Wife Question: Dropping Momma' at the Plane

[TheMalcolmConnection]

OK, so basically my wife and I haven't spoken in like 48 hours. The entire basis behind this tiff is that my mom asked to be dropped at the airport Saturday morning. It's a 2 hour round trip, and I don't know what the big deal is. My wife wanted to do something fun for the weekend, but we already had a commitment. While I do agree with her that it's ridiculous for my mom and stepdad, aunt and uncle to not drive themselves, I'm doing it as a son's obligation.

To put things in perspective, we haven't done a vacation where it wasn't HER families in years, so we don't have extra money to do stuff just the two of us. Whenever I post things about vacations here, it is ALWAYS with her family, and I'm just expected to smile and take it.

I think it's INSANE that this fight has gone on this long AND to the magnitude it has for what it's about. I'd love to get some input on this, and any females or spouses of members here, am I wrong or right?

I've given her about 4,000 outs on this one. I suggested I drop my mom off, then she and I go to a nice overnight in DC or Blacksburg, but that just won't work for her.

[SolidSnake84]

I am missing something here. What is your wife mad about? The fact that you had to drive your mother?

My friend, i have only been married a short time, but even i know that everything will always be "her way". Thats just the way things are. Good luck, buddy.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Yeah, basically that's what she's mad about. I mean it's one thing to be annoyed that we have to do it. I do a lot of favors for her family that I get annoyed about but do them with a smile on my face.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

Yeah, basically that's what she's mad about. I mean it's one thing to be annoyed that we have to do it. I do a lot of favors for her family that I get annoyed about but do them with a smile on my face.

Welcome to married life. The wife's mother-in-law (your mom) will ALWAYS be a tightrope walk...yet her mother will never be an issue...don't make it one either. Even if a wife adores her mother-in-law, they both will claim you as theirs and eventually, it will end up in a head-on collision.


Valid question...don't ask her though...time of the month? I know it comes across as a naive, chauvinistic, rude accusation to a woman, but whether they realize it or not, their sanity can go out the window and they end up regretting some things they say and do in a few days.


Just don't back down and let her walk all over you, but also don't go out of your way to be an instigator. Just do what you have to do, don't bring it up unless she does and do your best to try to balance the happiness of all of the women in your life.

If you do sit down to talk it over, try to stay calm and help her realize how much you do for her family and how you'd appreciate the same in return, even if less often from her regarding your family.

It's a battle that is inevitable in most marriages...unless the wife hates her own family and replaces them with yours.



*married almost 9 years if that means anything

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Originally Posted by Buster

Welcome to married life. The wife's mother-in-law (your mom) will ALWAYS be a tightrope walk...yet her mother will never be an issue...don't make it one either. Even if a wife adores her mother-in-law, they both will claim you as theirs and eventually, it will end up in a head-on collision.


Valid question...don't ask her though...time of the month? I know it comes across as a naive, chauvinistic, rude accusation to a woman, but whether they realize it or not, their sanity can go out the window and they end up regretting some things they say and do in a few days.


Just don't back down and let her walk all over you, but also don't go out of your way to be an instigator. Just do what you have to do, don't bring it up unless she does and do your best to try to balance the happiness of all of the women in your life.

If you do sit down to talk it over, try to stay calm and help her realize how much you do for her family and how you'd appreciate the same in return, even if less often from her regarding your family.

It's a battle that is inevitable in most marriages...unless the wife hates her own family and replaces them with yours.



*married almost 9 years if that means anything

And saden, my relationship is a LOT like Buster's...

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

And saden, my relationship is a LOT like Buster's...

Don't get me wrong, we have a GREAT marriage...very happy and satisfied...but my point was that any woman can have a crazy streak...we just have to try to survive it without doing any permanent damage or something that can be brought up later.

Stand your ground but also try to keep the peace. These things (moods) always pass.

We do seem to have something in common...seeing her parents ALL THE TIME.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Buster

Don't get me wrong, we have a GREAT marriage...very happy and satisfied...but my point was that any woman can have a crazy streak...we just have to try to survive it without doing any permanent damage or something that can be brought up later.

Stand your ground but also try to keep the peace. These things (moods) always pass.

To that note it be wise to learn your wives period panties if you see her wearing them keep back at least 100 feet.

[jdlea]

So, what "fun thing" were you guys talking about doing this weekend? How long have you known about dropping your mom off? And did you cancel plans in agreeing to drop your mom off?

I need those answers before I can properly give you input

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Did not cancel plans. The fun thing she was trying to set up was on Monday and apparently she didn't remember or know that I had planned to do this.

[KLHJ2]

Malcolm, your wife isn't mad about you driving your mother. That is just the straw that broke the cammel's back. She is pissed about something else or even someone else, but the fact that you have to drive your mother has pushed her over the edge. Rarely do women ever let on what they are really upset about. This is just a guess but she probably is upset about not having a weekend alone with you in general. You could have been asked by the president of the United States to fly to Africa and save a bunch orphans from a burning building and she would have still been pissed.

Go to savemyass.com and it will make it all better.

[GhettoDogAllStars]

Originally Posted by Angry

Malcolm, your wife isn't mad about you driving your mother. That is just the straw that broke the cammel's back. She is pissed about something else or even someone else, but the fact that you have to drive your mother has pushed her over the edge. Rarely do women ever let on what they are really upset about. This is just a guess but she probably is upset about not having a weekend alone with you in general. You could have been asked by the president of the United States to fly to Africa and save a bunch orphans from a burning building and she would have still been pissed.

Go to savemyass.com and it will make it all better.

This 100%.

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by Angry

Malcolm, your wife isn't mad about you driving your mother. That is just the straw that broke the cammel's back. She is pissed about something else or even someone else, but the fact that you have to drive your mother has pushed her over the edge. Rarely do women ever let on what they are really upset about. This is just a guess but she probably is upset about not having a weekend alone with you in general. You could have been asked by the president of the United States to fly to Africa and save a bunch orphans from a burning building and she would have still been pissed.

Go to savemyass.com and it will make it all better.

im not married, i feel like it thoo since weve lived together for 2 years.

i obviously dont know your relationship but my lady will get mad when she gets the impression we havent spent enough time together talking. we could spend the weekend hosting friends for a bbq then drinks or a baseball game, basically spend the entire weekend together.

but since we didnt spend the entire weekend gazing into each others eyes by candle light exposing our deepest secrets, it doesnt count as "us" time.

ill say WTH are you talking about, we spend every second were not at work together. she will get madder.

good advice by smoot in saying dont say its not a big deal.

my lady (and probably alot of other mad women) would interpret your text saying "when your ready to be normal" to be "when you stop acting like an irrational hateful bitch" or "when you come back to reality on planet earth"

one thought i have held for awhile now and has never done me wrong so far:

no matter how irrational a lady can act, if she is mad or upset about things like not spending enough time with you . . .she's just really saying she loves you and she hast gotten a chance lately to express or share that love. in that context, its always been easy for me to kiss and make up. alot of times lil misunderstandings can turn into full blown war.

but it sounds like you may have bigger underlying problems in regards to how your and your wifes time is allocated amongst the respective in-laws. for that, im not married and havent had to deal with those issues in the minor leagues.

good luck but think of the underlying emotion for her position - she loves you a whole lot. i imagine some wives would be thrilled to have her hubby away, even for 2 hours.

[MTK]

Based on the info you gave here TMC I can't see where you're in the wrong. Don't give in, this is something she needs to get over. Suck it up woman!

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

Based on the info you gave here TMC I can't see where you're in the wrong. Don't give in, this is something she needs to get over. Suck it up woman!

That's pretty much my thinking. She needs to deal with it and stop pouting, two hours isn't that long, you didn't have plans and it's in the morning on Saturday. You can still go do anything you want with the rest of your weekend.

I also agree with the idea that she's probably pissed about something else, but without talking to you, it's going to be tough to figure out what that is.

Bottom line: you didn't do anything wrong. I don't really understand where she has any room to be angry about anything here.

[firstdown]

Do you do a bunch of stuff for your mom and its ticking off your wife