How long do you wait to call a girl?

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

It's funny how almost every person (man) that I ask this question has a different answer.

I think part of that is because most of us are at different walks of life. At 15, he'd probably be best served calling sooner rather than later. At 15 that girl probably wouldn't judge him for calling the same day, I mean, who really knows how to play games at 15?

At my age (college, before I got into my current relationship) half the time, I didn't know where numbers came from. We'd be out in New Orleans and I'd wake up with a new number with an "H" label which either stood for "Hot" or "hoe" depending on the case. Then, next time I'm out, I'd just text them to see if they felt like hanging out, if not...whatever, I knew very little about you anyway.

The thing is, I think what he says to the girl will be about the only thing that changes her attitude about him. I don't know, but I doubt a 15 year old will be like "Can you believe he called me the same day?!" I just don't think the amount of time he waits will matter that much. He just shouldn't wait too long though, that'd be my only advice.

I guess my recommendation is next day. He'll more than likely be nervous regardless, but the conversation will say a lot more than the amount of time he waits. He's off to a good start, though, pulling numbers at 15...nice!

[Schneed10]

Bottom line: if the girl actually cares how long a guy waits to call her, whether it's 5 minutes or 5 days, then she's a waste of time anyway.

Makes no sense to worry about it. Get off the sidelines and just call her.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

It's funny how almost every person (man) that I ask this question has a different answer.

There's no right answer basically.

Let's turn it around, let's say you gave a guy your number and you were interested in him and you thought the feeling was mutual. If he called the next day or in 3 days would it really matter to you?

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz

Now I've got to ask: if he met her on Friday and it's now Thursday, has he called her yet?

Nope, but he told her he was going to the beach until this Friday.... so he wasn't sure if he should call her while he's there or wait until he gets back... or just text. Poor kids mine is spinning... ha ha..

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

There's no right answer basically.

Let's turn it around, let's say you gave a guy your number and you were interested in him and you thought the feeling was mutual. If he called the next day or in 3 days would it really matter to you?

Hmmm, it all depends on how much we like the guy:

If he's so/so possible like but unsure, you can call us whenever you want and we won't mind.

If we think we could really like you, we quietly hope you'll call and make a date before the next weekend, but we don't want you to call right away because that makes the man look desperate and we want the man we are really interested in to be considerate (not rude).

Men that call that same night we think only are looking to get laid, and fast.

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

Hmmm, it all depends on how much we like the guy:

If he's so/so possible like but unsure, you can call us whenever you want and we won't mind.

If we think we could really like you, we quietly hope you'll call and make a date before the next weekend, but we don't want you to call right away because that makes the man look desperate and we want the man we are really interested in to be considerate (not rude).

Men that call that same night we think only are looking to get laid, and fast.

I'm just speaking in hypotheticals, but what if he texts you something like, "Nice meeting you tonight" or something of that nature...just curious

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by jdlea

I'm just speaking in hypotheticals, but what if he texts you something like, "Nice meeting you tonight" or something of that nature...just curious

That's just sweet. We wouldn't mind it at all. But don't call the next day to make a date... that's too soon!

[MTK]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

Hmmm, it all depends on how much we like the guy:

If he's so/so possible like but unsure, you can call us whenever you want and we won't mind.

If we think we could really like you, we quietly hope you'll call and make a date before the next weekend, but we don't want you to call right away because that makes the man look desperate and we want the man we are really interested in to be considerate (not rude).

Men that call that same night we think only are looking to get laid, and fast.

That's why 3 days is kinda money

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

That's just sweet. We wouldn't mind it at all. But don't call the next day to make a date... that's too soon!

When I was playing the field, I very rarely made "dates." It was more like, "I'll be here with my friends, if you and you and your friends are around, you should swing by or we could come meet you all." Pretty much, my litmus test for a real relationship was whether she got along with/could hang out with my friends, if not, they were there first and they'll be around after you. It was sink or swim pretty much right away.

If I was feeling like there could be something, then we'd go out on a date after that..

EDIT: And yeah, the text message used to my thing.

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Bottom line: if the girl actually cares how long a guy waits to call her, whether it's 5 minutes or 5 days, then she's a waste of time anyway.

Makes no sense to worry about it. Get off the sidelines and just call her.

HUH? You don't want the girl to care if you call her or not? .... ok, that's a first.

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by jdlea

When I was playing the field, I very rarely made "dates." It was more like, "I'll be here with my friends, if you and you and your friends are around, you should swing by or we could come meet you all." Pretty much, my litmus test for a real relationship was whether she got along with/could hang out with my friends, if not, they were there first and they'll be around after you. It was sink or swim pretty much right away.

If I was feeling like there could be something, then we'd go out on a date

I think adults like dates, but this is good advice for my son.. to meet at the movies with friends....

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

I think adults like dates, but this is good advice for my son.. to meet at the movies with friends....

I agree, I was more referring to parties/bars, but I could see where that may be a problem for 15 year olds, though.

Btw, did I correctly understand that your son thinks this girl is too hot for him?

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by jdlea

I agree, I was more referring to parties/bars, but I could see where that may be a problem for 15 year olds, though.

Btw, did I correctly understand that your son thinks this girl is too hot for him?

I don't know if she's too hot for him, but he kept telling me how hot she is and seemed nervous and a little insecure about it. My son is a great looking kid 6ft, 170 - tall, dark and handsome. He shouldn't worry about how hot she is.. but I can't tell him that. He thinks I'm biased because I'm his mother.

[jdlea]

Originally Posted by hesscl34

I don't know if she's too hot for him, but he kept telling me how hot she is and seemed nervous and a little insecure about it. My son is a great looking kid 6ft, 170 - tall, dark and handsome. He shouldn't worry about how hot she is.. but I can't tell him that. He thinks I'm biased because I'm his mother.

That's one thing that has me a little concerned. I think his confidence could be a bit of an issue. Most guys will agree that confidence is the biggest thing in the world when talking to girls, that and paying attention to what they say. I don't know how many times we've had that conversation with friends of mine...I digress. I think I would really mess this situation up as a parent. I'd be like, "You're only 15, you're not going to marry this girl, don't put pressure on it, call her and see what she likes to do. Do that with her and have a good time with this. You're too young to get this worked up about it."

Now, to most people my age, they would probably agree that that's true, but it's probably the last thing in the world a guy/girl who's 15 wants to hear.

[hesscl34]

Originally Posted by jdlea

I'd be like, "You're only 15, you're not going to marry this girl, don't put pressure on it, call her and see what she likes to do. Do that with her and have a good time with this. You're too young to get this worked up about it."

Now, to most people my age, they would probably agree that that's true, but it's probably the last thing in the world a guy/girl who's 15 wants to hear.

Um, that's pretty much what I said to him... but I am trying to understand that in his mind it's a big deal. I'm sure he'll be fine. I was just very curious what a man's perspective would be.