understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

[MonkFan4Life]

Hey Solid I know we butted heads in the Campbell thread but I can seriously feel your pain. From reading it seems that you like most men probably would like to have sex every second of every day. Hell you wouldn't have married her if you didn't. When I had my issues with my wife and believe me they went on for years. I would stay as persistent as I always had before. When I wanted it I asked, I asked why when she didn't want to and as a man I always wanted to break out my "toolbox" because I felt like any situation could be fixed. But what I found to be most effective was to not ask for sex. Now this took me a while to perfect because when the feeling came I was ready and she knew. But when you don't ask for it then they begin to wonder why. Eventually she asked me why and I was honest in saying that when I ask you're going to say no so why put myself through the bullshit. Which did end up starting an arument or 40. Never the less, we would have occasional sex and when I say occasional I mean like maybe once a month type of shit.

We've been to many marriage workshops and stuff like that. She finds the crap and I go. Usually it ends up helping in some way shape or form. Mostly with communication. We went to this Bible based joint early this year and the guys were talking about having sex and how it has to be done because it keeps the realtionship healthy. Now praying and all that before cranking ?..... cant do it. Because what I do in the bed has NOTHING to do with God unless she's calling him I can tell you that. But I say that to say tha communication is the key. It's not your fault that this is such a silent issue betwen the two but that what is missing. So be patient above all.

She would tell me how she would want to while she was at work but the seond she got home other things took over and she would eventually be too tired. We had many talks where I would tell her that I do everything that I should be doing around the house, with the baby, whatever and all I ask for is this one thing. Long story short, now I'm pretty much a lock to get some tail on weekends. Is it what I want ? Hell no. But, that's the tender morsel of heaven that I have to go with now. Sex is something that she never wants to talk about because she says she has this self esteem thing or that she doesn't feel right atlking about it. Which is crazy because the things that we have done....sorry Smoot. TMI.

Anyway, just stop asking her for it, make it seem as though you don't give a shit if you all get it in or not. Try not to breathe hard so that she knows that you're frustrated when she wants to spoon and if you blood rushes down there let it be. Compliment her and all of that good stuff. But under no circumstances do you let this be a deal breaker. You all got married for a reason, the sex will come. Now if this thread was titled "I'm Going Crazy Because My Wife Is A Bitch" then maybe we can start finding lawers. I got a friend who is close to divorce and it's a litle disheartening.

Keep the faith, Keep the love, be patient, and like Angry said whack it to Laura Croft. Or some good ol Lesbo Porn ! Or whatever you prefer, I just don't like dudes in mine. I'd say I'm about 99-1 on all chick to anything with a dude stuff. There have to be some pretty mean There are many sites where you can get 200 min of movie time for ONLY $19.99. I've still got my log in just incase there is another dry spell !

Good Luck Man !