Funny Sean Taylor Facts...

[TheMalcolmConnection]

"Onions do not make Sean Taylor cry. Sean Taylor makes onions shit themselves."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sean Taylor allows to live."

"When Sean Taylor was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Sean Taylor!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Sean Taylor could use to kill you, including the room itself."

"In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Sean Taylor, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him."

"When Sean Taylor jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Sean instead."

"Sean Taylor has two speeds: walk and kill."

"You are what you eat. That is why Sean Taylor's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children."

"If you were to lock Sean Taylor in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Sean replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response."

"Sean Taylor invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."