damn near choked on the ring.

2. At the time I thought that I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now I am still with her and I imagine being with someone else all of the time.

3. Role playing definitely helps, but I found that the biggest thing that makes the relationship stronger is when you F up real bad and it jeopardizes the whole marriage. As soon as you realize that you can lose her for good it snaps you back to reality. The love of a good woman is irreplaceable. It makes you remember the way you felt when you first fell in love, though I would not recommend taking this course of action.

3. I married an older woman, so she had to do more adjusting to my immature habbits than I had to adjust to her. Over time you just start getting wiser about how you spend your money and time. On top of that you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and you start to make better decisions based on the two of you. Picking your battles can be thrown in there somewhere.

4. Honestly, children make a marriage tougher, but if it were not for my children our marriage might not have lasted. If your girl was wild before kids expect that behavior to come to a screeching halt. Guys tend to still be guys when they first have children. Most women become instant nurturers overnight. It usually takes us guys a while to catch up.

I know that I really haven’t told you anything, but in reality you cannot teach experience. At the same time everyone’s experience is different.

I wish you well and hope I have helped, even if the information provided was minimal.

Very nice post.


LOOOOOL

[skinsfan69]

Originally Posted by Angry

1. Denny's, I had the waitress put the ring in her dessert. Not the most romantic place and she damn near choked on the ring.

2. At the time I thought that I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now I am still with her and I imagine being with someone else all of the time.

3. Role playing definitely helps, but I found that the biggest thing that makes the relationship stronger is when you F up real bad and it jeopardizes the whole marriage. As soon as you realize that you can lose her for good it snaps you back to reality. The love of a good woman is irreplaceable. It makes you remember the way you felt when you first fell in love, though I would not recommend taking this course of action.

3. I married an older woman, so she had to do more adjusting to my immature habbits than I had to adjust to her. Over time you just start getting wiser about how you spend your money and time. On top of that you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and you start to make better decisions based on the two of you. Picking your battles can be thrown in there somewhere.

4. Honestly, children make a marriage tougher, but if it were not for my children our marriage might not have lasted. If your girl was wild before kids expect that behavior to come to a screeching halt. Guys tend to still be guys when they first have children. Most women become instant nurturers overnight. It usually takes us guys a while to catch up.

I know that I really haven’t told you anything, but in reality you cannot teach experience. At the same time everyone’s experience is different.

I wish you well and hope I have helped, even if the information provided was minimal.

lol. it's called being a man.

[MTK]

I think everyone should have to wait until at least the age of 30 to get married, and you should also have to live with that person for at least a year prior. No kids until after 30 as well.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think everyone should have to wait until at least the age of 30 to get married, and you should also have to live with that person for at least a year prior. No kids until after 30 as well.

I agree with you. I got married when I was 32 and had a kid at 34, my wife was 30 when we got married. We were together for 3 years before hand and had lived together two years. You really are not married until you have kids that is the big test, that may not be a fair statement but it sure feels like it.

Marriage and children are a lot of work. In a healthy marriage I think you always love the other person but at times your level of liking that person can raise and fall. It is all about compromise.

[saden1]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think everyone should have to wait until at least the age of 30 to get married, and you should also have to live with that person for at least a year prior. No kids until after 30 as well.

What is the reasoning behind these policies?

[MTK]

Originally Posted by saden1

What is the reasoning behind these policies?

The divorce rate is much higher amongst people who get married in their 20's vs. their 30's. Same for those that have kids early.

Feel each other out, if it's meant to be there should be no rush.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think everyone should have to wait until at least the age of 30 to get married, and you should also have to live with that person for at least a year prior. No kids until after 30 as well.

In principle I agree with this, but I'd say if you're as mature as a typical 30 year old when you're 25, then go ahead and get married.

I got married at 24, but was very much settled down and was continuously making mature decisions. It has worked well for me.

Likewise, if you're as mature as a typical 25 year old when you're 40, then I'd still say don't get married.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

In principle I agree with this, but I'd say if you're as mature as a typical 30 year old when you're 25, then go ahead and get married.

I got married at 24, but was very much settled down and was continuously making mature decisions. It has worked well for me.

Likewise, if you're as mature as a typical 25 year old when you're 40, then I'd still say don't get married.

I hear ya I'm just talking in general terms.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

In principle I agree with this, but I'd say if you're as mature as a typical 30 year old when you're 25, then go ahead and get married.

I got married at 24, but was very much settled down and was continuously making mature decisions. It has worked well for me.

Likewise, if you're as mature as a typical 25 year old when you're 40, then I'd still say don't get married.

IDK I had a hell of time betwen 20 and 30 and if I was married probably would have not had as many life experiences. Plus if I had gotton married early my spank bank would be seriously lacking deposits. =)

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by mredskins

IDK I had a hell of time betwen 20 and 30 and if I was married probably would have not had as many life experiences. Plus if I had gotton married early my spank bank would be seriously lacking deposits. =)

Yeah, it depends on if you're the kind of person that likes or wants the kind of "life experiences" you're talking about.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Yeah, it depends on if you're the kind of person that likes or wants the kind of "life experiences" you're talking about.

Everyone is diffrent. The married life you describe in post #21 would have sent me to divorce court. I like my freedom and never could deal with my wife always having to know where I am. Neither is right or wrong just what works for you.

[GhettoDogAllStars]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think everyone should have to wait until at least the age of 30 to get married, and you should also have to live with that person for at least a year prior. No kids until after 30 as well.

Divorce rates are higher for couples who live together before marriage.

Lots of data on this can be found on the Internet... do a google search for "divorce and cohabitation" -- the theory on why it happens is basically a lack of commitment.