advice needed...

[CRedskinsRule]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Wow dude you've got a lot going on right now. Sounds like you've made the decision to be with this Julia. For me it breaks down like this:

1) Priority 1 for you has to be finding a job if you're going to make this move. I don't know how you can go on vacation given that you're planning on living in Cali in this economy. I'd cancel the vacation and work my *** off to gain meaningful employment. Priorities. Vacation later once you're settled. If you're going to be moving in with Julia and her kids, you're going to have some degree of responsibility for supporting her and her kids. The kids are going to be dealing with a lot as it is, being taken away from their father, make sure you don't make matters worse by failing to help out financially.

2) I don't think she should run away for a week, either. Not sure about legal implications, but the right thing for her to do is go to a lawyer, tell him she has decided she wants a divorce with her husband, and get the lawyer's advice as to how to proceed. If she goes through those channels, given that the guy has been abusive before, she should have no problems and all her bases will be covered.

3) Keep in mind, this husband of hers is always going to be in her life to some extent. He's the father of her kids and will be granted visitation of some sort, I'm assuming. You're going to see him on a semi regular basis. Get yourself prepared to deal with the BS while grinning and bearing it.

As for jobs, I can offer no advice on the California area. All I can say is leverage your contacts and networks. That's the only thing that can really help in this economy. But definitely first things first, get a good job. Otherwise you're going to end up in a real shitty mess. Don't give Julia one reason to regret leaving her husband.

This post is dead on, and the part about the ex is absolutely 100% accurate.