Joke Thread - Post 'em if you've got 'em

[ArtMonkDrillz]

This is kind of dumb and you've probably heard it, but shut up and read anyways...

A guy is walking along a pier one morning when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench crying. Being a nice guy he sat down next to her and said, "Ma'am, may I ask why you're crying?"
The woman looked up and said, "I'm so lonely. I've never even been hugged."
The man looked around and then decided to give the woman a nice big hug, then he got up an left.
The next day the man was taking another walk on the pier and happened to see the same woman on the same bench, and she was crying again.
"What's the matter, today?" he asked her.
"That was nice of you yesterday, but today I realized no man has ever kissed me. Do you mind?"
So again, he looked around and since he saw no one, he kissed her on the lips.
Afterwards she said to him, "Thank you, but I'm still kind of sad. Do you know that I've never had sex before?" Would you mind?"
Annoyed, the man looked around again; since he saw no one he picked the woman up and tossed her in the ocean. After he heard the splash he looked over the rail to see her struggling to stay above the surface.
Then he called down, "There, consider yourself fucked!"